I m jst married and completed 10 months. I hv no issue with my husband as i m totally satisfied with him. But my problem is my parents in law. They are good in nature but still they are creating problems in my life. We 4 people stay in very small 1 room and in that fly also, for small things, my mother in law get upset do not talk to me for 4-4 days. I say if i m mistaking anywhere she/ he should tell me directly, but they dont. they tell the same things to my husband... and he dont say anything to them because they are very emotional & gets hurted very soon. She dont give me work, whilist i say her give me a work. I am ready to hard work, bt she dont give me & she tells everyone that i dont work, behind me...which is wrong according to me. when i came to know she tells such behind me, i have started working independetly. But still she comes in between, doesnt allow me to work. If i tell to hubby, he dont react & jst say do whatever u wan. & many other pblms, cant specify pls suggest
2007-10-25 17:28:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Suicide is not the solution to your problem or infact any problems. Infact when you runaway from the problem, the problem will keep chasing you but facing it will knock the problem from your life & you will be a more matured person.
Don't worry this is a Ghar Ghar Ki kahani & everyone goes through this including me. Your M-I-L's problem is very common. She still wants to be the most important person in her son's life. She's feeling insecure because you have entered her son's life & that you may try to make them seperate. I understand what she is doing to you is wrong. But as the days go by she'll soon realise her folly. She hardly knows you but as you spend time with her ignoring her comments/behaviour she slowly get to like you. Meanwhile you can keep doing your job which will keep your mind engaged & less time between you two for conflicts. About her not letting you to cook it's again her insecurity. All these years it had been her kitchen. She was the homemaker & now she scared that you might dominate the kitchen.
So don't take her comments personally & keep treating her like your own mother. There are worst cases of how the M-I-Ls treat the D-I-Ls. If you see them, you will find your case nothing compared to those. Maybe she'll change after you give birth to a child.
2007-10-25 20:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by lynette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you told that you 4 people stays in one room. This mean there is no piracy between you and your husband. Same with your M-I-L. So look for a house where you people live in your room and enjoy life. Before your marriage Your MIL who live alone in that room (considering your father in law and husband moves out of home for work) now have to be shared by you. You have entered in her piracy. Might be she would have some planned which was not fulfilled at the time of marriage. That may be the reason fur her rudeness towards you. Solutions what I feel is that instead of living in one room change your house and give a baby to your mother in law that will engage her and help in removing her rudeness.
2007-10-26 19:45:05 · answer #2 · answered by Saurabh G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband will never disband his parents and stay separately with you. You got one or two Trump cards to play .
1 > In Bed >>>>>
Tell him that you are not prepared to have a baby due to the following reasons : bla bla bla bla happening in the house and could not bear to see the child neglected by taking over the house chores. Any man for the pleasure of sex will agree to any demands . History had proved it.
2> Having said that , next go out and look for a job . The job satisfaction is not for the money , but to be away from your in laws from morning till 6pm. Of course , back from work , you are equally tired like your hubby , so drag your feet at home. Simply ignore their presence and become deaf ,
Your in laws by then will HAVE to understand and without loosing pride will come to a compromise. Give a try and good luck !!!!!!!
2007-10-25 19:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by jjshri ram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont think like that..death is not the solution otherwise half of the world wud like to have premature death, same time its only 10 months . so in some cases it may take some time to adjust with each other & with family members...most of the time when one get married , they are having a imagination abt the future spouce & family...& one may not find same after marriege ...so it is the reason that most of the time we begining to think that..its an end of life...so try to accept what u have & try to get adjusted but having said that...if u really beleive that...u cant do it then u shud think abt other alternatives like separation ...if u dont have child then this option is also open for u ...but u shud try to get adjust with diffrent attitude ..as there is no assurance that , after being separated also u will get what u had imagine.
2007-10-25 17:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shall we first assume that people have a soul. if it is so who's to assert the soul has to flow everywhere as quickly as the physique dies? The clinical answer may be the transferee of capability and remember. between the pillars of technological know-how is each little thing comes from something and you cant make something with no longer something. So via this regulation as quickly as we die our physique is transferred lower back into the universe we decompose and become earth we are blended with the soil and make plant existence we furnish the gasoline for existence to proceed. If we in reality have a soul would desire to this capability/remember no longer additionally transferee in some way? according to threat our soul is in reality the present we supply lower back as quickly as we die, existence.
2016-11-09 12:16:01 · answer #5 · answered by tschannen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would assume that you are not in the usa? if you could get your husband to arrange for you and your mother-in-law to be alone so that you can talk to her and pour your heart out to her, that may start the healing.
you know, some people are just miserable and they get enjoyment from seeing others in pain and miserable as well.
wanting to die is not healthy. if at all possible, stay away from your in-laws as much as possible - go outside, sit by a window and read.
continue to do your fair share of house work even if she comes behind you and redoes it. try to get satisfaction in doing what you do well and smile to yourself if she insists on redoing it. i just said a pray for you. good luck!
2007-10-25 18:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll keep treating you like that until you get in her face and tell her to knock it off. He is YOUR HUSBAND and you are HIS WIFE. The mother doesn't get a say.
Find a new living arrangement immediately.
2007-10-25 17:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
out and away from parents in law!,,,that´s the only way out:....
In many other cases should be something to do, like talking or negotiating, but not in your case, that is a bad situation putting an end to your marriage--Sorry....
2007-10-25 17:37:51 · answer #8 · answered by jackielafemme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your husband need to move out and live alone away from the family. As long as you live with family, regardless of who's family, there are going to be problems.
2007-10-26 03:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
besibes other problems i am inquesitive how u two make love
in a room wher ur parents in laws are also present
2007-10-25 21:13:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋