When her boyfriend was a drug dealing troublemaker, she became a troublemaker. When her boyfriend was an unintellectual simpleton, she became one too. When her boyfriend was mean, so was she. Her own personality always seem to come out again when her relationships get in trouble and she retreats into the family. How and why does she keep sublimating herself into these relationships? Her friends and interests, and opinions always seem to be tied to her boyfriends. I don't have this problem (I never have a boyfriend anyway) and neither does our youngest sister. My sister is 17.
2007-10-26 05:14:19 · 11 answers · asked by Cybele 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
She just doesn't know who she is yet. She is trying on different persona's and lifestyles and when she either finds one that feels great or finds the courage to figure out who she is for herself she will continue acting like the guy she is with or her friends.
You said that she is only 17, she will come into her own when she grows up a little more.
Gently let her know in between boyfriends that you are happy to have the real her back and maybe with the next guy she can stay herself instead of acting like the guy.
Good luck and seeing what your sister does you will avoid that relationship pitfall for yourself!!!!!!!!!1
2007-10-26 05:22:11 · answer #1 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is probably because she wants attention. Sometimes when people want friends they change so that they can get those friends.
She wants a boyfriend so when she finds someone she likes she changes so he will like her.
I am 16 and I have had 1 boyfriend. I broke up with him because he was changing me. One day I looked back and I saw that alot of the things I was doing were things I didn't want to do.
I know it sucks to see her do this to herself, but if you tell her that you think she is a bad person, she is just going to push herself away from you.
But if she is in serious trouble you need to go to someone.
Good luck!! Special K~*
2007-10-26 05:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey is your sister by any chance a Leo? Sorry it's just that I'm kind of like that as well and I was just wondering. Anyways I think the reason I do it (well I used to do it WAY more, now I just try to be open-minded, like if he likes some band I'll give it a chance, or I'll watch a movie he likes or something) so yeah the reason is because I really want to find that one guy and I want us to just be perfect together. I don't know how being exactly like him would factor into that but somehow to me it used to. Right now I'm just focusing on me and I'm single. I'm hoping when I do get a boyfriend that I will stay true to myself, but I think I will. Also, look at it this way. Our personalities also change or are impacted upon by our friends and authority figures, and even the people we don't particularly like. It's all about our personality getting molded into what it is supposed to be. Anyways I think you should talk to her about it and ask her what her reason for it is. Then you should tell her that she is wonderful for who SHE is and boys will like her the way she already is and don't want her to change accordingly to them. Best of luck to you.
2007-10-26 05:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by Valary 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone does it to some extent or other ... an not just with boy friends.
Any two people who spend time with each other tend to adopt ways of think that are borrowed from the other person. In some cases this also reflect externally and become very evident to others.
What you are observing is relatively common in couple who have been married a long time.
2007-10-26 05:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't know who SHE is yet. So she easily changes to make herself more "likable" to whomever she's in a relationship with. She needs to give the guys a rest, and take some time to discover who she is, and what she enjoys doing. Then she can find someone with compatible tastes instead of morphing into her next catch.
2007-10-26 05:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well youre lucky enough to know who you are. I have a 17 year old sister... THE SAME> Her boyfriend is a jackass who knows it all... and now so is she. She seems to be confident on the outside, almost a tough girl, but I can tell inwards its lacking and thats why she has to try and make up for it acting like someone else.
2007-10-26 05:18:38 · answer #6 · answered by LifeIsPeachy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she obviously doesnt know what she wants or who she is. Trying out different types of people is good, but maybe you should talk to her and tell her she needs to be her own person and not change herself for her boyfriend of the week!
2007-10-26 05:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by lauren 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your sister is suffering from low self-esteem and low self-image. She is not comfortable with herself, and likely does not have a strong sense of who she is. Hopefully, she has a strong support system to get her through this period in her life, and develop some confidence and self-esteem.
2007-10-26 05:19:10 · answer #8 · answered by teenhamodic 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Happens often. There's usually a dominant person in a relationship and you can see who that is in her relationships.
2007-10-26 05:18:20 · answer #9 · answered by jmiller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably doesn't know who she really is.... and she is trying to get her boyfriend to think she is cool or something. I would talk to her... it sounds like she is not picking ANY good boyfriends....
2007-10-26 05:18:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anna J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋