Last night he told me a divorce would be a blessing.Than he said if I was gone for days on end he would not even care.It broke my heart and I told him I was going to sleep in my car.I could not bare the pain on being in the same house or him getting more ugly.It was 30 degrees last night I sleeped in my car at Walmart.hunched in a fetal position.He knew where I was and never even came and checked on me.
This morning I came home he was not at work said he was sick.Remember he hides doing meth from me.He took my china cabinet threw it in the floor and kicked apart.That was a wedding present from my family.Scared to death I attempted to call 911.He pushed me out of the way and tore the phone cord out of the wall.Smart me I knew where another one was.Called the pollice and he is in Jail for keeping me from not being able to make and emergency call.I am divorcing him and getting a TPO.He is already not allowed on this property or anyone that would harrass me.
So did I do the right thing
2007-10-26 04:24:39 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Isn't it a TRO...Temporary Restraining Order? Anyway, yes, you did the right thing. What a psycho.
2007-10-26 04:34:58 · answer #1 · answered by Don 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe everyone is so enthusiastic about putting someone in jail. There is never just a black and white in matters such as this. Yes, it is good that you got away from him. He seriously has a horrifying problem if he's on hard core drugs.
However, if he's never had a record before and he's never physically hurt you, I wonder if you should have gone over to your mother, sister, brother, friend's house until he was off his high and more rational. Then, have a couple of strong friends go over with you to get your things and move out.
There are a lot of people that go to jail today, but that is a very serious thing. I mean, could you picture yourself spending a night in jail? There are extremely dangerous people in jail. Also, you might have been very sensitive and emotional in the situation because you just spent the night in a car in a parking lot (instead of with a friend or family – perhaps you were hoping your husband would feel sorry for you and come) and were probably resentful as well.
You must have felt a little bad about the way it turned out because obviously you are asking if what you did was right. Only you can honestly answer yourself.
In addition, what happened is already over, so you can't feel depressed or ashamed for it. You did what you thought was the best at the time. Unfortunately, you were also very upset and sensitive at the time you were thinking this. You definitely did what a lot of women would have done in a similar circumstance.
Whatever happened, the important thing is that you do protect yourself. Just don't make your husband out to be more of a monster in your head than the reality. That wouldn't be healthy for you in the end either. Also, you will always have feelings for him whether they are good or bad because you've lived together for a number of years, but PLEASE DO NOT let him into your life if he continues to abuse drugs and (verbally or otherwise abuse you). And he shouldn't be allowed any contact even after he recovers fully until you are ready as well.
Now, I don't mean to be compassionless, and I do feel very sorry for you. However, I'm just surprised at the responses on this forum.
Take care of yourself. Have some friends or family support you.
2007-10-26 06:52:01 · answer #2 · answered by DK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I was in an abusive relationship one time and my decision making capabilities were distorted also. Your county may have an abused women's shelter....I called and talked to the director there...even though I did not need to go...I needed some guidance for free to make certain what I was doing was right. It is a hard time for you right now because you have been beaten down and rearranged a bit from the whole abuse process. What I learned to do was think like this....what if this were happening to my mother or grandmother, what would I think about their situation....what would I like to see them do. When I thought like that, for some reason everything came in to focus better. This guy sounds like he has some pretty serious issues. Think about it this way....if you mother slept in the car at Walmart and her husband didn't care enough to go get her, if her husband had thrown an item and broken it that he knew meant a great deal to her and then told her that he wouldn't care if she were missing for days....what would you think of this man. He wouldn't be worthy of her....he would sound unstable and not safe for her to be around. You are worth more than that also. Life can be so very good to stay in a situation that is so very bad like this. It will be better for you soon, you are on the right path.
2007-10-26 04:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by Rein 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say, you did the right thing. With meth in his system it's the only thing that he's concerned about. Unfortunately if he had the choice between meth and his next breath of air it would be meth. It's sad, the drug has completely taken over his values, and his soul. It's best for you to move on. Count your blessings and eventually find a man that is able to love he's already lost that ability other than to love meth. (p.s., don't accept the collect calls from jail either, all it will do is prolong the agony and all he'll do is promise things that he can't deliver.)
2007-10-26 04:33:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes of course you did the right thing. If you didn't stop it now the next time that china cabinet could be your face. Why are questioning yourself? You did a good thing and probably saved your life at the same time.
2007-10-26 11:08:54 · answer #5 · answered by joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't control his temper and that is bad. You did the right thing. He has to be made to know that his behavior will not be tolerated. A real man never bullies or terrifies or hits a woman or anyone weaker than themselves. A TPO is a good idea too.
2007-10-26 04:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by EMT Pete 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's on meth. Your husband is incapable of rational thinking and may seriously hurt or even kill you. A TRO means nothing to him. Get as far away from him as you can. Move out of state if you can...across the country is even better.
2007-10-26 04:35:30 · answer #7 · answered by Bald Eagle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you did the right thing. He said some things to hurt you & pushed you. That's verbal & physical abuse. If your not in love with this man anymore, then I would suggest a divorce. Why would you want to stay with a drug addict who doesn't care about you?
2007-10-26 04:29:23 · answer #8 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe there are two sides to every story, however if all you say is true.....then you absolutely did the right thing.
Now you have to stick to your guns and not take him back. You can't change him, once an abuser always an abuser.
Be safe.
2007-10-26 04:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by Truce 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you did the right thing. If he is on drugs, you need to take care of yourself and protect yourself from him, plus it might make him hit his bottom and get help if he is not able to continue living with you.
2007-10-26 04:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋