I'm waiting for the right time to tell my wife that i cheated on her with another man..how would i do it??

Question

i met this married man three months ago in a drinking session and we end up having sex. it's my first time to do it with a man and honestly i enjoy it, being kiss and hug by another man but this is more on physical sex as we both love our wives and kids. this meeting goes on at least every week, we enjoy our company and after sex we go back to our wives, this is very discreet and we're doing safe methods. my sex with my wife had improved since then and she enjoys the new enthusiasm. i know i cheated my wife the worst to another man. i'm thinking on telling her but i don't know how and i'm loking for the right time. i'm weighing the option that my wife will freak out and this secret will go out to our families and friends. i don't know what to do..if i tell my wife and she accept it will my cheating be absolved. incase she agreed that i continue seing this man while we remain married is the cheating no longer an issue. please help me make up my mind??? thanks!!

Answer 1

Sad that you are going to put your kids through this. You must be a very selfish person to think only about your needs.

Move out of the house, continue to make the payments while providing support to your family.

These are the promises you made when you married her. You should be made to live up to your promise. No reason why everyone should suffer for your decisions.

Answer 2

i've got confidence the only appropriate component to do is to tell the two adult adult males think ofyou've have been given been drowsing with which you're pregnant. tell them which one you suspect is the father. After the teen is born enable them to pay for a paternity test in basic terms so the right guy is often picked to be the father. enable him the risk to now no longer in basic terms pay toddler help in spite of the undeniable fact that to be a father in the youngster's existence. If the father does not might desire to step as lots simply by fact the plate. Then be sure you get the youngster help enforced. start up your existence over recent and new. desire that quicker or later which you would be able to build a trusting relationship with every person and leave the cheating boyfriend in the back of.

Answer 3

I've been following your story the past week or so. I certainly don't condone cheating in any relationship and I've expressed that to you before. My thoughts are: You are bisexual. Are you going to be able to stop seeing this other man? If not, what are your plans with him? Is there reciprocative feelings between the two of you?

This is a horrible situation and there are a lot of innocent people unknowingly involved. You need to weigh the pros and cons. Will it do more damage to reveal the affair than to keep it secret? Can you live with the consequences of the revelation? Will your marriage survive?

He's married. He has a family also. Is he willing to leave his wife for you? Are you willing to leave your wife for him?

I can't tell you how your wife will react. I can only imagine that she will be terribly hurt. This burden rests with you alone right now. You need to do some honest and serious sole-searching.

Do not intentionally hurt others just to make yourself feel better about your misdeeds.

Answer 4

You have to accept the possibility and probability that things will never be the same again once you reveal the "SECRET" to her. This is not an easy issue, like "I broke the plate honey" and hoping that she will just forget it as soon as you confess.
A betrayal of trust will raise a lot of questions in her, and especially since you cheated on her with a man, that raises the stress and questions: were you gay all along? did you really love her? Did you knowingly deceive her? etc...
It sounds painfully hard I know, but you have to accept the consequences if you are to move on with your life. You will have the final decision, but believe me when I say to you that a life lived in deception ends up hurting yourself the most.
I wish you well in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 5

Have you lost your mind? You better be looking for somewhere else to live, because there is no way she is going to accept your new found love, and aids is out there in the gay community. You tell her you loose your family. Sit down and count the cost with the "What if". And go from there. If this man means that much to you go ahead and tell her, because he will be the only one you will be with. Women do not like to share anyone, and know. You are playing with fire. And you will be sorry.

Answer 6

I am almost in the same position. My point of veiw is this, why? Why destroy something that is good? If you feel guilty then stop. I plan on taking this to the grave. There is no justification to ruin everyones life.
Unless you were up front from the begining this will not go well.
As long as you are practicing safe sex.
Good luck with this.

Answer 7

by Twister Member since:
October 19, 2007
Total points:
255 (Level 2) holy crap...from a 16 year old male point of view..i really can't understand why men can't keep their penis inside their pants and save it to their wives or girlfriends. my gf since i was 14 and i believed that sex can wait when we are in the right age. there are girls around who wants me but its only for physical sex and no love. it seems for me sex between two person (girl and boy) should be secred and must be done with love and respect. how is it that cheating seems a norm rather than actions that will consider love for the family. is sexual urge can't be controlled it because there is a hot chick that wants to have sex with you. i guess it can. in my age i do masturbate at least daily i guess it normal and our coach said it also helps us release the pressure and fear during our games..i don't know maaaaannnn???? i thoughts this is something why our society is breaking up...why divorce rate is very high and why AIDS, STD and drugs are in our streets..its no longer safe because of men who can't be contented with a wife but seek more pleasure in making more...god bless you...dude

Answer 8

You are naughty to have been a cheating little monkey, weren't you? Now you have to deal with the consequences. You made your bed, now lie in it. I hope your wife leaves you and sues you for all the spousal support she can get. Please tell me your first and last name and town where you live so i can alert the local papers to watch out for you. I don't mean that in a homophobic way. I mean it in a way that i am saying, "Dude, you cheated on your wife. You are no good. No woman or man should have you." You should go crawl off beneath a bridge and live like a troll.

Answer 9

There really isn't a "right time". You need to tell her asap though. No matter what, she's going to freak out to some degree. Was she AT ALL aware of your bi-curious nature already? If not, be ready for some intense communicating. She's not only going to be hurt that you cheated on her, but she's also going to be taken for a loop when you tell her it was with another guy.

Good luck with this. I don't envy you one bit.

Answer 10

Are you sure you wanna leave your wife for another man?
Think about it.You marry her and promised to take care of her no matter how's her condition.That is your duty,as her husband,taking care of her and your kids.

So,you want to tell your wife that you have cheated her aye?
I think you should do this wisely.Take her to somewhere,dont let your kids hears it,it might get worse. Tell her that you need to confess,and you know you were wrong and you need her forgiveness to forgive you.Then,you confess everything to her and explain stuff.

Good luck mate.