Why 'should' women wait for a proposal?

Question

I didn't. I asked my partner to marry me and he said "Yes, but let's wait 6 months to make sure before we tell anyone." I said, sure. What's 6 months really? Turned out fine. I think when a woman asks a man it's less pressure because women are not obligated to by expensive rings and beg (on one knee). I think the traditional proposal is too much pressure for women because it's not true that every woman is dreaming about marriage. In fact, a lot of women these days don't even want it. Perhaps women should start asking men for marriage more often.

The only reason for this tradition that I can think of occured when women were dependent on men and needed them to survive, so instead of chasing men for their oh so 'natural' provider skills (haha!), men had to ask women or it was demeaning. Not so much now that we know that women are natural providers and our society is reverting back to such behavoir.

I say women are the natural providers because of you look at hunting and gathering societies, you see that most women do the gathering and care for the children. The hunters do not catch food everyday and the majority of food supply is provided by women, children and men who are too old to go out and hunt. Some women did hunt though and it's debated whether or not if men simply hunted and women did both.

This is not a 'women's lib' update, go **** yourself. I'm asking a question about tradition.

Answer 1

I'm sorry, I think you're a smart cookie but I also think you're full of hooie. There's a good reason why women shouldn't ask men on dates, and shouldn't ask men to marry them. And if you don't know what that is, you'll find out about 6 months after you're married.

See you then.

Answer 2

I quote Tevya form Fiddler on the Roof " Tradition!!...... Ehhhh". Tradition should only be carried if its in your best intrest. It should be pitched if it makes no sense and it hurts people. How fine did things turn out if you have that kind of prjudicial attitude towards men? Your relationship stands to be very imbalanced if that was your belief at the beggining.

Answer 3

I guess I must be very old-fashioned...but I rather have my man propose to me. I found it very romantic and keep the memory as a treasured thing. We even have our "special" song and we go back -each year- to the same place where he proposed five years ago. I'm very open and liberal in many other aspects of my life, but when it comes to proposing or asking out, I rather be asked than ask.

Answer 4

I dont think theres anything wrong with a woman proposing, screw traditional people should do what they feel and not live by society's standards (at least not ones as trivial as proposals, Im not talking about saying screw society and runnning around killing people). I personally commend you, especially because he said YES!. Congrats on the engagement and good luck :)

Answer 5

Hostile, telling someone to go **** themselves? Opinions are what you get on here.
Since you think that men are subserviant beings there for your disposal, I guess you have answered your own question.

Men do not get down on one knee to beg, we are not DOGS waiting for you to throw us a frickin` bone here. We do it out of respect , and our feeling of true love towards the lady whom we are asking.

Looks like you had to ask someone to marry you, judging by your additional details I`d say you`d be lucky to be asked by any self-respecting man who does not choose a controlling woman.

Answer 6

I don't mean to imply that men do not love the women that propose marriage to them ,but I do think because of the reasons that I mention below it should concern any woman that proposes marriage to a man.Please don't scorn my opinion this is for each woman to decide on their own ,but it is indeed something to think about. I can think of several reasons as to why women should'nt ask men to marry them . I asked my husband of 14 years to marry me ,and it is a decision I will allways regret ,with any marriage we have had our good times and bad times ,and I know he loves me, BUTT IT HURTS when I see women on tv ,or my friends being proposed to and the husband goes out of his way to show his woman how much he loves her and wants to marry her ,IT HURTS knowing my husband did not love me enough to ask me to marry him ,IT HURTS that I cannot fully trust my husband because of the commitment issues he had the first few years of marriage ,IT HURTS that I had to be the one concerned with getting the little diamond on my finger.IT HURTS knowing that more often than not i am the rock in this marriage being that I am more commited at making this marriage work.At the time I didn't care about tradition or what people thought ,I demeaned myself .I have two daughter's I allway's tell them any man you have to chase is not worth catching ,because unlike women , by nature it does not come natural for a man to love and want to be committed to only one woman for the rest of his life ,that is why a woman must know that a man loves her enough and shows her he is serious enough to want a commitment with her ,and he does that with the purchase of a ring and asking her to marry her in a way that shows her he is being sincere.I love my husband and him me but I will allway's wonder if I cheated myself out of a marriage with a man that would have loved me more ,a man that loved me enough to propose to me.

Answer 7

if he says let wait another six month with a sure scheduled wedding date,its okay to wait.but if we wait with a hanging date of wedding then u must think,if u love him that much,you may wait,but if u think he is not worth waiting then find another option to ask him if really want to get married with u.goodluck.

Answer 8

i feel like you do what youre heart tells you ! and i dont think women should wait for the guy to propose to them the women can do it and it would take the pressure off the men lol i think its great you asked youre soon to be husband congrats.

Answer 9

What good does it do? Most men are not like us. If we ask them they will say no. I can't understand men today. It's hard to find someone with the same interest. Men will do complete opposite to us.

Answer 10

Excellent....congratulations. :) I try to not bow to tradition.....seems a bit archaic. My husband proposed, but only because he beat me to the punchline.