A couple of months ago my best friend found out about me having sex with her boyfriend. She cut our friendship off and they decided to stay together and try to work things out. Unfortunately for her he decided recently that he didn't want to be in a relationship and they broke-up. She called me last night and wants to be friends with me again. I don't think I should because she was a bad friend to choose him over me in the first place and she got what she deserved. If I become friends with her again how can I trust that she won't choose a guy over me again?
My other friends say I'm wrong but I really don't think I am! Shouldn't she have to prove her friendship to me before I become friends with her again?
2007-10-26 04:16:48 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I 100% agree that she should have to prove herself to you that she is friend worthy again! How awful that she chose a guy over you...and you are right what's to stop her from doing it again??? I would make sure she proves first that she can be a loyal friend before you can trust her again! Best friends are supposed to share everything right? She had ABSOLUTELY no right to get dump you as a friend for sleeping with her boyfriend! Boo on her! Be very careful around this girl or you may get the short end of the stick again!
2007-10-26 09:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Jane 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
There is something that you aren't telling us, because what reason (if she was your REAL friend) did you have to sleep with her boyfriend and think that you didn't do anything wrong? Did she do something to you and you felt like you had to get back at her? If not, you're the type of woman that people should run away from because you have no consideration for others what so ever (That's the nicest way I could put it). Your friend is right, and if they read this, get away from her as fast as you can! What I haven't figured out is why did she call you? I would rather make a new friend then deal with a fake, triffling person like you.
2007-10-26 04:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are so wrong on so many counts. You don't get that what you did was morally wrong. You are so self-absorbed you can't see things from the other's perspective. You have no sense of responsibility to make amends for the harm you cause. You have a very twisted view of how relationships are supposed to work.
Your friend did not choose a guy over you. She did what she had to do to protect that relationship from an evil attack by you. You are the bad guy. Do you get that? What goes on in her relationship with her boyfriend and what goes on in her relationship with you are never justifications for you to behave wrongly.
Your friend has some issues, too. She is so needy for companionship she wants to let you back in her life. You dare to suggest she has to prove her trust to you? That's terrible. If you value her friendship, you should be on your knees begging her forgiveness. She would be wise to tell you to take a hike. You are poison. All you know how to do is please yourself at all cost and hurt others - and you don't seem to care!
There is hope. Once you can honestly recognize these things about yourself without denial, you will be in a position to seek help. You should seek counseling to help you become more selfless and more interested in living a life that contributes to the benefit of others. Until then, I would warn every man and woman to steer clear of you.
2007-10-26 04:39:19 · answer #3 · answered by s408c 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think that YOU are the bad friend for having sex with her boyfriend!! Man! You've got some nerve!!
You're lucky she's that forgiving and still wants to be friends with you after what YOU did to her.
Yeah it was stupid on her part to choose the guy over you, but if I was in your friend's shoes- I'd say f^(k the BOTH of you!! You and her boyfriend were BOTH wrong to sleep together.
If you accept her back as a friend it's only a matter of time before you stab her in the back again and she finally realizes that you are NOT a friend after all and she'll be done with you forever.
2007-10-26 04:25:20 · answer #4 · answered by sugar sweet 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Rather than you talking bad about her, you should be wanting her as a friend!! She is the one willing to give you a second chance after you slept with her boyfriend!! That is someone who is very strong. You crossed the lines way before she did.
(And her choosing him first is not that bad. If I were her, I would have dumped both of you).
She has nothing to prove to you. Her taking the steps she is taking if proof enough that she is solid and someone you probably want in your corner.
I think you should be happy she doesn't think you should be proving that she should trust you again.
You need to open up your view and stop seeing things from only your side and stop believing you are the only one who was wronged in this situation.
2007-10-26 04:24:11 · answer #5 · answered by tinyavenger 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Listen, I can't believe you are considering being her friend again. Next time she trys to hang out, tell her you are too busy hanging out with your man.
OK if for some reason you are still considering hanging out with her, make sure she proves her friendship. I would do this with a fear factor style obstical course. This could include eating something with your pee in it or licking your shoes clean. After that, you can put everything behind you.
2007-10-26 12:08:15 · answer #6 · answered by Caroline 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do the girl a favor. Don't pretend to be her friend again. She didn't choose her boyfriend over you. You chose her boyfriend over your friendship with her. Most people understand that there are certain boundaries you don't cross. You don't sleep with a friend's boyfriend, a sister's boyfriend, or your mom's boyfriend. Until you learn that such behavior is unacceptable, you will not have long term good friends that you can count on for the rest of your life.
2007-10-26 04:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by MARSHA G 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
She should not have to prove anything to you. You are the one that slept with her boyfriend. She did the right thing by cutting you loose as a friend. You should apologize to her and try to be the best friend that you can be to her. If you want to be her friend do not step out of bounds by sleeping with her boyfriend. You do not need to worry about trusting her because you need to prove to her you are trustworthy.
2007-10-26 04:24:11 · answer #8 · answered by Sabrina T 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Prove HER friendship? I'm sorry but if I was your friend I wouldn't have ever taken you back as a friend. YOU HAD SEX WITH HER BOYFRIEND!~ Holy crap, you were the one that broke her trust. You should be gaining back HER trust, not the other way around. You cheated with her boyfriend and you act like it was her fault that ya'll aren't friends. That's absolutely ridiculous.
2007-10-26 04:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by D-Man 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You're blaming her? Wow. You had sex with her boyfriend. Did you really expect her to continue to be her friend. It's you that should have to prove your friendship to her. She did nothing wrong, except maybe ask to be your friend again.
2007-10-26 04:38:07 · answer #10 · answered by JB 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋