I really need guidance to help my sanity. My friend has been very clingy in the past few weeks because his life is basically falling apart. Heres a list of things that has happened to him:
1. His father passed away when he was in high school
2. His mom just had surgery
3. He just got kicked out of college
4. The girl he loves doesn't love him back
Every time I see him these are the only subjects he talks about. I tried being the good friend by listening to his problems but hell it gets really tiresome. I feel like crap afterwards and I start to feel depressed. I want to tell him to shut up but that will only further hurt him because in the past year we have developed a pretty close relationship. The problem is that I want to enjoy life but he seems to bring it down for me. What can I do to save my friendship without being a total a s s hole? Also I am getting tired of seeing him...I want to tell him I need space but he has no one to turn to.
2007-10-25 20:43:32 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Wow, your friend has gone through a lot. I think you should suggest for him to take mini vacation and just get away from everything. Tell him he should set rules for himself and for like two days he is not allowed to worry. Also, he should get professional help. He's probably never going to get over his dad's death and you should just accept that now. Remind him of how your friendship used to be and help him control the problems he can. Such as a girl doesn't love him back, he needs to move on. His mom got surgery, he should take care of her and help her anyway she needs it. He got kicked out of college, then he should figure out how to get into another one or something. If he isn't taking any steps in improving his life, then he just likes to complain and you need to tell him you are his friend and need attention too.
2007-10-25 21:04:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do a little research and find a group he can turn to with those specific problems in mind, either online or in your town... there are always groups for troubled people in these troubled times, and there will be one for your friend. There are at least 12 step programs for many needs, not just drugs and alcohol, but for grief, for PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome, which may be what your friend suffers right now along with some grief), etc. like that. A library can help.
If you have a carrot in one hand, ie. the information of where your friend can go to find good support-- then the 'stick' in your other hand, that of needing a little time to yourself to keep yourself out of depression-- will be taken much more easily... and I think that way the friendship will hold true in the end if it's meant to. Good luck with all this, and to your friend, too.
2007-10-26 03:54:33 · answer #2 · answered by LK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say "Dude, I get it, your life is crap. You need some fun. So I'll tell you what. While you're hanging out with me, it's going to be strictly fun. Let's go - play tennis, video games, surfing, parting, night clubbing, chasing women, etc.
Seriously buddy, you need a break from all this girlfriend, college. trouble at home crap."
"Your too good looking to be whining about a girl that don't love you, too smart to be whining about a college that doesn't love you. Your mom will recover faster if she knows you're doing well, and there's no way you're Dad wouldn't want you in a funk."
Got it. Your job as a friend is to not put up with this pointless wallowing in depression.
2007-10-26 04:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix Quill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋