why is beer/alcohol illegal in the USA?

Question

as an Englishman and owner of many major US based companies i feel i must ask this.
I like a good drink, but I have never been able to get drunk since I moved to the USA.The reason being is that in the USA alcohol/beer is illegal, the American government have allowed a "beer substitute" by the name of budweiser to be consumed.This "beer substitute" is fine for Americans, but i need something a little stronger.Last night I had 29 pints of "beer substitute" and it had no effect.

Answer 1

Go down south and ask for the strongest homegrown peach moonshine you can get. Be sure you eat the peach inside. Oh, and drink it from a wide straw. That'll get you 4 paws up if that's what you want.

Answer 2

You must be the Englishman that went up the hill, do doubt, had you drank 29 pints of our Budweiser Beer whether it was your version of beer or not or "what you call a beer substitute" it's still strong and has quite a kick so, I would venture to say you either a alcoholic or a ?

I did hear of a few good consoling centers it you want to names.

Answer 3

Beer/alcohol is illegal in the USA because it was banned during the great "Philadelphia Ale Riots" of 1977.

Apparently, after drinking a few of those newfangled Irish black-and-tans, us Yanks started acting like a bunch of inebriated Brits, puking in our Coopers and watching Benny Hill all night. Revolting! As you can see, we had no choice but to protect our upright, hard-working, God-fearing society from this repulsive development.

The "beer substitute" you so contemptuously disparage is a brilliant innovation: a harmless swap that fools the drinker into believing they have been given actual alcohol. This pacifies the masses and lines the coffers of an American corporation, which then pays taxes to the government for the privilege, thereby indirectly benefitting all.

Without this patriotic alliance between "Budweiser" and the American legislature, the entire society might have Anglo-morphed by now. (Worse yet, what if we had Iro-, Czecho- or Germano-morphed?)

[I agree with your tongue-in-cheek point. In the spirit of our trans-Atlantic hugfest, here's another one for you:

Q: How is American beer like having sex in a canoe?
A: They're both f***ing close to water.

Bottoms up and good luck with your "drinking problem".]

Answer 4

You must be living in the wrong place. I agree that Bud is crap (my opinion) but there are some magnificent beers in the USA. Try some Sam Adams from Boston or many others. Its all this "lite" stuff that is rubbish.

Answer 5

It might be that you are an alcoholic. If your tolerance is that high, I would be worried about your liver falling out your ar$e, or mouth. Whichever is pointed downward.

You obviously have an attitude problem, just come down here to the south, we will teach you some manners! We might just share some white lightning with you just to see you fall on your face/ar$e whichever end is up.

Answer 6

If you don't like bud or any american beer why don't you try some of the many import beers we bring into this country I'm sure you can find somthing thats like your looking for

Answer 7

If you don't care for the alcohol you get here in the US, don't buy it.

You keep trashing the US all the time on this site. If you hate it so much, why do you own companies here?? Something should be done about that. I cannot find any listing for U.S. Corps on the internet. What is the full name please?

Answer 8

Alcohol and beer are not illegal here in the US. The only way you would not be able to purchase it here is if you are under the age of 21.

Answer 9

You sound like you fell off the third limb of the Tree-Leaf Motel.
Anyone that believes anything here must be a relative... or high on something other than Budweiser... like a real "substitute".
"Owner of 'many' US companies?" Give me a break!

Answer 10

Budweiser is 5%! It's therefore equivalent of drinking Kronenbourg (but nowhere near as nice!) and it didn't get you drunk???
Hats off to ya mate! lol