Have you ever missed someone so much that it hurts?

Question

I moved to NY and my ex is in LA,I won't be moving back to LA until April.The reason he is my ex is because, well we weren't ready to be in a relationship, and long distance relationships don't work anyway.Since we aren't together dating other people is an issue we try not to get into because we both believe if your not with someone they are free to live how they want (crazy I know, but please do not judge us.)Anyway, we talk on the phone everyday for hours at a time.Nothing has changed since I came out here last month, we still love each other and have hopes of being in a relationship ONE DAY. We are still young, 21, and don't want to rush into anything and do anything we'll regret. So we are taking it slow.The problem is though, even though we may be dating others.The pain of being so far runs deep. I miss him so much that it hurts.I know that in life there's no guarantees and us getting back together is no exception. I refuse to lose hope, Am I crazy for having faith in us?

Answer 1

I'm going through something very similar... my ex and I broke up about a month ago because she felt she wasn't ready for a serious relationship and my family was being a little unfair to her... we agreed we could date others... she's with another guy and I'm still single because I can't take the pain of being with someone else when I love her....the thing is we talk everyday and she tells me she loves me, that she "likes" the guy she's with but that she'll always love me but that things are difficult... and I know they are... I tell her I love her too and that I hope to be with her one day... I'm moving away in August about 10 hours north of where I live... probably for 4 years and coming down like once a month to visit family, etc... and you know what... I HAVE FAITH IN US... and so should you, never give up on love... ever... have "Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest of these is Love" there are guarantees in life... I can guaranteed that unless you risk it and go for it... you won't get back together... The worst shot to miss is the one you never take... keep fighting and if you fail you can say you tried... good luck with this and God bless you... "The best thing to do is the right thing, the second best thing to do is the wrong thing and the worst thing to do is nothing" F. Roosevelt...

Answer 2

absolutley not. A lot of people try to tell you that having a long distance relationship is impossible and it will never work and blah blah blah but everyone is different. If you both adress that things will be hard and can accept that, try your best to talk everyday (Like you clearly already do), and let things happen naturally, it wont be that hard. My boyfriend goes to Emerson college in Boston and I am in Maryland. It has been hard, but we have made it work because, like you said, we have a true connection that we didn't want to just throw away without trying long distance because other people said it wouldnt work. As long as you have faith in the relationship, that is what matters. If you both love eachother this much and don't even feel comfortable dating other people, then fear is the only thing in your way and there is no reason for it.
Also, I know exactly what you mean about having physical pain over missing someone. Sometimes I literally shake because I haven't been in contact with him for so long or I just feel a pain that is unexplainable. I actually think that this sort of longing is pretty cool because, although depressing, it shows that my mind and body both yearn for him and only him. If both of you feel that way, I don't think it would be rushing things if you were to be in a relationship because it sounds like you already have the basics down.

Answer 3

I dont think anything about what you wrote sounds crazy . I think alot of people will rush into things , you should savor what you have with him now and take it one day at a time . Now to answer the question ..... Has anybody ever missed somebody so much it hurts ..... YESSSSS my hubby (married 4 years at the time) started a job and it required him to travel out of stae . We had never been apart and I was very young and his first time out on the road he was gone for 3 WEEKS . Some nights I would cry myself to sleep and it would feel as if my heart was really and truely hurting . I felt lost without him , we hadnt ever been away from each other (not even over night) . It will get better and hope is never lost as long as you love each other . I am going to close this with a Old saying ....... absence makes the heart grow fonder !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck to you

Answer 4

Some long distance relationships do work. I was in another state waiting for my divorce to be final and waited a whole year before getting married and moving in with my -now- husband. Yes, I missed him so much it hurt very badly. I used to cry myself to sleep sometimes, or cried in the shower so my baby boy wouldn't see me crying. It's true when people say that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Keep in touch, keep reminding yourselves how much you love each other. Give him words of encouragement and make him believe that you're strong. Repeat "We'll soon be together" until both of you believe it. In the meantime, learn to live your life without him. Think that these experiences teach us to be independent and self-sufficient. Whatever happens you will come out of this being a stronger. more independent woman.

Answer 5

Yes I have, and still do sometimes. You sound like a smart person and you are right not to rush into anything but long distance relationships can work if both people want them too bad enough. You are not crazy for having faith because lots of couples have been apart and gotten back together. My husband and I are one of them.

Answer 6

Faith without action is worthless. If you love each other this much, why wait, when tomorrow may never come? And if tomorrow didn't come for one of you, how would the other feel, knowing they could have done this or done that? It's true life has no guarantees, but it does have choices. And even when you think you aren't making one, you just did. Good luck to both of you. I hope you get together for good!

Answer 7

If you want to know your real love and affection, you can do one thing, it will be painful only , but later on you will be happy. You both can separated already physically and talking through phone hours together, is it right. Now I want to check you both NOT TO TALK FOR ONE MONTH, and suffer without the other partner. If you still feel that you are important after one month , I do not want to continue my letter, you can do whatever you want. Will do this and let me know the result,

Answer 8

first of all, long distance relationships can work. i know because i had one for four years. i'm still in the relationship and we're going on seven years.

you are not crazy for having hope. that's a beautiful thing. but you have to find a balance between having faith and knowing when to let it go.

Answer 9

ok their is no guarantees in life its made up of choices and how you choose to live it and also if yall are seeing other people he could fall in love with some one else eventually then what are you gonna do ? and you should have faith in yall ! when you move back you need to talk to him about yall and see what he says and then go from their good luck just dont take too long because you could loose him

Answer 10

If you feel this strongly for him, then maybe there's something still there. You should reevaulate your decision and figure out whether staying broken up is really a solution. If you're still together in every way but physically, are you broken up?
THink about it.
And let him know how much you miss him.