My in-laws like to go to a nice restaurant the night before Thanksgiving. They do this instead of having Thanksgiving. We went last year and it was a total disaster.
Me & my family tipped our server for our bill/our family. After my in-laws saw the tip I left they refused to leave any more "because you left enough for everybody". I was appalled at their behavior. I tried to calmly explain that tips are what makes a server's salary and they were responsible to tip about 20% of their own bills. It turned into a huge fight.
We have refused to go to dinner with them this Thanksgiving and they are furious at me. What would you do?
2007-10-26 03:44:43 · 12 answers · asked by YesIDid 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Our server gave everyone at our table excellent service. No one had to ask for more beverages, she was very quick to handle requests and was fun & polite. She was a pro.
2007-10-26 03:49:37 · update #1
Jimeny, are we related??!! LOL I feel you here. I would stand my ground on my opinions and beliefs and would try to explain that everyone has different views on tipping and what's "right or wrong" when it comes to that subject. It sounds to me like they are posers who want to pretend like they have money to go to nice places, but really they are tight wads who are too lazy to cook at their own home.
I wouldn't sweat it, it's their loss. They are the ones who are acting immature and irrational, you have the right to not want to be a part of their schenanigans.
I went through something sort of similar with my in-laws a few weeks ago, however no one saw the money I left. There were 11 of us and my mother in law thought that $5.00 was enough, I stuck $30.00 under my plate for the server as my in-laws are attrocious customers.
2007-10-26 03:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by watchinthemoon07 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Assuming you can afford it and want to avoid the situation all together, just pre-tip the waiter generously (especially since it is a holiday). It will put a smile on their face and perhaps improve the service to the point that the McScrooge-in-laws decide to over-tip themselves this year and kick-off the holiday season with a BANG!!!!
Another alternative is request that they pay the tip this year. Then forget something at the table when you leave [I usually use my sunglasses] and simply add to it.
It is not worth fighting during the holidays...just let them pay what they feel appropriate and supplement it when no one is looking. Pick your battles and trust me this one is not worthy of a fight.
I go through this all the time!!!!!!
2007-10-26 03:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by shaffner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TIPS stands for "To Insure Prompt Service"(it's history a little long winded, so I won't). Today it's deemed a necessary cost of dining out, due to some precieved(many times justified),
idea about low salaries of waiting staffs!
Okay...now your problem...your dealing with %,your in-laws are dealing with whole amounts,not %'s. Your tip was from you, as YOUR Tip for your part of the bill. The in-laws saw the amount as enough to cover the WHOLE tip and decide any more was not justified!
Don't go to this year's dinner, unless these in-laws are NOT going to be there!
2007-10-26 04:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by THE Cupid HATER 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They sound like cheap-skates. Our family will have someone leave a tip if they are covered by someone else for their meal. However, if it was all seperate bills...then they should have tipped according to their bill and not the TOTAL bill.
I don't blame you for not wanting to have Thanksgiving with them, who cares if they are mad. They can get over it.
2007-10-26 03:47:49 · answer #4 · answered by Aundrea 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
good for you! screw them they're ignorant, selfish, and self serving, stingy, and non caring individuals. i worked in the hospitality business for over 20 yrs. and know about 98% of people are appreciative of good service and how hard we work so i really didn't let the lowly 2% get to me! what's wrong with your in laws it's thanksgiving and they're suppose to be thankful, wow i can't imagine what they are like at Christmas or any other time of year for that matter, feel free to show my comments to them, maybe they will see the light but i doubt it people like that never do.
2007-10-26 04:04:08 · answer #5 · answered by chalmer c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would have dinner at home and let them do as they please, i think we have the same in laws. if the service was to your liking, leave all the tip you want, if you do go out with them again, don't leave a tip til after they have left the table, or give it personally to your server.
2007-10-26 03:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by barb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would do exactly as you are doing only it is your husband who should be dealing with them so they are mad at him not you. I wouldn't speak with them about it as the daughter in law; nor would I have entered into an argument about tipping since they obviously have no sense of propriety and you cannot teach them that now at their age. AND it is sick that they INVITE you to dinner and then YOU pay for yourselves. That is not an invitation so you should not feel guilty about declining a NON INVITATION
2007-10-26 03:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by barthebear 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can't legislate decency or common sense, but you can decide who you want to spend time with. You made the right choice. Let them do their thing and you do yours.
2007-10-26 03:51:51 · answer #8 · answered by oklatom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call him a Cheap %%%%% and refuse to go to dinner
with them
2007-10-26 03:47:46 · answer #9 · answered by Fuzzybutt 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Stand by your beliefs. It's their loss, cheapskates.
2007-10-26 03:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by Dianne m 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋