for the MEN not boys?

Question

ok men. with 4 kids my husband and i are losing touch quickly. what i want from yall is to honestly tell me what turns u on? what can i do to add the sparks again? serious answers only. im 28 and hes 32 you would think we've been married for 50 years lol. help!

Answer 1

Sry not a man but....My marriage went thru this and yes I changed it up so I can tell u what worked for me w/ my hubby... I just 1 night literally attacked him, got vry rough, pushing him on to the bed being vry forceful w/ him and since then things have been unbelieveable in the bedroom... He loved the fact that I took control and didn't hold back, he said it was the whole attitude I had that turned him on basically the treat me like ur b*tch attitude, I treated him like 1 he treated me like 1... WOW talk about fun! Good luck 2 u

Answer 2

You my dear need a change of schedule.
Put the little darlings in bed at 8:30 to 9:00 NIGHTLY.
Make time to spend at least a half hour in the same room nightly without other diversions. TALK TO EACH OTHER.

There is no bigger erogenous zone than the head and no better foreplay than conversation.

Go on a date at least twice a month. No dates where you cannot talk , like movies unless you go to dinner and talk first.

Do you notice a trend here? TALK TO THE GUY. Tell him what you want. If you want sparks tell him .

It is too easy to get comfortable with house and kids. Make time for each other and do not forget to talk AND kiss.
You need a routine that provides you couple time opportunity daily. The concept of a weekend away or a vacation is unworkable. It suggests that you need to be away from home to have a life. Learn how to set aside couple time daily.
The sparks will come.

BTW, do you think you can stay married for 50 years without keeping the flame alive? Those people show each other more spark than you know. They do it when no one else is around. Life is a lot more fun without the kids at home.

32 years going on 50............

Answer 3

My wife and I have 3 kids. All marraiges have down time. First thing you need to do is start having a date night at least once a month. With 4 kids I know it's hard to find a babysitter, but if they are at sleepover age, let them and that's one less you need to pay a babysitter for. Every once in a while make that date an overnight stay in a Hotel. Hopefully the sex is still good just not often for you. Sometimes you need to have a quickie here and there. Give the kids something to do that will take a little time and that they can handle without you. Go into another room, lock the door and have some fun. After that your imagination and passion will be gin to take over. You all will have a lot more fun. Enjoy.

Answer 4

Know what you mean. We've been there and done that.
I didn't pursue my wife because I was trying to be respectful to her. I knew she was tired form taking care of the kids, so I tried to make sure she received her much needed rest. We too started to grow apart. I simple sat down with her and explained what I was feeling, and what my concerns were within our relationship. After a few tears, and hugging we knew we had to start including each other more. A few days later I was as tired as I have ever been. After taking a quick shower, and getting to bed. I didn't know it but she had already gotten a sitter. She let me sleep for about 4 or so hours. Then she started to give me a BJ while I slept. When I woke up, she had the whole house laid out. like a little obsticle course, with different activities we had to do to each other for a set period of time. By the time we had gotten back to the bed room. Well you can guess the rest. I was so taken back by her, her planing, and imagination. That was almost 2 years ago. It's still like it was when we first got together.

Sometimes all you need is to be honest and open to what you want and need. You might be surprised your mate may be thinking the same thing.

Answer 5

what countryg... said. I've got 8 years, 5 kids, one on the way, and a 39 yr old husband who has had bypass surgery and is coming up on another. It gets dull, but want to get hubby's attention sleep naked. Mine takes it as an insult if I don't anymore... or try something a little more erotic than usual, like liquifying freash strawberried and using it. They are a natural aphroditiac and I can't think of a sailor that wouldn't enjoy.....get a book on how to make love to your man, they have a great one at spencers. read it and than ask him if this would really work. drives them nuts trying to figure out what your thinking, and have planned. Losing touch, start with sex, or making love, b/c that is the only thing the two of you have that dosen't involve the kids. By the way the last two kids were 'heartattack' babies. nudge,nudge, wink, wink. Most embaressing 911 calls I ever had to make....

Answer 6

I can't help but notice that the majority of the answers here all suggest you get laid.

Whatever happened to taking a weekend away and going to a winery and sipping some wine? A trip to the shore and wander around some of the antique shops or bistros? Maybe a trip to a Barnes and Noble and spend a few hours sipping coffee and looking through books? Dinner somewhere in the evening. I mean granted you're going to horse around. But the fancy nightwear..and the clown that says "be a naughty girl for daddy"...what kind of freak is that?

get away and do things you want to do. As for all you other dopes...there's more to life than an erection. Get real will you? No wonder marriages fail. If screwing is your cure all to everything then life is pretty shallow for you. (Not you my dear....these people here).

Answer 7

What do you do already that doesn't work? If we knew ( if I knew) I'd be able to help you more.

One thing I can suggest, and this may not be your case, but it is my wife's:

My wife is beautiful. She is very uncomfortable with her body (really, she has no reason what so ever to be uncomfortable with it) What would turn me on is if she would forget what she thinks of herself, se herself the way I see her. (she knows how I see her because I tell her at least 20 times a day) if she would put on something sexy for me and really flaunt herself in front of me. I want her to be and act as the sexy person she is. Try this. Just bite the bullet and be a supermodel for him one night.

Now my wife has done this (took a couple drinks, hehe) and it was fun. I wish she would do it more often though.

EDIT: "i also like it when my partner is hot and acts like it too!" <---- See Camilo said it too!

Answer 8

WOW, I know that feeling well!! 1st get someone to watch the kids, and plan a weekend together, take a car trip, (feww hundred miles), this will give ya time to talk(captive aduiance). Prefferably freeway driving so theres not alot of distractions! Start the frisky actions as you near your desination!! Let him know what you have in mind!! Reach your destination, and let the game begin, in the loby of the motel, at the dinner, every place you go, be very assertive!! I'm sure that he will be glad to be the center of your attention!! Call 1 time to check on the kido's(not every 15 minutes, and let the party begin!! It sure worked for us!! GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

I think it's great that you are willing to work on your relationship. Not everyone is. Hopefully he is interested also.

After 4 kids, you should have an idea of what he likes. Schedule a regular date nite. Doesn't have to be extravagant or expensive, just time for the two of you to connect and remember who each other is. Schedule this time together and find someone you trust to watch your children. Without alone time together, how can you expect things to stay strong?

Answer 10

You take more times whith your 4 kids, your are loosing your husband love because all the time you are occupied with your kids. try to take more time with your husband alone in the night with a news look of your body and your room. Remumber the sexual life is very importante in his life. change the positions . Good luck.