when a male & female become parents , whos life changes the most?, the mum or dad?

Question

id have to say 100% it me, the mum
my hubby still works, goes to the gym, goes to concerts and anywhere he likes
i dont work anymore and seem to practically live in our house 23 hours a day!, i love being a mum, but i reckon the men have it alot easier, we mums get up through the night to clean vomit, and even if we r sick we still cook, clean and look after the kids, wheras the man will take a sicky and stay home to rest,
thats enough whinging for today, lol

lol, deserves a million thumbs ups !!! thats so true, hehehe

Answer 1

Mum, hands-down. For all the "progressive thinking" we claim to have done, the mentality is still overwhelmingly that a woman's job is the child-rearing (as well as the housekeeping). When a woman has her children with her, she is...well, with her children. When a man is with his children, people call it "babysitting." (I just saw an ad on tv a while ago which used that word to describe a dad with his own kids! Had it been a woman in the ad, people would have been like, "Oh, whose kids is she watching?")

AND, perhaps even more pointed, (and subtle), if we AREN'T able to cook/clean/watch the kids, etc., WE are responsible for finding someone who CAN. In other words, if we can't do "our job," we have to find a replacement. Does HE ask you, "Hey, honey, can you watch the kids while I go to a concert/gym/etc.?" No. It's assumed. But, if you just up and left, he'd be like, "Ummm...where are you going? Who's gonna watch the kids?" (You?) Sure someone above said her hubby is willing to "get up IF I ASK HIM," "make lunches...but I HAVE TO SUPERVISE," etc. Case in point: we still are in charge of asking, coordinating, and overseeing.

It is VERY unfair, and it ticks me off. Men play the "I don't know what I am doing" card, but really, we enable them. I believe the top scientists, computer whizzes, etc. and just about everything else are still headed by men (granted sexual politics play a part there too). Point being, if they can design a rocket, they can figure out how to clean a house, tend to a child, or, hell, just get off the ****ing couch!

I feel your pain, sister. Don't let him get away with it! Make HIM watch the kids while YOU go to the gym, concert, etc. It doesn't have to be 50/50 to the minute, but it should be fair.

I told myself I will NOT have children with any man until I can find one who will pull his weight. lol I am still childless! (I did get a puppy though, and amazingly enough, these issues--as I suspected they would--arose there. I did almost all of the care, cleaning up after, and coordinating of its needs--and still do. When we both were home, care "defaulted" to me in his mind. We're working thru them though, and only when he passes there will I consider a baby!)

Good luck with things, hon, and feel free to vent!!! After hours on end of children, you have every right!!!

Answer 2

A Mums Work is Never Done! God Bless The Mothers that are real Mothers and are there day and night and when the kids come home, and for sitting up hours on end worrying about all of us, any women can have a baby, but it takes a real women to be a Mother.
There are some Great Dads out there too, My Dad was the Greatest Dad in the Whole Wide World to me.
It's a give and take situation. I praise you for loving what you do,R.M. you are Special.

Answer 3

I would have to say it depends on the couple. My husband works and I am a stay at home mum but I think that my husband has sacrificed as much as I have for our kids. He does most of the cooking and a lot of house work too. If he sees a job that needs doing he does it. Just this week I woke up sick as a dog. He told me to go back to bed. He then got our twins ready for daycare, did all the house work, ask if there was anything I needed, went to the shops got everything I had asked for, picked the kids up from daycare, cooked dinner, bathed the kids, put them to bed and read them a bed time story. Most people say that I am lucky to have him (I 100% agree) and that there are not a lot of men like him out there but I think it comes down to choice. Mathew puts his family first before anything he wants and needs.

But after saying all that I think that in most cases it is the mum who's life changes the most.

Answer 4

Well... The mum boobs start to sag, the bags under her eyes get blacker, you now believe that when a baby cries, you turn into a milk machine. Mum is a one syllable word, so it is easier to say than dada. People ask if you are ever going to lose that gut on you. The Gym is your new word and no more Jim from across the street. Schools, games, recitals, college funds, dirty diapers are now part of your vocabulary. The pill is really important now to you. No sleep, No hot meals for you by the time you get to eat, ABCD and Mary had a little lamb are the songs stuck in you head now. Milk stains, poop and spit up is your new perfume for about 5 years.
Dad's will she shut up? will that kid ever stop crying? ewww, what's is this coming out of my playmates? Oh man, there's a cheerio in my shoe. What is this parental control block on my nuddie station? Babe, when are those pounds coming off? I have a meeting, I need my sleep? Why, do you always say you are not in the mood? Man, you look like crap, didn't get any sleep Hon? Why is there a grilled chese sandwich in my VCR? Hon, I'm hungry, can you finished that up soon. Why is there crayon on my breifcase? There's lego everywhere on the floor! There's spit up on my new tie!

Life does change, Women have now 2 kids to take care of, child and husband. Husbands complain more but still get their sleep. Women don't get to sleep for about 18 yrs.

Answer 5

100% TO THE MUMMIES!!
I work 3 mornings a week, but do about 95% of the work around here and the farm. I am the one that gets up 9 out of 10 times to the screaming children. Andrew has however does come home to the Superbitch every night.
However I do love my kids and wouldn't change a thing. I go to work to have my break!!

Answer 6

I'd say the Mom, but not for the same reasons. I think my husband has sacrificed almost as much as I have, but he does still get to go where he wants and when he wants. He sleeps in too! But I have to say that a lot of this happens because of me! If I ask him to get up with our son so I can sleep, he will. Then I get up to make sure he's taking care of him the right way. If I ask him to make him lunch, he will, but then I have to supervise him to make sure it's a well balanced meal. You get my point.

Answer 7

Mum, b coz she only takes care of the baby like worship mostly till that becomes few years old & not much dependent on anybody for everything. In this field dad is thrashly defeated.

Answer 8

I agree somewhat. I am a stay at home mom too so I know how much change happens. But my husband has to worry about going to work and trying and supporting his family. So everybody that has kids has had their life change one way or another

Answer 9

The Mum,
Definitely.
Most men, and I say MOST not ALL, usually don't get too distracted by it all.
A mothers first priority is her child.
Sometimes men don't like taking the back seat for a while, but when you have a child, your attention is on that child 100%
especially when they are young.

Answer 10

The Mum or Mom does