My husband and I argue ALL THE TIME and I'm so tired of it!! The other day he snaps at me when I ask him when he's coming in to bed from working on his car, then the next morning before he goes to work he wakes me up trying to be intimate...what?! I think not. The day after that I was uploading music to my iPod when he decides that he is ready to go to bed and I told him that I would be done in like 15 minutes. Well 14 minutes go by and the door to our bedroom slams shut...all he said was that my iPod must be more important than he is! I don't understand what the deal is and him being such a jerk. The list goes on and on about his tantrums and fits. He's 24 and I know that he is still maturing, but we've been together for 5 years now and things are CRAZY! Last night he tells me that he's feeling depressed and that whenever I'm gone in the evening he thinks I'm having an affair. I go to the gym 3 days a week for an hour...please tell me how that is an affair?!
2007-10-26 03:06:53 · 17 answers · asked by r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How do I get him to get over himself and us say our 'sorries'?
2007-10-26 03:07:27 · update #1
He actually was in the marines for 5 years and now is in another part of the military...he's a great guy, but man he acts reallly childish at times.
2007-10-26 03:23:58 · update #2
iPod, gym....do you also get migranes right before bed or have your period 4 times a month?
Be a wife and put out or let go of him. Just like you have your needs, he has his. He will eventually grow tired of your rejection and ice queen attitude and find it elsewhere and then you will cry wondering "why".
Good luck
2007-10-26 04:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is no joke. you guys need to go see a marriage councelor. I know you don't want to hear that but it is true. You can try a relationship work book bought from Barnes and noble. Some of those are pretty good. They will teach you both about each other, and allow you to trust and enjoy each other. You are both young. When people talk about a relationship requiring effort and commitment, this is what they are talking about. Communication has many levels. You MUST deepen those levels or you stand a chance of not making it. There is work involved. Set aside a time each week just for working on your relationship. You will be amazed at how much better you guys do!
2007-10-26 10:19:54 · answer #2 · answered by Dave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u and ur husband have probably not been married very long and the gloss has just worn off. u need to sit urself down and decide whether u want this to be the pattern of ur relationship. then if u decide that u want to change start with urself. make time to be together coz it seems u each spend a lot of time doing ur own thing. cd he come to the gym with u? cd u sometimes hand him a spanner. there must be thousands of things u can do tog. as a woman u know that sex begins when we get out of bed first thing in the morning. for men it begins last thing at night when he jumps into bed. change this by ensuring u spend time tog, working, playing, being in each other's presence. then u will find that when u finally get into bed there are no issues to process, just deep down love.
2007-10-26 10:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by kiki68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uuugh! Too much energy wasted for the wrong reasons... I'd hate having to "tip-toe" around my husband; we just let each other do our own things and then spend the rest of the time together, enjoying one another. Why do you guys waste precious time fighting over such unimportant stuff? Tell your husband not to take things so personally (and you shouldn't either). So what if he tried to have sex with you early in the morning...are you on a schedule, or what? And he needs to work on his insecurities and grow up already or you'll be growing apart, soon. If you find it in yourself to be patient and understanding, maybe in about 10 more years he'll be the real man you need to have by your side.
2007-10-26 10:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why, so you don't have to get over YOURself?
Anyone who holds out an iPod upload as an excuse not to be intimate (those of us who own one all know they don't need to be watched and babysat when they upload music & videos) and who withholds sex as a form of emotional punishment has ZERO room to talk about someone else being "immature."
You're both a couple of candy-a$ses.
Get outside your ingrown toenail of a little world - geezus you spend so much time examining and picking over every tiny little word and action you don't have time to grow the hell up.
Do something for others where there is no benefit to you, like Habitat for Humanity. Stop obsessing on him, since it ALWAYS relates to YOU. Which is really all you two think about - your darling wonderful precious princess selves.
Give, and expect nothing in return for once. You might see the world differently.
2007-10-26 10:30:07 · answer #5 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is sounding a little insecure. But I know what you mean by tantrums...you basically tell him to suck it up and get over it. This is funny but true...my husband pitched a fix when we ran out of salt and he didn't have any for his eggs in the morning...he refused to eat the breakfast I made him because of this. After I through the eggs at him I walked out. Came home and told him I didn't marry a 2 year old so grow up. Sometimes it seems like when they need a little extra attention is comes out all wrong. Ask him what is really bothering him and fix it.
2007-10-26 10:15:53 · answer #6 · answered by Truth Hurts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it appears that you and him are in a score keeping circle...one does something, the other reacts, then one does the same thing, the other reacts, so on and so on...this type of married behavior can go on for years...but this can really be worked out; 1. Stop keeping score on who does what...2. Stop reacting to what the other does...but talk to them about it..fits and door slamming, just add to the problem...3. Set some couple rules...ex. we will go to bed together..period..stop whatever the other is doing...4. Everything you two do is for yourself...do something together...other than sex....Good luck
2007-10-26 10:25:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Soiunds like you guys just need to be more adventurous in the bedroom, play more, dress and do things you dont normaly do, take breathers also, invite him to the gym, ask him to help with your ipod and if he does well touch him let him know he is loved, when he is fixing his car, stand or lay by him and just watch etc. and just keep communication on for the bedroom,likes,disslikes, fantasies,role play etc.
2007-10-26 10:13:21 · answer #8 · answered by 12121212 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be drifting apart and having communication problems of some sort.
Little things add up and soon become a mountain...about that point, neither of you know what's wrong --
Why not take some time to calmly discuss your issues and tell each other how you're feeling?
2007-10-26 10:34:22 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Twenty four and he's still 'maturing'.
Sort of a late bloomer, isn't he? Christ...by that age I had already done a tour in the Marines.
Maybe that's what he needs. Although..the Marines look for men. He may not qualify.
2007-10-26 10:18:06 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋