I keep catching my husband in "little white lies"....?

Question

all the time. He told me he was broke because he paid cash for really cheap old car he bought (this was a few months ago) then i found a receipt where he actually took a loan out to buy the car and has been paying payments on it. Out of the blue he told me he cancelled the internet and I discovered it was still on accidently by plugging in the wireless. Since he had told me it was off he lied about where he got some videos and said his brother put them on a memory stick instead of telling the truth. I asked him about the internet and he said I, and then we were spending too much time online so he lied about having it cancelled. I only go online to check email once a day and look up occasional recipies. He belongs to a ton of forums and posts all the time. He goes online first thinh when he gets home, last thing before bed and even gets up early in the morning to go online. I know it seems petty but I feel really betrayed that he lies about the littlest of things. w/o reason

Answer 1

Most people would consider these 'bald face' lies.

So nice to know you don't. Thats probably why he keeps feeding you these so-caled 'white lies' huh?

Answer 2

It's called a womans intuition. Everything is right there in front of your face. I'm not saying that he has does anything wrong yet, but the way things are going he will. If you caught him in those little lies then imagine what other lies he might have told or secrets that he might have. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and he has totally violated that. You and your husband need to sit down and have a really serious talk about somethings

Answer 3

Put a big sheet of paper on the fridge - your name and his at the top - one mark for every lie you each tell.

his: money - flirting with women online - loans - etc.

yours: not tonight i have a headache - yes i came - it was on sale - sure i trust you

Total 'em up! What a fun game! Lowest number gets head!

That, or sit down, look each other in the eyes, and say, "I lie to you all the time. Here's why in 25 words or less: ... "

Then both of you put together an action list of how to be different 3 months from now and can start correcting your obvious character flaws.

By the way, I'd tell him if he doesn't give me all his internet passwords in 15 seconds we are effing THROUGH, since the sneaky loan pushed me to the edge of divorce.

Only someone with sh*t to hide has secret passwords. And you can take THAT to the bank.

Answer 4

The one thing I have learned in the time I have been on this earth, its that small lies usually lead to BIGGER LIES! It sounds like he has some issues with honesty to say the least! I know there was a time when I was on line and looking at all the porn websites. And my wife was really abandoned by me at times, and I finally had to come clean and tell her that I had a problem with pornography! It was not easy to do and I am still working on it hard. But I believe my wife was so happy that I was able to be honest with her! And I in turn feel alot less anxious too! Maybe set down with your husband and really open up your heart to him. Let him know that he can tell you what is going on with him, Be compassionate as best you can be.. Good luck to both of you :)

Answer 5

Lies in a marriage is a bad thing. If you can't be open and honest with each other whats the sense in being married. Let him know how you feel and that you will not accept any lies, be they little and white or big and black. Period. End of discussion. Ask him why he feels the need to lie and you'll find the real issue here. Good luck :)

Answer 6

Sounds like he's trying to gain control over what you do and what you find out... I don't know, if my man was posting all day on the Internet and then became a hypocrite about it when it was my turn to get on....I'd think something is up! It's time for you to get your head out of the sand and do some investigating, because he's doing this for a reason. You need to trust your gut instinct on this, because it's usually right and any woman will tell you that.

Answer 7

If he lies about the little things, he will lie about the big things. But, you already knew that - didn't you? Take a long hard look at this relationship. Good Luck. Life can be a lot better than this.

Answer 8

I divorced my first husband for little white lies. It got to the point that I could believe anything coming out of his mouth. You can not build a relationship on lies. Good luck, but he is not going to change and I bet he is hiding a lot more from you than you know.

Answer 9

These little white lies seems to be a habit of his. You need to sit him down and work out this situation because if you don't do it now. Than he'll end up lying about bigger things. First of all, you need to tell him to stop telling you lies and just be out with the truth. He probably sees it as..."these things aren't important, why do i need to tell her these things." You need to let him know that the little things in life are just as important as the big things and for him to just be straight up honest with you.

Answer 10

well this sounds like a communication problem thats not that bad but can get worse. first of all your husband has created a gap between you & him were he feels he cant trust you enough to tell you the truth(if thats all there is), it seems he wants to control the situation about the internet to his advantage if he's getting on it as much or more as everybody in household does. now this situation about the loan thats bad buisness & its selfish, because as a married couple thats something that needs to be discused between the to of you & he's going out making move on his own thats not good at all, if you never knew about the loan & he falls short on the payment that could mess the whole family up. you need to talk to him about his trust issue with you or better more his lying issue with himself. good luck!

Answer 11

I feel that if ppl lie about "little" things then they also lie about big things. Not sure why they do it, but my conclusion is that he is afraid to tell you the truth for some reason. Maybe he thinks you wont agree or that you'll get mad. Maybe he wants to feel like he is making some decisions on his own. Whatever it is, you need to get to the bottom of it fast! Good luck.