Is sexual harassment in the workplace overblown?

Question

I'm not talking about employers who threaten women with dire consequences if they don't submit to their advances; clearly that is wrong. But what about instances where oblivious, annoying men pester you for dates and such, without ever crossing a line? Shouldn't these matters be resolved between the two parties, without intervention of higher ups? Can't ladies stand up for themselves (in this situation)?

Answer 1

These laws have gone way too far. Actual sexual harassment, where there is a sexual advance or a manager using their status to try & coerce a relationship or things of that nature definitely need censure.

...But telling a dirty joke or having a picture of pair of breasts appear on your monitor should not fall into that category.

"Feelings" dictate punishment. Any woman (or man, but c'mon) could "feel" like she was being harassed even when there was no clear harassment.

If women want people to think they are strong & can handle the workforce... they need to reject the laws that coddle them & treat them like timid little flowers.

Answer 2

I think it is waaayyy overblown; in particular there was a case awhile back at a big beer company (think it was Anheuser Busch but not sure) where a man was talking about a Seinfeld episode from the night before and one of the women at the water cooler overheard him and filed a lawsuit for 4 MILLION dollars. I mean, come ON. Now when it went to court (yes, it got to court which is why our courts take so long dealing with frivolous lawsuits like this one) she was actually awarded the money, a bit less; then a while after that it was overturned. I don't know what the final outcome, but that is an example. This society is the most litigious in the world with the women way out in front. It has to stop because these ridiculous suits detract from real sexual harrassment cases and diminish the whole situation.

Answer 3

Yes, I think it's getting a bit out of hand. And off color jokes or remarks could and should be dealt with between the parties involved. However, if the jokes/remarks continue, then I do believe it's necessary to involve upper management. Or if it's a physical interactions. I'm not at work to be pawed and groped.

I had an annoying friend who continued to ask a female coworker for dates. After repeatedly refusing him, she eventually brought in the boss. His totally oblivious response? He wanted to get her some type of gift as an apology for making her feel uncomfortable. He's a nice guy and that was a nice sentiment, but utterly inappropriate. No, he didn't deserve to lose his job (and he didn't). But if it continued I can understand how the woman could feel threatened and scared by his actions.

Answer 4

Sexual harrassment is not about attraction. Very often, the abusers aren't even attracted to their victims. What they are doing is a form of bullying. They want to create a hostile workplace environment so the victim will quit or transfer out. Those men who repeatedly pester women for dates don't actually want to date them and probably wouldn't know what to do if the women actually accepted. I've known of cases were married women were pestered for dates and the perpetrators knew that they were married but didn't care. The abusers want to get rid of their victims. That's why less attractive and older women can be harrassed, too. Sometimes men are victims of sexual harrassment. Has that ever occurred to some of the posters here who don't take sexual harrassment seriously?

Answer 5

I've had experience only in the employer - employee perspective. I got hired at this cafeteria as a salad girl and I found out why when the boss made sexual advances towards me; you could say in two minutes flat I made it very clear he hired me to serve salads not give him sex on the side, sure could have lost my job, didn't care about that; my dignity was more important; no job is worth keeping when your dignity is on the line. Wish I had experience with the one you really want to hear about..

Answer 6

Rio - in a perfect world: yes. But we don't live in a perfect world. We live in the real world.

Not all girls & young women have the self-confidence to assert themselves - especially girls who have been abused and ignored. They are too fearful of the possible fallout/backlash caused by rocking the boat. Not every young girl has led as privileged a life as you. Many have been trained to accept that nobody gives a rat's ***. Their life has always been about nobody giving a rat's ***...those are the cards the hand of fate has dealt them. They are not yet 20 and already feel defeated by life. I should know - I used to belong to their ranks. They GREW UP being sexually harassed: what's so different about being sexually harassed at the workplace, then? Only the setting has changed; the predatory behaviors remain the same. You daren't complain because you know you will be perceived as having been responsible: after all, what did YOU say or do to CAUSE HIM to behave that way??? Obviously, you encouraged him. You will be instructed to change YOUR behavior because clearly you are doing something you shouldn't be. You are the one at fault. This is called 'blaming the victim'. Alternatively, you'll hear other excuses including but not limited to:

1. 'They're guys. It's what guys do. Don't take it so personally'. It's your perception that's wrong [so shut up]. Called 'dismissing the victim'.

(and)

2. 'You are making a mountain out of a molehill [so shut up]. Also called 'dismissing the victim'.

'No' victims can't always 'stand up for themselves' as you put it poster because often they will end up getting FIRED. I have seen sooooo much groping of female colleagues in my life, I personally have been groped, highly innapropriate humiliating, unwanted 'back massages', sexual comments made by male colleagues, sexual things said by male customers/clients, colleagues insisting I be their girl-friend (read: 'bit on the side'); there's plenty more where this stuff came from...

One major difference is when you are young you are the most insecure. You are too humiliated and fearful to open your mouth to defend yourself. But it's primarily younger women who are the victims of sexual harassment.

Older women are far less likely to suffer gropers (and other fools) gladly. Older women are more likely to defend themselves. I once threatened a customer who had groped me with my serving tray - over his HEAD. He ended up making a public apology.

But then, these creeps instinctively know this and keep WELL AWAY.

No, harrassment in the workplace can NEVER be overblown. Any sexual harassment at ALL is too much.

Answer 7

I agree usually men who are annoying are pretty weak minded any way so if she would stand her ground typically the guys back off unless he's your boss or something then things may get hairy.

Speaking of sexual harrassment in the work place.... What about all these female teachers gettting it on with student. Well I guess it's not harrassment if your willing. Makes me wish I was in high school...er again. Ha ha

Answer 8

Persistence after repeated, punctuated refusals (i.e. "Look, _______, what does it take to convince you that I don't want to go out with you?") can be a cause for concern, since it shows that the guy might not take no for an answer. However, instances such as aversion to a sex joke shouldn't be brought to the attention of management. Telling the joker to cut it out will do.

Answer 9

Repeatedly asking a woman for a date when she has let it be known that she isn't interested, happens more often than you think. Or how should a woman handle a coworker that rubs against her? Or constantly makes reference to her body? Or refuses to follow orders from a female supervisor? Guys doing these things don't back off- they see it as a sign of weakness.

Answer 10

I think the key word in your question is "pester."

She's obviously not interested in the date. If you are not understanding this, then she needs to hit you upside the head. In the work place, this usually means reporting you to her supervisor or HR.