My parents (who live on a fixed income) have always given a gift or sent money in a card to my husband for his birthday, but my husband's parents have never acknowledged mine.
The drama capital of the world is wherever my in-laws are, so the lack of this acknowledgment truly doesn't bother me. Even my husband would prefer to be around my family than his own.
I'm wondering why there is such a disparity. We have lived with, nearby and far away (1,600 miles) from both sets of our parents since we married, so physical distance is not a factor. My in-laws were thrilled when I married their son because his first wife was such a "manipulative flake." I'm told that I am much more stable, level-headed and reliable, and they could see that my husband and I made each other happy. His family celebrates the birthdays of my husband, his sisters (but not his sisters' spouses) and all the grandchildren.
Why do you think this is? Is it the same way with your in-laws?
2007-10-26 03:42:01 · 22 answers · asked by DJ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Since it is that way for all the kids spouses, I guess that is just how they do things. Maybe they do their kids bc it is their kids and the grandkids bc its the grandkids but figure that once you start doing the spouses, you got to do everyone ( cousins, aunts, etc.) I dunno, maybe. It sounds harmless though and just the way they do things.
2007-10-26 06:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, I don't think it's because they don't love you. Different families grow up with different values and perspectives all based on how THEY were raised. Your family obviously believes that when you marry into the family, you are just like everyone else....a family member, and they honor birthdays of family members. His family, however, may not see you as equally a family members as their son and that's a shame but that's just how some people see things. I'm proud that my own family thinks of my husband as family and sent birthday cards and some even sent gifts. My b'day is the same for his family. They do cards, gifts, etc. This year, my MIL is even flying out to see us and celebrate my bday!
2007-10-26 03:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My in laws don't get me anything either, but I think that's just because they don't know it's my birthday. The only reason my family gets my husband anything is because I make it a point to mention his B-day is coming up. Otherwise, I doubt they would remember. My husband's a good man, but my b-day is 2 days before x-mas, and at that time of year, I don't expect anyone to do anything. I doubt my in-laws could even tell you what my b-day is if asked. I don't think my husband has ever told them. So, I can't blame them for a lack of knowledge. I don't know about your situation, but no, they don't get me a gift.
2007-10-26 04:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DJ, my in-laws have passed away and I never had the opportunity to meet them. However, I have a daughter-in-law, who is the daughter I never had, and do celebrate her birthday. When I was a child, many years ago, all birthdays were celebrated within the family. Grandparents, aunts, parents and all us kids. So today we continue this tradition. Although the adults don't do as well as the kids, regardless their birthday's are acknowledged. My daughter in law always tells me that she finds it easier to talk with me then with her real dad, we have an excellent and very open relationship. Perhaps you should speak with your husband and have him speak with his parents about why they don't include their daughter and son in laws. They may feel that it is your folks responsibility and not have the tradition of celebrating non-blood relatives. But that is how traditions are born, they have to begin somewhere so perhaps you can be the one that is responsible for creating this within your family. Best of luck.
2007-10-26 03:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My inlaws never acknowledge my birthday. I dont even get a happy birthday from them. My parents always treat my spouse as their own and get him what they would get their own children. Yes it does hurt my feelings they dont even get me a card or even act like I have birthdays. They are great people just very thoughtless. But yet Im the one who does the bday shopping for all of my inlaws. I have 5 sis in laws, and not a single one gets me a birthday card, but yet I get them things. To me they are cheap skates, and I cant say it doesnt bother me because it does. It has only made me very cost concious on what I choose to purchase them. I think quite frankly that they just are cheap and dont want to spend any more money than they have too. A card is what 99 cents? My bday is comming up and I know a month later my mother in law will play dumb and say oh didnt you have a bday? I dont know why it is, and as stated before I think when your inlaws dont recognize your bday its because they are CHEAP!
2007-10-27 16:37:33 · answer #5 · answered by moonapaloona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother in law does not acknowledge my birthday with even a text. She has been to my house the day after my birthday and seen the cards and homemade gifts from my kids and still says nothing. After 14 years of letting it bother me, I have to let it go....my big problem is that I always acknowledge hers with a gift, card, etc Even had a surprise 60th for her 7 years ago and for her 65th coordinated a special party with family and friends....I need to be done with this, it will have to be my husband s responsibility and if he doesn t, it is on him.
2015-08-17 01:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same situation....my parents always send a card and gift for my husband, but my in-laws never remember my B-day. I used to let it bother me, but now, after 17+ years of marriage, I don't care anymore. I have learned to not sweat the small stuff.
2007-10-26 03:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mother in law watches my son while we are at work, every year on my b-day she and my son bake a cake for me and when i come they yell happy b-day and sing. it's nice! my parents also get my husband something. same with christmas and anniversary's ,we have a very close family. i think your in laws should acknowledge your b-day, but since they dont acknowledge theif son in law either, i wouldnt take it personally at all. but it is just good manners, i even acknowledge my friends and there childrens b-day, it is the polite and right thing to do. it doesnt seem like your in laws have much class.
2007-10-26 03:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by kisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my in laws does not acknowledge my birthday, but i do not think i care because it is not such a big deal to me.
but like for christmas, they have always given a gift and not a gift that is for my husband and I, but my own personal gift. so i guess that is special.
2007-10-26 03:51:41 · answer #9 · answered by karMA_DAME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. My husband's family gave me a nice little 'gift basket' on my birthday right after I had our daughter because they knew I was having post partum issues. Also, my mom has taken my husband out to eat for his birthday (a typical tradition in my family).
2007-10-26 03:45:43 · answer #10 · answered by hootie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My in-laws forgot mine the 1st year we were married and felt really guilty so now they always send me something. They do a little more for my husband's. They usually come down to visit.
My parents send a card for both mine and my husband's.
2007-10-26 05:44:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋