I have this guy friend who I am interested in and he might feel the same way.However I have a huge problem which is I am unable to get close to him in anyway. Sometimes we want to talk to each other but I basically put up an invisible wall between us. This is because of things I went through a few years back.What I want to know is if it is wise to talk to him about what I'm going through because our friendship is suffering. On more than one occassions dating experts have stated that you should never tell the person who you are interested in your problems as they could see you as too much baggage. So do I talk to him about my issues or just continue to work privately on my problems?
2007-10-26 06:39:11 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Pity the poor guy! He probably hasn't slept a wink since you put up those walls between you two. He's probably wracking his brains trying to find out what it was he did to make you act this way towards him. Or was it something he said? And he is completely innocent in all this mess that you are creating between you two. Please put an end to his dilemma and tell him whatever it is that has been bothering you. He could just be the guy to help you. Good luck.
2007-10-26 07:00:02 · answer #1 · answered by Maloy5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say work on your problems and the relationship at the same time. In the first place, you should never (and i've learned this the hard way by allowing too many potential relationships slip away because of the ways i'd been hurt in the past) let past circumstances define your present relationships. The past is the past and should have nothing to do with your present relationship. You can use your past as a guide, but not to define your relationships. Secondly, if you continue to develop the relationship with your friend, you might get to a point where you will be able to discuss your past baggage and maybe he'll even be able to help you. Thirdly, stop listening to 'experts.' They spend too much time studying rats running around in mazes and not enough time experiencing life. Try listening to your heart a little more and let that help you make your decisions.
2007-10-26 13:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pink don't know who the dating experts are that you've been getting advice from but I have to disagree with them 100%. In order for any relationship to be successful people have to communicate and be honest with one and other. Everyone brings along some type of baggage into a relationship and it is always nice to know beforehand the truth and not find out afterwards. If he is truly a friend and interested in you trust me he will want to hear about what has caused this wall to be built up around you. Whether or not he has any suggestions or not at ;east he will be there to share with and will be grateful that you have chosen him to share this experience with. Besides I've often heard it said that a problem shared is a problem cut in half.
2007-10-26 13:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would absolutely be honest with him. If he is the one for you he will be understanding and compassionate about whatever it is that you went through and will care about you enough to help you through it. Also, I think that dating experts may say that if you have just met someone... obviously you wouldn't share your issues with a perfect stranger, but this guy is your friend. He won't be scared away.
2007-10-26 13:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell him why you have put up a wall , let him know its not him but that you are struggling with things from your past. you also need to let the past be the past it has happened and whatever it was hurt you but to move on let it go. life is so wonderful live it. move on this guy could end up making you so happy, give his a chance. if life was easy everyone would do it.
2007-10-26 14:12:33 · answer #5 · answered by I love my DIRTBIKE! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
share somethings with him. tell him you have alot going on. tell him you want to let him in your life but there alot there to deal with and you dont want to scare him away. if he seems to want to help then tell him you will share alittle with him at a time,and if he feels its to much or that he doesnt think he can help then all he has to do is tell you and you will close that door to him.
2007-10-26 14:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. Life is to short!
2007-10-26 13:42:53 · answer #7 · answered by geminimom79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dis lui la vérité
2007-10-26 13:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by prood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋