Is It Normal To Miss The Thrill Of The Chase?

Question

I've been married 6 years, have 2 wonderful kids but I'm really starting to miss the thrill of the chase, you know going out with mates at the weekend clubbing, getting really drunk, and chasing the opposite sex,

I now don't have any mates as we all settled down and parted ways, I had to give up alcohol due to a medical condition, My other halh hates clubbing so never get out.

I suppose I feel bored, I miss chasing after the opposite sex, Is this normal??

Answer 1

Of course it is. The thrill of the hunt is encoded in a man's chromosomes which is why to some men, getting married is a bloody awful deal. Men are hunters whereas women are gatherers. When women go out to go shopping and do the groceries, they still get to to their gathering. Men on the other hand, get their arrows taken away from them, effectively getting castrated as soon as they perform their vows.

But hey, look at it this way. You don't have to work for sex, sex works for you!!! Er...wait, did you say you've been married 6 years? Nevermind.

Answer 2

I'm not married, nor do I have kids, but I've been with my boyfriend for quite a while, and we live together. I think that you're just missing the excitement of the chase. There are so many things you and your wife can do (without the kids) that will be thrilling, new and exciting. If you don't have the money to plan a cruise or an exotic vacation, start looking in your area for things you've never done or seen. I was able to find a BEAUTIFUL place in the state I live in that my boyfriend had never been to and I hadn't been to in years. It was one of the greatest times we've ever had together. I think the fact that it was new and exciting--a real adventure--made it so wonderful.

Answer 3

Well think about it, if you did this alot in the past you probably just took a hard turn and made that big change. Now your thinking back, because it was a big change i your life.

If you ask me yes it's normal. Especially if your working all day, you hardly ever spend time with the family stuff like that.

My suggestion is if your other half doesn't like clubbing try going little by little like partying, not clubbing. Now if you want fast results you might have to make sacrifices too. Do something that you know she's gonna like but you don't, that will actually make her want to try going clubbing.

Ok this might not work on all women, but you can try it. It won't hurt in a relationship to once in a while spoil each other. Hopefully this can help you out. L8rs

Answer 4

You have reached a psycho-sexual impasse at this point because of the traumas that you have sustained it really does switch the mind off.If I may make a suggestion, under the circumstance you have presented, endeavour to forgive yourself because the little boy still believes he instigated the original encounter.This may seem a strange way of approaching it, but by putting it into perspective of an adult it becomes easier to deal with.You are approaching the sexual act in a mechanical mind rather than an emotional one, because it was the emotional that has given you all of the trauma disappointments and psychological punishment, and disenchantment sets in with the obvious outcome that you are experiencing at this moment.The first part is to begin and trust yourself as this is the most important part of your own psychological recovery and it just doesn't happen overnight but it least begin to trust yourself because this is the most important person you have to deal with.As you gain inner strength so you will regain your own self-esteem because everything in this manner gets a hiding. Seek a good counsellor who can understand your problem and this may also help, at least I hope so. Good luck, and look for the best in the world that is in front of you.

Answer 5

the chase is always fun. it's normal to miss it and the feeling that comes with catching the subject. however, it can be just as fun to do it with the one your attached to. there are more ways to have fun than clubbing you know. you sound like you're getting into a bit of a rut. too comfortable so to speak. change things around, liven it up. you'll find the chase is still on. happy hunting.

Answer 6

Yes it is perfectly normal. Whenever I find myself missing the single life, i think of all the other things I have instead. My kids and my husband, and I try to do things with my husband that lead to more intimacy and it doesn't matter if that means more emotional connection or a physical one. Do something new with your spouse, and spice it up a bit. All though I miss it, I would never go back to it because of how much I would miss my family.

Answer 7

I think that its normal. A lot of people feel like that after a few years a of marriage. Especially when kids come into the picture. I know I do! But if it really really bothers you then you should probably talk to your wife and set aside some time when you guys can either go out just the two of you, or for you just to go out with your friends. For you just to have your own time. Because if these feelings keep persisting they can eventually cause some harm to your family and married life.

Answer 8

Perfectly normal. I am happily married to a wonderful man, but I too miss the chase. Not enought to act on it though.

It was fun, I was good at the game and rarely got burned.

Answer 9

Well yes, it's normal to think back at the good old times. But as long as you still remember why you married her in the first place and think of what you guys do as a couple together and maybe compromise as to what new things you two can do as a couple!!!

Answer 10

Yes, it's normal. You have to recognize that you are just at a different place now. Maybe there is some way to create a new kind of "chase" with your wife.