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IM WRITTING A SONNENT AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BUT IT JUST DOSNT FEEL OR SOUND RITE COULD SOMEONE MAKE SOME HELPFUL CRTIIZIM I knew I was in love with him the first time I saw
I knew that he was the only one for me
I would break any rule or law
provided, i was the one, he would see
I tried so hard to get his attention
laughing, giggling, smiling
so much that I landed in detention

“he must hate me now“, I thought
then just yesterday I dropped my books there
and that is where I saw him, sitting nearby
he picked them up and winked!
“its only fair I love you “
he said and that made want to me cry

He’s angelic face looking in to mine
I took a deep breath and knew everything was fine

2007-10-25 17:12:09 · 1 answers · asked by pjg898 2 in Education & Reference Homework Help

1 answers

The problem with your sonnet is that it is not in iambic pentameter, and it does not use the required rhyme scheme. The ideas are good, though.
http://www.sonnets.org/basicforms.htm

I'll try to recast your first 4 lines into iambic pentameter with an abab rhyme pattern:

I knew he was the only one for me
And I would trample any law or rule
If only it were me that he would see.
But foolish were my efforts in the school . . .

If this or another answer here proves helpful in your research, you can encourage good answers by choosing one answer as the "best answer."

Cheers,
Bruce

2007-10-25 17:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by Bruce 7 · 1 0

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