what would you do?

Question

if you ladies married a husband whom was a virgin, never had a kiss or any female interaction. he is 100% straight but he is nervous about having sex, he doesnt tell you that and whenever anything sexual comes up he tries to change the subject. what would be your honest reaction and what would you honestly do? would you think about searching else where for sex? would it be wrong to?

Answer 1

My god, anyone lucky enough to get a virgin and not welling to teach him and show him what you like,man what a dream.
To go out and cheat on someone like that, you don't deserve him.

Answer 2

Okay, assuming this is you and you married this man, I'm also going to assume you love him (You did after all marry him)

Thinking about searching else where for sex is not wrong, SEARCHING for sex else where IS! It's cheating....have you ever heard anyone say that cheating is right??
Cheating is lying, is lying right?
Ethics and morality lesson 101.

So lets leave that and go back to love...
Why not communicate with him, after all, you married him.
He's nervous and shy, that's alright, and understandable. There are many ways to approach the topic, I personally always choose the direct and honest route (not blunt and tactless but direct and honest)
I'd say something like; "Ok there's something i need to talk to you about...I know this is hard for you becasue I can see it makes you nervous, but you are my husband and I love you very much. I want to share everything with you, including pleasures of the flesh, I want to make love to you and learn about your body, while you learn about mine. I may not be the best teacher but I am willing to learn and I just need to klnow that you, as my husband are with me, for better or worse, because I love you and I want to feel that you love me too"

Reassure him that you can take it slowly and keep telling him that you appreciate him making the effort.

If you still can't get around it, maybe councilling could help but don't cheat, it will ruin anything you have and lower your self esteem!

Best of luck!!

Answer 3

He obviously has a problem and you, his wife are the only one that can solve the problem. You also can only solve the problem if you love eachother.

It seems like there is no communication! What do you mean he changes the subject? Then you change the subject too? That's ridiculous. How can you be that distant from your spouse?

You have to confront him about sex and find out why he doesn't want to have sex. You have to know everything about your husband, especially why you're not having sex. You have to ask alot of questions. You have to tell him how you feel and tell him that you want to have sex. It's part of marriage. Tell him that this is a problem and you want to fix it, not brush it under the rug. Ask him what do you have to do to fix it? COMMUNICATE!

If you could ask if you should think about having sex somewhere else, then something is wrong with the way you feel for him. Do you truly love him? If so, how can you think cheating is the way to go? That's just running away from a problem and creating a bigger one.

This is your husband and you should know that man inside and out, mentally, emotionally and PHYSICALLY with alot of love and respect. Now go solve the problem. It could be so fun. Good Luck

Answer 4

You should never marry anyone you cannot talk to about everything. A healthy sexual life is important to any relationship. A good woman who loved her husband would be patient and kind and let her husband move at his own pace. Anyone who thinks that cheating to satisfy a physical need is appropriate is someone who's going to do it in any circumstance. I think any man who will not openly discuss his sexuality needs to be in some sort of counseling. After a while this is not normal, but as a young man pretty typical.

Answer 5

Are u kidding me a female would love to find some1 like that, well I would anyways, search else where?? Heck no! Just like w/ any1 u wait until that person is comfortable w/ sex there should never be any pressure... The only thing to worry about w/ some1 like that is later they may want to explore different people if u get what I mean... I think when ur comfortable w/ some1 everything else just falls into place!!

Answer 6

If I really was in love with this guy, I would accept that he was a virgin. I wouldn't be looking for sex outside of my marriage since I am after all married. It is wrong to have sex outside of a marriage it is called an affair.

Answer 7

I think her comfort level of the situation would depend on how sexually active she had been in the past. Although, that's not to say she wouldn't completely accept the situation and him regardless. When you love someone, you love them.
And who knows, the gal just might like playing teacher for awhile!

Answer 8

Yeah, I wouldn't be with a guy in the first place if he had hang ups about sex. Been there done that, won't do it again.
That is one of the things I love about my man....he'd be willing to try anything I ask and not judge me personally if it turned out that he didn't enjoy it. That gives me confidence to be open with him.

Answer 9

yes, it would be wrong to cheat on someone. you made that commitment to love and respect eachother and cheating shows little to no respect. (imagine how you would feel being cheated on?)Tell the person how it is and what might be the consequences of the behaviour. If you think you cant be with this person, just let him know, dont cheat. play fair.

Answer 10

honest goes along way ! first tell the truth about your situation and if they really care about you they will accept it ! besides you can always be trained to do exactly what she wants and it ends working in her advantage in the long run!