Should husbands have the right to discipline their wives?

Question

Why or why not?

foxy: no that's not what I ment----we all know the answer to that one.

racer: I was talking on the phone to a friend that was a psych major also and she said she's about concluded that everyone (marriage wise) would be happier if we all went back to the husband having full charge---I pointed out that not all women are submissive so how would that work? She said discipline goes a long way....
Thus my question was born.
While certain lifestyles I fully understand and back a man's right to discipline I can't help but wonder---would it really be right to force all women regardless of prefs into a situation where if they want to be married they have to submit without question to thier husbands rule? I do believe all husbands should be head--but she took it much further than that.

Lioness: You may have a point.

Zipper: Well said and so true. Like Lioness said maybe it was a poorly worded question but also I believe it has to do with various personalities...I have trouble understanding the shock of my question.

Kinz: The things you describe as OK would be a hellish nightmare to me! Threaten to leave because he's upset with something? geez...that's suppose to be ok?

Rainbow: Why the hostility?

Answer 1

Absolutely not. In a relationship, each party is entitled to take any action as long as it not abusive verbally or physically. So, if a man doesn't like his wife's behavior, he can leave her, threaten to leave her, ask her to go to counseling, etc. In a relationship between two adults, no should be "disciplined."

Answer 2

"a friend that was a psych major also and she said she's about concluded that everyone (marriage wise) would be happier if we all went back to the husband having full charge."

What exactly has your friend been reading that would lead her to such an assumption and what sources is she citing? Furthermore, what college is she studying at and please don't say Regent University. I don't know how it is for everyone else, but my marriage is based on teamwork between equals. My husband was once asked who wore the pants in the family and he simply replied that he did, but that I laid them out for him. I would rather have a marriage of equals than a marriage where I could be disciplined for whatever transgression I had supposedly committed. Who would want to return to the days when rule of thumb actually meant that a woman could be beaten as long as the stick was as thick as the man's thumb?

Answer 3

It's my understanding that marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. There's no such thing as a "chosen" or "superior" gender.

Husbands being the family leaders/heads of households doesn't give them the authority, right, or power to be "little Hitlers", doing whatever they please (especially wrong) without any repercussions, while "disciplining" wives for every little nitpicking thing.

If male children are brought up with a sick, twisted view of manhood and bring that view into their future marriages/relationships with women, women are in trouble. Just because men don't become pregnant, give birth, go through a "time of the month", etc. doesn't mean they are inherently superior to women. No one and nothing is superior but The Almighty. And only The Almighty. We should always remember that.

Answer 4

I don't think so.

Because in my opinion, the wife can be an equal (if she wishes to be). To me, discipline is related to correction from a certain level of authority or power over another person, such a parent/child relationship, or teacher/student.
However, there's a difference between that and expressing discomfort, expecting certain changes that are beneficial to the relationship...let's say for example, she has done something that is inconsiderate or inappropriate (according to the agreements/conditions within their relationship), such as taking too much money from a shared account when the budget is low or disrespecting him, actions such as those are a disregard to the partner, and deserve to be addressed as a serious matter, in which she should change, but is not required to, it is her choice and his to remain with such a woman. The same applies in reverse, the woman has the same right to express discomfort and expect change if he were do something inappropriate according to their relationship.

This is ideal for me, I know that some women prefer to be submissive and to me, that's also ok, each person should follow the path that he/she believes is self-fulfilling and suitable for his/her relationship.

Answer 5

Certainly not.

In marriage - at least in our society - we are talking about a voluntary union between two adults. We are not talking about the rearing or education of children, the training of soldiers, or the control of prisoners.

Your point that threatening to leave would be a "nightmare" is well-taken, and in a loving relationship people shouldn't causally make ultimatums. People need to discuss their disagreements and difficulties. But if such problems cannot be discussed in a respectful manner, leaving may be the only option. Such an ultimatum should be the last resort however.

Answer 6

I have to say absolutely not, but I also have to say that I find this question fascinating. There seems to be a never ending supply of questions designed to bring out the intensely polarized responses that can be so maddeningly entertaining (or maybe it's entertainingly maddening).

Edit: So yeah, I was completely wrong. Too obvious, I guess. Or I totally missed the point. Was there a point?

Answer 7

Discipline is a very military/strong word, assuming superiority.

Couples have, and exercise the power (not saying it's right) to withhold certain things from each other and develop some sort of positive/negative reinforcement system. Some women punish husbands through sex or attitude. Some men punish women through money (if she's dependent on him) or even coldness. But as far as "disciplinee" goes...the last time anybody had the power to disciplin me was when I was a minor, living at my mother's house. Unless there is role playing involved, I would have to just shake my head and laugh if anybody attempted to discipline a grown and intelligent woman.

EDIT: I think you threw people off by the word. People react strongly to "DISCIPLINE", when in reality, an unofficial reward and punishment system exists in all relationships. I bet if you rephrased the question and left "discipline" out, responses would be different.

Answer 8

I fail to see where "Love" and "Discipline" would ever come together. There should be a sense of trust. So, where would the reasons for discipline come from? Nowhere!! Except from the minds and twisted logic of some who think they are superior. And always wanna have an excuse to beat up on someone. Geepers!!!

Answer 9

Should wives have the right to discipline their husbands?
Why or why not?

Because only children- and puppies - require 'discipline'. Any man - or woman - who believes otherwise will justifiably be left with the indentation mark from a collision with a frying pan on their skull. They will be 'corrected'.

Mature, psychologically healthy grown-ups treat their partner with dignity and respect. This entails treating him/her as an EQUAL being, not an INFERIOR one.

Answer 10

No. I'll get to my reason in a minute, but first.
Edit Zero:the woman who is a jewel in your crown will never have to be hit, cause if she's not in the first place she never will be; it has to come from inside, not by outside forces. (what I said before wasn't right)**Now my reason; besides what I've already stated is I whole-heartendly believe it's nothing but a prelude to a relegious excuse, yeah, I know we have it in Islam, too, to beat your wife. I've heard of wives who've been literally beaten to a pulp, won't stand up for themselves, cause relelgion says so. That's a bunch of crap!
BIG TIME EDIT HERE: My comment about the stick offended some, I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE. What I meant was a man should have a pretty good idea b4 he gets married whether, or not she's more than willing, or she isn't. For example the men I dated and married, got married twice, figured that out about me; to tell you the truth it scared them, except for the one I'm married to now; he expects/wants obedience and I fit the bill.

Answer 11

Is this the Middle Ages or 2007 soon to be 2008? OBVIOUSLY the answer is no. Wives are adults, husbands are partners in marriage and not parents and the notion of one disciplining the other is simply ludicrous.