I don't have any personal experiences being in a married relationship, so my answer wouldn't be as good as the others. But I agree marriage is the greatest relationship. i mean, it is not a blood realation. It is a relationship based on trust and love. And u love ur partner, because u learn to appreciate them for who they really are. Marriage is a relationship of changes. I will explain what i mean as I answer.
WHen I was little, I used to ask my parents why couples fight ( since I watched a serials with my mom. And u know how Indian serials are. Everyday u will someone fighting. Its insane) Any way. ANd I love my parents explaination. This is how they explained it to me, since I was little.
See, we all fight with our siblings right ? I did it when I was little. i still do, sometimes. Siblings are born to the same parents, same environmental conditions, same family values, same amount to love and even a lot of the same personality ( not exact, but close in a lot of aspects) etc. And they still fight and have arguments. Right ?? Now think about it, marraige is a relationship between people from different families. 2 persons with different family values, differenent parents, different environmental conditions, different personlity and different views. SO isn't it obivious that they are going to have arguments and things where they disagree? When I was little, I guess that is what my parents told me and I thought that explaination was awesome. And I still do. I guess is the best explanation about why couples fight.
I am still learning about marriage from different people. Marriage is a relationship of acceptance. It is a relatioship of open heart. U have to have an open heart to accept ur partner. Some people just focus on the bad part of the partner. They never see the goodness of the parner. Everyone has good and bad aspects of their life. But if their partner only sees their bad, that relationship will fail. But a true marriage is about appreciating the goodness in the parner and helping them to change the bad areas in their life instead of criticizing them. A lot of people just critizise their partner for being bad. But what they don't realize is that marriage is a partnership. So if there is something wrong about the wife, it is the husbands reponsibility to correct it with a positive attitude and vice versa. But many people are good at criticizing rather than helping. This is where people making marriage complicated. They only want to critizise. They never help.
Marriage also requires a lot of patience. No human is perfect.So none of us are gonna have a perfect parners. But being able to accept the partner for who they are requires a lot of patience.
I will tell u a story that I hear couple years ago.
Okay. There was this husband and wife. the husband was the most horrible person ever. he never cared about his wife. Always yelled at her and critizised her a lot. But she never said anything. he got a job abroad. He left and he was happy that he was not gonna be with his wife now. So christmas time came. This was the wifes first christmas without her husband after the marriage. Usually on christmas days the husband drinks a lot and beat her up. But this christmas, he was away. So she wanted to give him a gift. But she didn't know what to give him. That man always used to beat her up, critizise her infront of everyone, she prayed to god to help her find a good gift for him. She got an idea. SHe started to write a paper full of good things about him and send that paper to the husband. The man recieved the letter. He opened it before he was going to drink and enjoy his first christmas alone after the marriage. He started to read it. He was surprised. He never knew there were so many good things in him. He started to cry, because the wife talked about how he protects her and earns money for the family and stuff. He felt guilty about the way he treated his wife all these years. HE cried so much. He threw away his alcohol bottle and went to a nearby church and attented the christmas mass and prayed for his wife. Then when he went to a phone booth and called his wife for the first time. They both didn't know what to say. He said sorry and they were both able to forgive each other. After that incident they were able accept each other for who they really are.
So the moral of the story is that, when u are able to see the good in ur partner, u can make the relatioship less complicated. If a lot of people did that, think about how our divorce rate would go down. How many happy couples can be found in this world ?
I hope everyone find something good in their partner !!
2007-10-27 01:41:49
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answer #1
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answered by Brilliant Queen (BQ)_forever !!! 5
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It should be the most uncomplicated relationship in our lives. That is too easy. We get tired and don;t always do the things that keep us strong like talking, and making a point to really listen to our spouse. When we are tired we get irritable, then we complicate the relationship by being irritated. Some people thrive on an an argumentative relationship others don't and if the two get married that makes for complications as one will be unhappy. A person can feel excluded from the important decisions and that creates complications. There are thousands of reasons that can make a relationship complicated and there are thousands of solutions to un-complicate the relationship. When we love someone we look for the solutions. We don't need or want the complications. In marriage we all need to remember that we love each other no matter the complications.
2007-10-26 09:13:08
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answer #2
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answered by Linda S 6
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I have my doubts about marriage as a great relationship Gentleman.I have witnessed two people,aman and woman, fall in love and get along superbly.Then after they are married the relationship appears to break down for one or more reasons.Often they are ill equiped to deal with parenthood.Sometimes neither of them have a clue how to manage money and they end up in serious debt.Sometimes they come to the realization they were not meant for each other and are stuck by the marriage and divorce in some states are very inequitable to the man mostly.I have never been married and never intend to get married.I have met the right woman ,I know in my heart.However she is now a five year survivor of leukemia.I wish I had met this woman 30+ years ago.She feels the same way.However now we will always be the best of friends/Very rarely do you meet that woman or man who is right for you.Maybe if you are lucky twice in your lifetime.Marriage is only a great relationship if the two people are "right" for one another.And even then it takes a lot of work to make it work.I am glad it is made so complicated because people often have no idea what they are getting themselves into.Oddly enough the Divorce which more than half the time follows is made even more difficult.I do not believe love needs the sanction of religion,the state,or society.None of those organizations are going to make the love and teamwork any easier.My advice Gentleman is "Beware of Marriage".You Pal larry m
2007-10-26 00:32:33
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answer #3
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answered by lmott2805@yahoo.com 4
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marriage is a dedication or promise made to each other which states that the two people will love, care, be affetionate, helping, supporting and provide safety to each other. it is made complicated when you see it as a burden or a job you are entitled to do; the job is loving, sharing, caring, etc..... we make it complicated as we want to be free with no restrictions or prohibitions and responsibilities and at the same time accet and act out the promises made to the church or temple in front of everyone. if you have noticed or have been curious about the marriage ring, you would find it is circle. this is not to make it easy to weaar but also represent love. ok, i will expain. imagine a circle, it dosent hae a start or and ending. like that the ring have no startind or an ending which is similar to love which nas not starting point or ending point. marriage is all about husband a wife being one body and one soul and supprting and helping each other and doig everything as one!!!!
larry m, the reason why lovers later feel that they shouldnt have been together is because their imagiations and understandng of life and of each other was very little before marriage. after marriage their knowledge broaden out about life and its responsibilities and of each other. that is the reason.this is my understanding soo far.
2007-10-26 02:29:01
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Boy did you hit the nail on the head! A lot has to do with society and what is accepted. Fidelity is becoming a thing of the past....there is no true commitment, and when the new wears off and the thrill is gone....it becomes boring, and there are too many people who could care less if someone is married or not....if you want a trist in the bed it isn't too hard to find. So couple, children really society itself suffers from the quick fix to the blues, and then wonder what's wrong.....Good question!
2007-10-26 01:25:46
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answer #5
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answered by Sage 6
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hi GenTLe m@n....
Yes, marriage is a greatest relation.
But nowadays people have started taking this relation very light. They really dont care about the purity of this relation. They just simply want to use this relation just for a couple of days and then forgive. That's why the divorce rate is increasing tremendously.
Humans have the tendency to mapeople should realize the true worth ke even a small thing very complicated. But i think, of this pure and beautiful relation and just dont take it as a joke....tc...sweet dreamz...bye...
*****dO w@tEvEr uR hE@rT $@yZ....*****.
2007-10-27 16:16:06
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answer #6
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answered by $@LLu 5
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You answered your own question; Marriage is so complex because it is the greatest relationship of our lives.
I have heard of way too many people that entered marriage much too lightly. I meet a person on this board that has been married a year and was thinking of straying because their partner was not giving them enough sexual attention. I talked to them a little behind the scenes and found that she had some unfulfilled fantasies and their partner refused to talk about the partner’s fantasies. Sex is a major component of most marriages and it is the one acceptable source so it is very important in the relationship; to both sides. Luckily they defrosted their partner a little and found some important clues that were previously unknown. Clearly, they didn’t communicate very well on the topic of sex; which leads me to say the most important thing in a marriage is good communication.
Think about it, if you don’t know what your partner is thinking then you can’t please them, you can’t help but be annoying to them and when a problem occurs you won’t be able to solve it. If you don’t talk then you don’t relate and if you don’t relate then your marriage is pretty bad.
There are other ways to raise families but the single partner arraignment is the most traditional and common, which makes it hugely important because you are raising our future. Raising the future isn’t the goal of every family, some only want each other, but for those that do want children that family is the most important influence in those children’s lives. I think the second greatest form of child abuse is to have an unwanted child and still try to raise them in an environment with no love. It is the reason why I support abortion, although I do consider it murder. Without a marriage and all that entails raising a child is so difficult that it may be better for the child to not even attempt it. Adoption would be preferable to abortion; but so rarely is it ever considered.
I have a girlfriend, and we are talking about marriage. In her nation divorce is illegal. That means a marriage is meant to last for a lifetime. When the custom was first developed that could be as short as 10-20 years but, now days it is more like a 40-50 year commitment. Maybe that is too long of a commitment; so many Americans can’t see to fulfill it that for the first time in our history the number of unconventional families raising children are out numbered by the number of man and wife families raising children. This is a poor comment on how stable our marriages are.
Robert A. Heinlein, in his novel “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress,” explored some alternate marriages; including contract marriages with a limited duration and line marriages with multiple partners. The line marriage was more stable because a string of husbands and a string of wives insured the children would always have parents. In a harsh world it developed as a survival tactic to prevent homeless children. It also made a self regulating system where the other family members helped to keep the family stable. Since the moon was a colony of prisoners most people came there alone and had no family. The adaptation was a natural one that artificially created a family when one didn’t exist. Heinlein had a lot of revolutionary ideas similar to this; like having to EARN the right to vote with military service as seen in “Starship Troopers.”
Maybe it is time to reconsider how our marriages are formed. I know that in the US it has been traditional to kick the kids out of the house by the time they are 18 or after they go through college. My wife’s culture doesn’t do that and I see the value in her reasoning. If you don’t have a car, a place to live and a job then you are not going to make it in the world. I know a lot of struggling young adults who left home too early and had to pay for it with low value jobs and low value educations.
In the past a family could count on its other members to help with the raising of the children. My brother-in-law is a local and has dozens of family members in the area. But, my family has spread to both coasts and the middle of the US meaning that I don’t’ have as many resources to count on and if I have children my mother will only show up once in a great while. When I was growing up I only got to see my Grandparents once a year; at most.
Look at the popular show Friends, only two of them were related to each other, but when Ross had a child he could count on help from all of his friends. They were even closer to him then his own parents were. If you look at the show they were an informal family who came together randomly, but stayed together because they were such good friends. When the series ended distance broke up that family; they all went their separate ways, and could no longer count on each other for support. Hollywood is often a reflection of real society and our current lives and that show was very appealing because it showed modern America. The popular show Sienfeld had no children, but it too was an informal family and that may be one reason why it was so popular.
Marriage is important because it is our primary method for raising our children and it is the most popular way for adults to have reliable partners (sexual and other wise). We are watching that relationship crumble and divorce is more and more common now days. I think one big reason for that crumbling is a lack of communication, but another may be because our own families are so spread out and disconnected.
2007-10-26 19:50:44
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answer #7
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answered by Dan S 7
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yes, i think marriage is the greatest relationship...to be able to give yourself wholly and unconditionally to another person is a great risk...why risky? because you are entrusting your whole life, your totality to another person....and why is it complicated? because relationships involves emotions and as emotional beings we are unpredictable...add to this the uncertainties of life (other people, events, etc) that influence the way we feel and act...
yes marriage is both great and complicated...its like a roller coaster ride...it can be the best experience in your life, especially if you have the perfect partner with you....
2007-10-27 01:30:38
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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marriage is just like breathing. it is very simple and we do it and go through it everyday.
but when we start to ruin our health it becomes hard to breath and just the same thing for marriage
marriage is very easy to stay maintained if you have love in your relationship and if you want to continue it, but some make it difficult because they get caught up in things and take their love and marriage as a second priority. i believe you don't have to take marriage seriously to have a good successful marriage just to be in your marriage and have love in your relationship, but being serious is never wrong either.
it all depends on the relationship and you and your partner and how you carry your chemistry together.
so good luck with your relationships with your life.
indianbeauty
Punjabi Girl
2007-10-26 15:01:55
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answer #9
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answered by indianbeauty13 3
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if you really want to spend the rest of your natural life on this earth with one person then the selection process will be complicated. you are not buying some inanimate object in a shop to make you decision instantly this is life and death question and the process will be complex and complicated until you find the right girl/boy.
2007-10-25 23:21:29
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answer #10
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answered by Pramod R 4
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