They were lying on his bed and I walked in (I didn't know he was in there) and they were lying on the bed and he had his hand up her top. I don't mind my kids dating but...making out at 11!? Is this acceptable for her to have her hands down his pants?? I don't really want to punish them, it's normal right?? The joy of having teens!! Advice??
2007-10-26 02:01:21 · 34 answers · asked by Mum of 3 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I believe she's 12 and they're in the same year at school...And they weren't home alone...I didn't know he was in his room!
2007-10-26 02:12:56 · update #1
11 years old? of course you should punish him. thats all that needs to be said.
2007-10-26 09:19:16 · answer #1 · answered by It is finally 2008 !! 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's time for a "Family Talk".
I don't think an 11 year old should be allowed to have girls in their room. Since he has already done this he must be curious and he needs to know what can develop between boys and girls (ie babies, and STDs). I know you did not catch him having sex, but he is 11 and making out with a girl in his bed. What will he be doing at 13 if this is not discussed now?
I would make it a rule that girls not allowed over if a parent is not home, and girls are not allowed in his room. The issue should be discussed and enforced. Tell him upfront that he will be punished next time, for breaking the rules and you will also notify the girls parents.
Good luck!
2007-10-26 02:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your son should not be allowed to have girlfriends in his bedroom.. it's an inappropriate place for boys to have female guests.
Punishing him and shaming him about sex, might be a little harsh, but you can talk to him about intimacy and the fact that you realize he's curious. Let him know that he has all the time in the world for sex, and it's not something kids his age need to be doing. Because it's not.
You can also tell your son that sex is perfectly normal for adults, is an expression of love, and is something to be saved for later in his life.
There are books at the library which can help you talk with him. Maybe try that route if you are having a hard time coming up with things to discuss.
Your son is not a teen...not even close.
2007-10-26 05:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear good lord - 11?! And they say kids start early! Teens? He's 11 and he had his hand up her top, and her hands were down his trousers? That is absolutley the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my entire life - punish them otherwise god knows what will happen. You really do need to sit him down and say to him, "You are a child, you can't do that until you are at least sixteen" Contact her parents and tell them what you've seen. Discuss it and if I were you I'd send him to a boarding school. This is a really, really bad thing they've done - please sort it out and soon.
2007-10-26 12:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world do you think it's ok for a 11 year old to date??? That opens the door for the same behaviour that you walked in on. It's not normal for an 11 year old to be putting his hand up someones shirt. Your attitude is way too laid back towards sexual behaviour. "It's normal right" "I don't mind them dating" You're going to be a grandparent really soon! You really need help, her hands we're down his pants??? Wow you win clueless parent award.
2007-10-26 05:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You feel it's OK for an 11 year old to date?
Your asking if it's OK for a 12 year old girl to have her hands down your 11 year old sons pants?
Are your joking?
I really think that you should take some parenting classes, if you need to ask this question.
2007-10-26 04:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by Lorie N 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for kids to experiment. Been there done that. But be careful. Lay down the rules. Kissing is one thing but nothing further. Kids tend to want to do the opposite of what their parents want them to do, so don't over react. It will make it seem more exciting for them. Talk to your son. Tell him that kissing is normal and ok. But there are risks of anything else. Be blunt and don't sugar coat anything. I told my son all about AIDS, Herpes, and other STD's he could get and I have even shownhim pictures. He is careful now and he is 15, which is more sexually active. But I know I can trust him because I took the time to talk to him and let him know whats out there. Lying to them or holding back will make it worse. Definately make a rule that no girls are allowed in the bedroom unless the doors are open at ALL times.
2007-10-26 05:00:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I'm not sure that's normal at 11. There not even teenagers yet. I know things seem to move a lot faster these days, I have teenagers also but 11 seems to be awful young to me. I have a 13 year old son, I don't allow girls in the house when I'm not home and defiantly not in his room.
2007-10-26 02:16:05 · answer #8 · answered by firebird 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
wow my boy just turned 12 so i can see where your coming from and omg already....yes i would have to have a long talk about whats appropriate and whats not at his age. but don't forget these are the puberty years and they want to explore and that is normal.wether we like it or not. i would'nt punish no, but i would say it i won't punish you but you are going to listen to what i have to say. and explain how far he should only be going. that he is too young and explain to hm where he would be if this gurl gets pregnant. cause my gurl got her periods at the age of 11 .so ,so could this gurl that he is dating. which means dad he can get her pregnant.
this is the point in life where you have to sit and talk to him like you would your best friend. this is where in life it makes a difference on what you say or do as a parent. and buy the kid a box of condoms so he can be responsible .and take care of his future.just in case.....wonder how far they would have went if dad didn't walk in.........that would be scary 3 months down her and her parnts come back and tell you she is pregnant.....good luck to you... you'll need it.
2007-10-26 02:11:23 · answer #9 · answered by mimi 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
11 years old is WAY too young to be "dating" and experimenting with each other's bodies. Remember at 11, he's not even a teen yet!!!! If he is going to have "girlfriends" over, there needs to be rules. No girls in bedroom, no girls unless an adult is home. Secondly, the girl's parents need to be notified. As a parent of girls, I would definately want to know if my 11 year old was doing this. Both children need to be talked to about sex. Both of them are experiencing some serious changes in their bodies and they need someone to guide them on what is appropriate, respecting their own bodies, as well as other people's bodies, how serious sex is and the consequences. I'm only 29, but kids today just blow me away. At 11, I was way too embarrassed about my body to even think about letting a boy touch me like that, at sleep overs, we were still giggling about kissing a boy. You definately need to have a talk with your son...
2007-10-26 02:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by Jen M 4 · 8⤊ 1⤋
yea i would punsh him...wow they are fast moving a 11 i was to scared to even hold hands w/ a boy i think you should have a serious talk w/ him ASAP and maybe not let him out of the house for a while or let him any where near that girl
wow im sorry that just blows my mind!
def do something b4 your posting like i read a few days ago about her 13 year old son getting his 13 year old pregnant
2007-10-26 02:59:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋