it has been a few wks since he officially broke up with me after 4 years b/c he was unhappy... his bday just past and i feel really bad for not sending him a bday txt msg, should i still send a belated one?
I took the break up badly and I did ask him back before but he said he wants to be single, feels stress-free, tell me to not have hope, find another man. i have now completely moved on but i don't want to feel like we are enemies. Or should i just wait until he decides to contact me one day?
2007-10-26 06:44:27 · 29 answers · asked by angelgirly888 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You shouldn't wait on him period but if you want to send a message just don't have any hope of a friendly thank you. You didn't do anything on his birthday for a reason, I wouldn't be terribly motivated to do anything now unless I was hoping for something to happen.
2007-10-26 06:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what your intentions will be. If you send a belated birthday greeting is it just an excuse to have a chance to rekindle the relationship or just a friendly greeting? You say you took the break up badly, do you still carry hurt feelings about it? If so, I would say do not send one, no use in trying to rekindle something that is already dead. This will only hurt you if he were not to return your greeting. If you do decide to send him one anyway, you can say "I know I am hurt by your decision to break up, but I have accepted it and wanted to wish you well and also a belated happy birthday greeting"..This way you lay the cards out there on the table and he will not think you are only text as a way to get in touch with him. Wishing you the best!
2007-10-26 13:51:56 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, why send him a happy birthday message? He broke up with you remember? You did not do anything to him and frankly he does not deserve a happy birthday from you. If he wanted to remain friends with you then you would have known by now and if you were to contact him he might see you as being desperate or trying to hold on to something that he stated clearly was over, i suggest you wait until he contacts you if he does. Until then move on hun, put yourself out there, start dating again and forget about him because it is very unlikely he is still thinking about you (not meaning to offend you). Why would you send someone something when they broke up with you if you are not meaning to try and rekindle what you had? Why would you send someone something when you are supposedly over it? By sending him something you could only be hurting yourself more and making yourself look bad. It is not a good idea but you know only you can make that decision whether to send him something or not, if you do, do not get upset if you don't get anything back.
2007-10-26 13:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't send anything. Maybe he's not ready to just be friends, or maybe that's not a realistic option; it can be hard to keep it on that level if you shared strong feelings and intimacy. I've been in a similar position in the past and made the mistake of contacting an ex (with friendly intentions as I don't like to leave on bad terms). It felt awkward and did nothing to improve how things were left off. It sounds like although you may have moved on you still have feelings for him if this is bothering you so much. As he broke up with you, it must be him to make any future contact, if at all. Try to move forward and think of him as in the past...it may help with your healing. Good luck :)
2007-10-26 13:53:18 · answer #4 · answered by Gubbins 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop lying to yourself, it's only prolonging your pain. It's been a few weeks after a FOUR YEAR relationship. It takes longer than that to grieve. He's obviously moved on and if he hasn't you are pushing him away by being aggressive in your actions, even a simple birthday text will seem like a push from you. No contact for now. Tell yourself 30 days. After that evaluate, try it for 30 more days. After a nasty break up, a clean break is the best. Good luck.
2007-10-26 14:00:53 · answer #5 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well when I read the 1st part I was going to say yes, send him the message. But after reading the 2nd part I say screw him!!! Let him do his thing as a free man and you try your best to move on. There is a man out there that will treat you like a Queen. Keep your eyes and heart open and he will find you! Good luck!
2007-10-26 13:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by geminimom79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be better for you to not acknowledge his birthday only because I get the feeling that you are still emotionally attached to him. This doesn't mean that if you run into him somewhere you can't stop and say hello and wish him a belated happy birthday, but he has made it very clear that he does not want ties with you. It is time to cut him lose.
2007-10-26 13:49:36 · answer #7 · answered by ceegt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He made it clear...........time to move on. You will be seen as desperate by keeping in touch in any way. Break contact and go get a new man or go on dates with several. Make the most of it and have fun. You will have a great time and it is likely to drive him crazy especially if he thinks you are waiting for him.
2007-10-26 13:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by joe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. His birthday already passed, so if you send it now he's gonna think that you are still interested and your going out your way to talk to him. It's only been a couple wks so give things a little more time to cool down and then maybe you guys can talk.
2007-10-26 13:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by forever yours 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Based on your question you haven't moved on but he has. I wouldn't send him anything even if you have the best of intentions. He will probably think your trying to win him back.
If he really said all those things to you I'd just about bet he has someone new. Forget about him and look ahead. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
2007-10-26 13:48:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋