Why do some men feel so attacked by feminism? How has feminism hurt YOU, men?

Question

I mean, really. How has it hurt you personally? I am quite certain of how the patriarchy and sexist culture has hurt women, but I am very unsure of how feminism itself has directly hurt men? Ladies, why do YOU think men feel so threatened at times?

Shing--Perhaps I have a hard time understanding WHY some men feel the way they do, and that's why I asked the question. I wanted feedback. I wanted discussion. I asked specifically for male AND female opinions. I wasn't trying to be condescending at all. I was asking a question I wanted an answer too. I won't call you an anti-feminist, but I will call you rude.

Answer 1

First off, I generally consider myself to be in sympathy with the feminist cause. Most of the anti-feminist stuff that gets posted here is totally crap.

A few things that people could legitimately argue, though.

Affirmative Action has created unfair admissions policies for most schools, as well as unfair hiring policies at some major employers. People who lost jobs, or who didn't get into school over that have every right to scream. This has not been supported by all feminists, but the feminist movement as a whole has vocally backed Affirmative Action.

The tendency to blindly award custody to mothers over fathers, and the concomitant child support payments that result have frequently been unfair. This phenomenon predates feminism, but feminism has tended to reinforce it.

But feminism has never hurt me personally. None of the above ever happened to me. In fact the reshaping of gender roles ushered in by feminism has helped my family to live our lives in ways that probably would have been impossible decades ago. I would say that feminism has overall been very positive for me and the world at large.

Answer 2

Every man that has to live in a society that feminism has tainted is hurt by it. Men have been demonized by feminism for 40 years.

Do some research.

If there were men's studies programs in colleges where anti-female extremists were required reading, I think you'd realize that might not be too "swell" for women. ...Might just "hurt" them.

If the teachers in these programs taught about the evil "patriarchy" where women are keeping men down, that might just make men a little resentful & bitter & it might just drive a wedge between the sexes.

The reverse of that situation if found all over the nation in our universities.

That's just one example.

Do some research.

Katie Couric on the Today show can ask a bride that had been stood up at the alter if she'd "considered castration as an option" ...for the absent groom.

Did she lose her job?

If Matt Lauer had asked a man if he'd considered the genital mutilation of his bride what do you think would have happened?

Ask Don Imus... Or Larry Summers.

Answer 3

Men feel threatened by anything that is against them, the same as anyone.

Feminism as an ideology is fine as it aims for the equality between both genders however it is often taken to include positive discrimination and that is what is of a threat to men, most men under a certain age would have been turned down on at least a few occasions for being a man, I am a white male who has always hopped to work for the government but i am told over and over again that spaces are reserved for Women and Minorities.

eventually this will turn you against feminists, whilst you go through pages and pages of jobs you can not have due to your gender then you have to listen to someone saying that the patriarchial society is keeping women down it can grate on your nerves, whilst I agree that the White Male has dominated society for a long time, that wasn't me. I have never passed a woman over for promotion or paid a man more for doing the same job as all my bosses are women already.

Also culturally men get a lot of "partial" feminism - Women who go on about feminism and want to be treated as equals but what the mean is they want to be treated better (Open Doors, Pay for Everything, Be the one to chase etc..) and this leave us confused and unsure of where we stand. One woman will get upset you didn't get the door, the next will slap you for getting it! - this will always lead to confusion and confusion leads to fear.

but I suppose the main way it upsets many men is due to the belief that Men don't matter, look at the tone of your question, you are making assumptions already that men have no right to be upset and only you are justified. you must remember that EVERYONE can only see things from their own side, I would never suggest to know how hard life is as a women, so what makes you so sure there is no hardship in being a man?

Answer 4

My problem with feminism is that I'm really doubtful of some of its ideologies. I agree with with equal opportunities. But from what I read, feminism is more than equal opportunities and rights, though I can't confirm these issues. It is because of some of these issues which I can't confirm that some men feel threatened.
As graysmom said in her post, I think she's right. Also, my mum who has suffered abuse still does not believe in all of the feminists ideologies. Buy the way I'm a guy.

Answer 5

Feminism is not the problem, it is extremists from all walks that are the problem. Feminism is demonized, not for what it actually is, but by the actions of what I call Feminazis.

Some people (men & women) were raised in homes with traditional (read: now outdated) gender roles and expect it to be perpetuated throughout life and society in general. This number grows smaller daily and more and more children are being raised by single parents, mostly mothers.

If anything, feminism could have hurt women and the family dynamic more than it could have hurt men. Women have proved over the last half of a century that we can work full-time and be full-time moms...and that we can do it without men.

Some men truly do believe that they are superior to women, which tends to be rather disgusting. I think it all goes back to the way people were raised and what they have been exposed to through life experiences.

Answer 6

Most of us don't feel attacked by feminism as long as is not twisted like it is some peoples head. I believe women should be treated as equals. I also believe it's hard to know which women want what. I hear some women complain that chivalry is dead, while another woman yells at me for opening the car door for her. I know ya'll can open that door for yourself it's just a nice gesture. Some women expect it while the other berate you. So you tell me... What are the new rules of talking, behaving, helping and/or courting a female without pissing off someone who expected something else? My example is just to show the extreme that some people take their beliefs. Then leave us sitting there going what the hell do you want!

The woman who wrote the article from the link below says it best:
http://fathersforlife.org/pizzey/anti_fem.htm

Answer 7

Anytime you segregate yourself into a group because you feel someone else is leaving you out/thinks less of you, you are hurting your cause.

Why must feminist groups, or groups like the United ***** College Fund, or the Black Caucus, or Mothers Against Drunk Driving seperate themselves? Are we not all Americans? Are we not all in this fight together?

Maybe I am naive, I dont seperate people, everyone gets a fair shot, everyone gets the same respect. That is until you seperate yourself.

Before you reply, this is about groups, feminsists, scientists, racists, (if I add an -ist) all make big groups.

Men don't feel threatened. We think it is humorous that you have feminist beleifs and then call us rude when we don't hold the door for you, and think we are inconsiderate when we think you should run as fast, jump as high, work as hard, and lift as much as men. If you want to have girl power, and feminist beliefs, and be equal then get ready to be treated equally. I

treat all of you equally and laugh very hard wether I see a female or a male runing through the parking lot with a coat hanger because they need help getting their doors unlocked.

99% of feminists dont know how to change their oil, or wire a lightswitch.

Answer 8

In some fields where men's physical strength, stamina, and endurance are important, are vitally important (firefighting, police work, military service, EMTs, for example), men have been screwed out of a job because qualification criteria have been modified to make it easier for women to qualify so that employers can meet their gender equity quotas in hiring and avoid lawsuits.

I don't know about you, but if I need to be carried out of a burning building, I want the strongest, fastest person available to do that because that person is my best chance to get out alive. Nine times out of ten, that will be a man. If I fall off a cliff and break both legs and my back, I want the EMTs who are least likely to drop the stretched, again, men. I want the fastest cop available chasing after the rapist who has just bolted out of my house after I called 911 when I caught him breaking into my daughter's room. Another man.

In other jobs, where a man's physical strength makes him more effective (construction, heavy industrial manufacturing, agricultural labor, road work, auto mechanics) women cry about equal pay for equal work, when the truth is, they don't do equal work because they lack the phisical capability.

There are some women who can play with the big boys, but if you pick any two people off the street, the man is probably going to dig a ditch faster, move a 9' x 15' x 1/8" sheet of steel easier, carry a bushel of apples farther and faster, and change a tire easier than the woman.

So, in some jobs, men have been screwed and they have a right to be mad. Most women do not have the strength and stamina of most men.

We should have equal rights, but that dosn't mean we are equal. It is a fact of life. Get over it.

Answer 9

It depends on a guy, really. Some men are OK with it and actually like it. Isn't it easier to rely on two incomes rather than on one? Some hate it not having a little slave around the house - now they have to cook their breakfast by themselves and even stick their dirty socks in the washer and push the button.
Some think that their wife ran off because she had too much freedom, not because they happened to be senceless and at times cruel. Financial independence does set you free... That is, you don't have to put up with unacceptable.

I just read some of the answers. Another reason is - many men (and possibly women they are referring to) seem to have rather twised concept of feminism. Who said we don't need men? Who said we don't enjoy normal straight sex? We need (or don't need) men just as much as they need (or don't need) us. Treating each other with equal respect is the point of feminism. Getting back at all men of today's world for treating women unequally in the past few centuries is not the point.

Answer 10

I feel more attacked by a specific racist feminist who viciously attacks everyone and has subjected me to racist taunts then claimed to be black and who will no doubt continue to get thumbs up from the other feminists so long as what she's saying supports their movement.

EDIT

But to answer your question, I support feminism on a lot of legislative and policy questions, so I am not "anti-feminist". But I also think that feminist ideology, rhetoric, agenda-driven pseudo-science, et al, have undermined our Humanities and Social Sciences departments and contributed to the coarsening of our culture.

Answer 11

1) There is not enough room and I don't have time to list everything. (I doubt you'd accept or believe it anyway, so I'll not waste either or our time).

2) There is no such thing as "the patriarchy". If there was, I would have done far better financially, socially and legally.

If you still believe in "the patriarchy", please inform me where to sign up for all these special benefits I've been missing for the past half-century.