I had a 'friend' of MANY yrs.but got sick and tired of being her sounding board so to speak / plus everytime we ever did anything like go to NYC or a movie,it was always her way or the highway
She also let it be known to me about her jealousies of me, abt the fact I have a good husband complaining she has no one. and that she has bills piled up to her head and I don't have to worry abt that. That she's a caregiver to her Mother and mine is independent plus married. All she ever did was act either angry at me for successes in my life as well as other things I've achieved/I guess I just got sick of feeling like her therapist when she wasn;'t really there for me.
I don't know anyone else around here.
All my relatives live out of state/yes I have a good husband but one must have friends too,right?
I feel like I'm starting at square one w/my social life,help!
p.s. tried to be as supportive as I could w/that 'friend' but always felt like the perpetual giver and ended up feeling very use
2007-10-25 21:20:40 · 12 answers · asked by Auntie Marie SueB 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
very used emotionally for years
2007-10-25 21:21:36 · update #1
You need to go to places that have people that are social and talk to a few of them and see if you could have a friendship with them. If someone strikes your interests go talk to him/her and get to know him/her a little bit. Once you gain her trust exchange numbers and talk on the phone. If you begin to tell that she may be like your old friend after a few get togethers then tell them that you don't want to go any further. Or space out the times you see each other so that you will become friends but not best friends.
Hope I helped. ^_^
2007-10-25 21:35:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have taken the first step in recognizing that this friendship was toxic and by leaving it behind ,you can now move forward. You can use us as a soundingboard so you will get advice from many different people and you can do what is best for you. All you need is one good friend and like the chaplain said if you go to a place of worship of your choice , you will be welcomed and the camaradarie is so good for the soul. Welcome to the seniors , drop in any time.
2007-10-26 13:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by Donna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have touched a chord with me, have a friend 26 years in the same situation as yourself, non ending and it does wear you down, I was caregiver to my mother, when mu mum died last year, my friend changed towards me and things got better, but there are still old habits there that bug me and the jealousy is one of them, yet we have gone through a lot and she is still there through thick and thin. I had to sit down and really dig deep to see, would I be any better off without her.
2007-10-26 05:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by Little miss naughty 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i'm sorry for your situation, but that road can run both ways. i had a friend that was always bragging about how good her life was when she knew that mine was in the toilet. that got old after a while too. is it possible that the same is happening here - i have no way of knowing, but i hope not because it can make the other person really feel like s h i t
2007-10-26 04:32:25 · answer #4 · answered by bassetfreak 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
What do you mean "semi-abused? Sounds to me like you were the only one being a friend. Starting at square one is better than staying in a relationship that drains you.
2007-10-26 06:17:22 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
"I have a good husband but one must have friends too,right?"
Your husband should be your best friend. You don't really need to attach yourself to outside friends. Having friends is ok, but not to close to them is better. My wife are each others best friends. We don't maintain close friends for the very reasons you outlined in your summary.
Here at yahoo answers are lots of friends waiting to be a friend without knocking you down.
2007-10-26 10:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Tinman12 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know what, you might think that you don't have friends but they are there including us in Yahoo Answers. i guess u did a very good job to leave that person you called a friend, to me i wouldn't call her a Friend but a life destroyer.do not worry cos i believe there are many people in your hood who can be friends with you,just give it some time, and good luck. i have a positive feeling that you can be a good and needed friend
2007-10-26 04:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by roymoseki 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Try going to your local church or synagogue. You will find folks there who will be glad to include you in their circle of friends.
You might also find opportunities there to use the talents gained in earning the success you mentioned to help others who are in need of encouragement.
2007-10-26 04:33:17 · answer #8 · answered by Chaplain John 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I dont want to offend you but you were part of this friendship and allowed it to develop along these lines, at any point you could have spoken up, attempted to change the focus. Maybe in the beginning you were flattered by her envy, pleased your life looked so good compared to hers -
You say you felt like a therapist, but a good therapist doesnt give advise or hand out suggestions on how someone should change their lives. They lead the person towards discovering those truths for themselves.
2007-10-26 04:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by isotope2007 6 · 3⤊ 5⤋
She doesn't sound good for you at all. I would rather be on my own than hang with someone like that. If it were me, I'd say bye bye and move on.
2007-10-26 07:41:52 · answer #10 · answered by Roxy. 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋