Alien: Knock knock.
Alec the Dalek: WHO'S.....THERE?
Alien: EXACTLY! Ha ha ha ha ha! (zaps Dalek with sonic screwdriver, knocks him out cold)
= = = = = == =
1 hour later......
Alien: Knock knock!
Alec the Dalek: Who's there?
Alien: Doctor.
Alec the Dalek: Doctor WHO?
Alien: Exactly! Gotcha AGAIN!! (zaps Dalek with sonic screwdriver, then displaces time and space around quadrant, sending Planet Skaros spiraling off orbit)
Alec the Dalek: AAaaaaiieeeee......!!!
2007-10-25 18:36:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
PUNS
Q: What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?
A: D'yathinkesaurus?
What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park your car in it man.
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What happened to the survivors of a red ship and a blue ship?
They were marooned.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Doctor: Have your eyes ever been checked?
Patient: No, they've always been blue.
If you are American when you go into a toilet and you're American when you come out of a toilet, what are you while you're inside a toilet?
European, of course.
Why is a pig's tail like getting up at three o'clock in the morning?
It's twirly.
What do you call an unemployed jester?
Nobody's fool.
What is a bigamist?
An Italian fog.
Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He's now fully recovered.
What about the grocer who backed into his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his orders.
What's the fear of meeting a fat man in a red suit in a confined space?
Santaclaustrophobia.
What's the fear of being asked, "Who goes there?"
Friendorphobia.
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?
Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird.
2007-10-26 13:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by Dolores & the prune 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office. Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too. The boss left and so did they. The brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The red head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left. The next day, the brunette and the red head are talking about going home early again. They ask the blonde if she wants to leave early again. - No, she says, yesterday I nearly got caught ! Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They've never met. A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!" Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant? A: Her feet! Q: Why did the blonde cross the road? A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!? A2: I don't know. R: Neither did she. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige." Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out on the screen. Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the white-out. A blonde saw a "¿" on her computer screen and asked another blonde, "How do you do that?" She responded . . . "Simple, turn the keyboard upside down!" One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!" I Want to Buy That A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
2016-04-10 06:32:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Puns:
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
She was engaged to a man with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
2007-10-25 18:43:45 · answer #3 · answered by Gonealot R 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
♥ lol omg you made me laugh.
i present the following scenario:
how about, a drunk alien comes to see alec at 2am?
alien: Knock, knock........
alec: who's there?
alien: oh dam*n you mean this isn't my house?
*cue* the dalek w/ another *zap*......
Alec: darn right, creep. learn to hold your tequilla.
ROFLmao! ♥
2007-10-25 18:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
K-K Joke:
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Aardvark.
Aardvark who?
Aardvark five hundred miles and Aardvark five hundred more just to be the man Aardvark one thousand miles to fall down at your door.
YADDA, YADDA!
Pun: This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Four bucks," says the bartender. "Put it on my bill."
2007-10-25 23:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by Ancient Brick 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bad knock-knock joke; you start it...
...who's there?
Bad Pun: I submitted 10 puns for a contest hoping at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
2007-10-25 18:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Knock, Knock.......
Who's there?........
We're agents with the Internal Revenue Service......
2007-10-26 00:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by wavryder ® 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Exactement mon ami!
2007-10-25 19:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by Shona L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I won't waste too much time by typing the whole thing, but I KNOW everyone has heard the - banana, banana, banana... 'orange' you glad I didn't say banana - gag.
2007-10-25 18:43:55 · answer #9 · answered by nytebreid 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo Who?
awwww you don't have to cry!!!!
2007-10-26 16:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by not at home 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋