My husband yells at me and cusses at me from the moment we get up till the moment we got to bed he doesnt want me to have any friends and is always trying to start trouble with me and them i cant go to the bathroom without him following me and wanting to sit by the dorr till i get done at home he raised his fist to me but he never hit me hes alot bigger than i am hes not affectionate anymore he wont keep a job he wants to be under me all the time and i am sick and tired of it but i cant bring myself to leave when i do try he starts being sweet for a while then he goes back to same old him after about 2 or 3 days i have a kid so im scared to leave him because what if i dont ever find some one else what should i do
2007-10-26 05:29:16 · 30 answers · asked by usmhotchic123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i was in that kind of relationship and its best for you and your kid to be on your own. there are plenty of places to call to get some help call your local dhs and you will be better off with out him. as for not finding any one else you just be happy that you and your kid are safe and God will send someone your way when you least expect it. He did for me and i wasn't even looking i was happy with just me and my kid . holler at me if you want to chat some more and i will do what i can to help you out.
2007-10-26 05:45:46 · answer #1 · answered by ms01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What if you don't find someone else? That's your big worry? Lady, you have a KID who is growing up in a horrible, negative environment!!! You are doing him HARM by staying! He is watching all of this and THIS is what he will have to go by when he starts dating. What do you think he'll copy? Do you really want him growing up with that kind of example of what a man is supposed to be like? You need to get out as soon as possible with a PLAN in place. You probably will find a much better guy some time down the line but for right now, you need to worry more about getting your son away from this horrible example.
2007-10-26 05:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok think about it for a sec okay? He is a you know what! He's controlling and mentally abusive...and it wouldn't surprise me if not too far down the road he got physically abusive...what is this going to teach your child? Your child will learn from him too...do you want your child like that? I don't think so....and as far as meeting someone else? Is it more important to be with someone than being and feeling safe and haveing a better life for your child? And if it is then there are better men out there...but for me I'm a single mom of 2 kids...been single for almost 5 yrs now....I've met other men but I am happy raising my kids so I keep it this way....they are more important than a love life....
2007-10-26 05:40:09 · answer #3 · answered by grdnangel0209 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him. NOW. He is emotionally abusive and extremely controlling. The fact that he has raised his fist to you means that either a) he hasn't hit you yet, but will or b) thinks physically threatening you is acceptable behavior.
Don't stay because you think you won't find anyone else -- there are plenty of men out there, and you deserve much, much better. Your child also deserves better -- he/she is not safe there, and will learn that that is acceptable behavior.
Find an attorney, get your ducks in a row, and get the hell out of there.
2007-10-26 05:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by War Games AM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have two options:
1. Leave you husband. I know, easier said than done. Set up a support system before you do. Tell your parents/siblings/friends or anyone that you're close with what is going on so you can secure a place to stay before you leave (with your child). Explain to him that while he has not been physically abusive, he has been extensively emotionally abusive and you fear for your safety and the safety of your child. Realize that being alone for awhile will stink, but not as bad as living in fear and being abused. Abuse is a slippery slope. He abuses you emotionally now, he has threatened to hit you, what do you think is next?
2. Seek counseling! Counseling with your husband may help to get some feelings out into the open. He is obviously angry about something and acting as though he is very suspicious of what you spend your time doing. Counseling may help to explain why and create a setting where he can tell you things he may not otherwise know how to express. If he refuses to seek counseling with you, he is in denial about the state of your marriage. Go back to option one.
Stay safe. Good luck.
2007-10-26 05:39:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's time for you to find a women's shelter. If you never found someone else, it would be better than living like that...but you will find someone else. You'll find someone one better, but the main thing is that you'll be safe and so will your child. If you don't have a local shelter, go stay with some family members or friends. Let them know you don't want to speak to him or hear from him. They can help keep him away from you. It's time to cut your losses and leave that loser before he does hurt you or your child.
2007-10-26 05:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by D C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave him. Who cares if you don't find some one else. You need to look after you and the child. This is abusive and he is trying to control your every move and you are playing right into his hands by letting it continue. It won't be long before he gets physical-do you really want to raise your child in that situation? You need to get a lawyer and kick him out.
2007-10-26 11:02:39 · answer #7 · answered by joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is what you should do learn how to be independent and just leave him alone. And to me your just plain stupid one you have a child and do you really want him to grow up around that kind of stuff. see thats the problem with women today they fall for that little lovey duby role and in the end they get played. all im trying to say is grow some balls and leave. and don't worry about finding someone else let them find you. if worst comes to worst rent the movie enough with jennifer lopez and create a buddy system with a girl friend... good luck and get out that home!!
2007-10-26 05:44:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Until you do something about it, you'll remain in this relationship that is NOT healthy. Guess i'm too strong willed. I would never let a man treat me like your's is.... If you love him, and want to remain with him, seek counseling, if not for both of you, at least go alone...and if he's that adamant about being at your side, that's the surest way of getting him to the counselors office. Good luck!!
2007-10-26 05:40:48 · answer #9 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is abusive and controlling. you must leave, for the safety of your child and for your life. he may not have hit you yet, but believe me it's coming, especially if he's raising his fist. get out while you still can. DO NOT fall for his so-called 'nice' behavior. it's a trick to keep you there. he doesn't mean it. you need to leave and don't worry about finding anyone else. you can be by yourself and still be happy. but i promise you, you will never be happy if you stay with him.
2007-10-26 05:44:43 · answer #10 · answered by buk84 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋