Please help. My husband just expressed his feelings on 3-somes. I knew this was a fantasy of his but was never brought up this way. He expressed how he feels about what he calls a "hot lesbian" that comes into his work. He just found out that she is a lesbian and wants her to "interact with us". I just had a baby 3 months ago. So I have a lot of stretch marks and excess skin on my tummy. I have been working out, and now at a weight of 140. Lost 40 pounds. My husband made the comment on how goregeous this lesbian is and how great of a body she has. And how he has been looking at her. I feel it is wrong to bring something like that into a marriage and a new family. But I didnt shoot him down right away. I kinda fished. I said to him I dont feel comfortable because I just had a baby and Im not in the best of shape to compete with her body. His response, lets find someone who has a body like yours so you can feel comfotable then. I dont want to do this, I think its wrong. Help?
2007-10-26 04:20:32 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He did say he was open to another guy in the 3 some. But would prefer another girl. This is eating me up inside. We havent been on the best of terms lately, arguing alot. And he doesnt seem to enjoy being with his new daughter. I dont want to divorce, I dont belive in broken homes, and I desperatley want a good enviroment for my daughter. We have tried talking about issues, writing letters, but all he hears is nag nag nag and puts up a wall. So i hold my feelings in now and still being strong enough to care for my daughter. No doubt about that, she is my world and she gets everything she needs from me. Im trying so hard to keep things mended between my husband and I. He first started watching porn behind my back, even after he promised me he wouldnt. i catch him all the time, after I have come on to him and rejected. He thinks Im sleeping when he does this late at night. But I havent had a good night of sleep in a long time. Forgive me if this is long, I havent done this before.
2007-10-26 05:07:31 · update #1
You said yes in his head.
Simply say you want to see a man stick it up his A$s, he will stop asking.
2007-10-26 04:26:03 · answer #1 · answered by Opps 5 · 13⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS ALL NORMAL. Don't panic yet. Is he acting attracted to you and wanting to have sex with you? If it's only coming from your end (and this is your first baby), you are feeling completely normal. Your all mixed up with the new baby and your marriage has taken the back seat. If I were you, I would definitely tell him how your feeling and ask him how he is feeling about your alls relationship. I would also try to get a babysitter, if possible, one night a week so you can go to dinner, alone, and re-light that spark that brought you together in the first place!! Babies can make or break people I've heard, and if you really love each other then you can get through this and these feelings will pass the more time goes on! Good luck girl!
2016-04-10 07:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christina you've answered your own question by stating that you don't want to do this and are not comfortable with it. Nobody should be coerised into doing anything that they don't want to do. Besides you may end up enjoying this experience and give the old man a kick to the curb and then he would be very sorry for making such a request. Besides how in the hell would he handle it if you said that you would like a threesome with some hot deliever guy or some handsome man you had seen. I'm betting he wouldn't be as open as he is the other way around. Talk it over with your husband in a mature and open minded manner, without getting too emotional or blowing up. Let him know how it makes you feel when he discusses this and that you are not at all comfortable at this time with going through with this threesome. Best of luck and congrats on the birth of your little bundle of joy.
2007-10-26 04:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, your husband is not thinking about you at all or even his daughter he is thinking of one thing only and he is thinking of getting off. I think that he is an insensitive jerk and he should not be so worried about having a 3some with some hot Lesbo...I think he should not be watching porn all night and when you come on to him he should be happy. I do not know what his problem is but I know there is some kind of problem. I think you really need to talk to him but like you said he sees it as nagging and that is not good either. I hope you are able to fix this but I do not see it and I know you do not want your daughter to have a broken home but your husband is a jerk and should learn how to treat the mother of his daughter aka his wife. I think you need to tell him you think a 3some is wrong though and you do not want to do it.
2007-10-28 16:20:59 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong, you just had a baby, enjoy that new life! Your husband is being a pig, like many are and if you don't say know one of these days he's gonna be life "honey Im home and by the way this is our sex partner for the night"! It's totally ok to say no to this, when I was in my first marriage my husband talked me into this and I though it would be no big deal because neither of us had any feeling towards the other girl and bla bla bla. Let me tell you....when you see your husband with another woman IT IS A BIG DEAL!! This destroyed our marriage, bit by bit. I know some people can do it and be fine but not me. Good luck and stand your ground girl!!
2007-10-26 04:26:20 · answer #5 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
NO!!! Girl, my prayers and thoughts go out to you....Your husband is a jerk! Talk to him (without nagging) and firmly tell him no...Be honest with him, telling what you really feel. Get outside help, find some counseling.
Do you go to Church? This would be a good time to start. Find a good Bible teaching / believing church. You can find help with Jesus......
He needs to understand that it is a very big thing for a woman to have a baby, and how very much YOU sacrificed for Him and your beautiful baby !!!! Any woman that just had a baby IS VERY Beautiful ! He needs to learn to appreciate what a wonderful woman he has, and plus now he has a beautiful daughter.....
2007-10-26 18:14:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it!!! It will ruin the marriage... It doesn't matter if it is with another man or woman!! Can you really handle your man having s*x with someone else?? You seem like a great wife and mother. Don't let your horny husband talk you into anything!! You are so above that!! He needs to respect you and if he can't even do that then leave!! It took me long time to realize i needed to leave my boyfriend but their are 2 many men out there to be putting up with any mans sh*t!! Good luck keep your head up!
2007-10-26 06:37:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a few things wrong the number 1 thing being, IT IS ADULTERY FOR THE BOTH OF YOU 2 INDULGE IN A THREESOME. But the main thing I see wrong is he actually wants to have sex with this sexy lesbian as he puts it. The only way he can safely do that is to talk you into a HOMOSEXUAL SITUATION WITH THIS WOMAN,so when he slips his penis in well you were there to. I would not tell him I just had your baby, I would tell him if another person enters the marriage sexually he doesn't want to be married to me. You have to stand up for your principals even if it means he will be angry.. He should be letting you enjoy the baby not trying to get in shape so you can feel good to share his bed with another woman. Every fantasy CAN NOT BE ACTED ON. DO NOT LET HIM TALK YOU INTO THIS. LOVE DOES NOT HAVE THESE KIND OF CONDITIONS ATTACHED........
2007-10-26 04:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just honestly talk to him, Tell him you do NOT want a threesome - now or never-
Tell him when you two got married it was to each other, not to include others. That you value your marriage and being faithful.
I am a very strong believer in faithfulness, if he can't deal with that, then he needs to hit the road. Because I can almost guarantee it if you say no to this threesome, he will look "elsewhere" to fulfill this fantasy he has. If you agree to do this, your going to end up resenting him for it, and your marriage will crumble.
Good luck in whatever you decide,.
2007-10-26 04:29:32 · answer #9 · answered by linda_c_44 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your husband no flat out. Remind him that you made vows to be faithful to one another, and that doesn't mean bringing others into your bed. Then have a heart to heart about why he feels he needs to bring other women into the bed with you. If he claims he just wants to spice things up, suggest other ideas, like role playing, or toys, things that you may be more comfortable with, but will still bring a new excitement into the bedroom.
2007-10-26 04:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by kansas_cookies_86 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's next? Sex with the baby? Your husband is a creep. If he can't get over fulfilling his fantasy, run, don't walk, away from this relationship.
Update: "I dont want to divorce, I dont belive in broken homes, and I desperatley want a good enviroment for my daughter."
(A) Divorce is not a dirty word. It was created for situations like this. (B) Your home is already broken. (C) Your daughter is in the absolutely worst possible environment RIGHT NOW.
You both deserve better. This guy has no love for you or your daughter. If you give in to him there will be no end to it. RUN, GIRL, RUN while you still have your self respect! So much blood has rushed from this pig's brain to his penis that he is incapable of rational behavior.
2007-10-26 04:26:17 · answer #11 · answered by Bald Eagle 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋