We have a male friend of the family who carries a torch for my wife; she knows this, has told me, and has said it's under control, she's told him she can't go there, she loves me and doesn't fancy him. I've no reason to doubt this, and am pretty certain nothing untoward has gone on, but would like any married women's opinions on two little incidents; the first is the fact that when she emailed him three pics of a group day at the beach one of them was just of her, in a bikini. the other is when I happened to walk in on them working on a computer project; something had just gone wrong on screen, causing him to sigh in exasperation, at which she lent over and put her forehead on his shoulder in a kind of empathy thing I guess. A little bit of me wonders if these two incidents are really a good idea with a guy you wish to clearly put off any hope of romatic ideas? Or am I just getting paranoid?
2007-10-25 23:31:34 · 14 answers · asked by SITSC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell the guy he is no longer welcome to be around you and your family/wife. The 'friendship' must end and it must 'end' now. BRING some MALE brothers, uncles, dad and/or cousins (Family ONLY in cases like this) to be with you when you tell him. HE needs to know that you are her husband in no uncertain terms. DO NOT TELL YOUR WIFE YOU ARE DOING THIS. Just do it. He will back off because he know you are serious and that you have the support of your family to back you up.
It sounds like a creepy situation. YOU both do not need 'friends' like this, especially if you want a family with this woman. Good luck.
2007-10-26 00:06:57 · answer #1 · answered by Alea S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you would have to define 'carries a torch' for you wife... Does this guy 'love' her from a far and knows he will never have her and sees her as his perfect woman but knows she is in love with you and you alone and NOTHING will ever happen between them.
OR
Is he waiting for the change to jump...?
You wife may think that what she might be doing is harmless, the head on his shoulder.
But the guy might be thinking he is getting somewhere with her.
If then,, you need to step in and may be talk to your wife let her know you think that these little incidents are a giving the guy the wrong impression..
2007-10-25 23:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think she likes that he likes her. She is flirting. No way is sending a solo bikini pic trying to "turn someone off". Not usually anyway. And the head on the shoulder thing. Come on. She needs to wake up and keep her flirty ways in check when around this guy.
2007-10-26 02:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. No woman should be sending pics of herself to any man, let alone a guy who "fancies" her... at the beach (even worse when she is in a bikini) when she is married, ... even for those that say it's ok and "harmless", it's not harmless... he probably sits there staring at her "in her bikini" alot, or probably has it as a screensaver =(... she is basically playing w/ his emotions, or perhaps, something more is going on behind your back... I hope you spoke up about this, if you didn't, speak up soon!
2. I am just wondering, did something go wrong on the screen? or were they looking at porn, or her in her binkini again? hmmm... anyway... Whose computer was this? your computer at your home? His computer at his home? another family member's computer at their house? What computer project, for church, work, or school? They should not be partners in anything, nothing at all... not just because of this "crush" on her but because they are of the opposite sex, and she is married... no, she should not be leaning on his "shoulder"... physical contact, even if "innocent" will lead to other things if they let it... usually! he will probably think about her head on his shoulder for weeks now =(... you are not paranoid =(... she is basically "leading him on" or "playing w/ his emotions" or perhaps they are cheating... I guess I am different from alot of ladies... I blew off a whole family for my husband because I used to have a "crush" on the ladies son...the son lives w/ her... I don't visit them ever... w/o my husband... and when I can get him to go w/ me... I will visit them again... I blew them off when I met my husband... good luck, get to the bottom of this... =)
2007-10-25 23:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well I dont want to give you wrong opinions but these 2 incidents are really suspicious..... I think there is somthing ur not in any kind of paranoa ...if u think that she un voluntarily in her ignorance rest on his shoulder but why she sent him her nude pic??? I suggest u shud not just conclude on these 2 incidents observe them more.. how r yr terms with yr wife may be she loves u somuch and thinks u will not consider it important but u shud frankly tell her that u r not comfortable bout this male friend.
2007-10-25 23:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by Aleya K 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Their is something bewteen them. A flame a spark, DEFINETLY something though. I would never let my wife do that or even have another man in my house that has a 'thing' for her. He sounds like he is waiting for the right time to put on some moves. It doesn't help she is sending him half naked pictures of herself to him. That would cause some wondering right there!!! Don't just sit back and watch whats going on between them. Take some action and RIGHT away!!!
2007-10-25 23:41:53 · answer #6 · answered by supermanno4 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
wow man, u have a patience of an elephant. u don't get a fox as a pet if u have a chicken farm - that's the only thing i tell u. what if u get an argument with wify? and she gets angry? do u know what we women are capable of in anger condition? u don't? well, if i were u i would ask her to stop seeing him. he is just a friend, u re a husband. who is more importnat?
2007-10-26 01:08:39 · answer #7 · answered by yeahright 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since she knows he has feelings for her, she should be more careful about these things. They may be taken the wrong way or add to a fantasy of his. The bathing suit picture does concern me. I can't think of any reason this would have been acceptable. It doesn't mean she's cheating, but it isn't appropriate in my opinion.
2007-10-25 23:52:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I know my husband would be upset if I sent another man a pitchure of me in my bathing suit, that is a red flag right there, and then her putting her head on his shoulder, yeh, another red flag.
I would suggest you talk to her and tell her that the pitchure was a bad idea and you feel uncomfortable with her putting her head on another man's shoulder, when you have a shoulder to lean on for her!
2007-10-25 23:39:31 · answer #9 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if i was to do that.....my husband would be out the door....although it may jus be innocent flirting.... she is your wife and has no right behaving this way.................poppi
sillario......y is wrong to send u pik in bikini if u not married....n is 2 ur boyfriend lol omg....is nothing 2 do with class,,,,,is nothin wrong to swap pics....i think you sound jealous bombrgrl xxxxx(friend of poppi)
2007-10-25 23:37:43 · answer #10 · answered by a little lost 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋