About a month ago, my I found emails from my husband to another woman. I asked him he came forward. He had meet up with the woman about four times and they talked through email. I saw this as cheating... Even though they both say noting happen. Yes, they did talk about getting together. I was a faithful wife.... I was like at my husbands feet doing anything he wanted and never would I have guess my husband would have cheated. I thought our relationship was fine not in danger.... So my question is how can this happen? Dont he love me? How can I tell if he wants our relationship?
2007-10-25 16:38:08 · 22 answers · asked by mother of two 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Like I said I did find the emails, they were kind of friendly. Mostly talked about the people they knew... One email the girl said she wish she was me, she wants to take my spot... He told me they met at the same place I seen on the emails. Just places like starbucks... Yes, I want my relationship we have been married for 7 years I knew him for 11. But now it makes me feel like he could leave. I never had this thought before. Next, it has caused me to email many men. Which I feel bad. I want my husband but....
2007-10-25 18:01:07 · update #1
YOU don't wait around for him to decide if he wants the relationship or not; YOU go change the locks the next time he leaves the house, then file for divorce and take everything he's got. Cheating is a dealbreaker. Start planning on how you'll spend all that money.
He's a dirtbag, sweetie. Let him go.
Edit: this is for "some person's" answer above me: whether that's true or not, you don't CHEAT. You LEAVE. She doesn't deserve to be cheated on.
2007-10-25 16:43:50 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Yes, it is cheating - it was sneaky, lying, and hurt you. He has proven you cannot trust him. What did the emails say? Was it sexual? If so, they are probably lying... Men who cheat can get a disease and give it to you. It's dangerous conduct.
Did he, in front of you, tell her not to contact him by phone, email, text msg., in person, at work by any method? If so, then, he probably sees his error.
There needs to be some consequences, like, maybe:
He needs accountability with the cheating and computer usage. Perhaps, he should confess this to a minister or counselor.
The woman's husband should be told, too, so he can be aware on his end.
You need to set up some boundaries with him (because he probably got carried away on the computer, flirting, etc.) such as limit the amount of time spent on the computer.
His free time should be accounted for, and he should always be available on his cell phone to you.
I knew a guy whose wife looked like Miss America and he still cheated - you cannot control it.
If you have no children, you may want to dump the cheater now, before you have children.
Read the divorce busters book - there are a lot of ideas in there.
Blessings and love to you.
2007-10-26 00:04:29 · answer #2 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find yourself before you do anything else. Work through the pain and find out what you want. Forget what he wants. This guy cheated on you. There is no excuse for that. If he was so unhappy he should have left you, not cheated. He probably does love you. But he may love himself just a little more. Get your self respect back. Doing everything a man wants may sound like a dream to them, but most men really want someone who can stand on their own two feet. So get yourself off the floor and find yourself. Then you will know what to do.
2007-10-25 23:50:10 · answer #3 · answered by Kima 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's thinking with the wrong head and wants you to believe that he met another woman 4 times already but nothing happened. They must of sat around and talked about the weather. You need to make it perfectly clear that after what he did, there is no more relationship and marriage with him, it's over for good!
2007-10-26 00:03:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Internet makes it easier for people to cruise around looking for someone else, or for excitement or sexual meetings...
If your husband and this woman were emailing, he was not cheating (but he was probably considering it).
It happens because the internet is for porn for a lot of men, and for meeting other women to fulfill sexual fantasies, etc.
I am sure your husband loves you, or he would not be there. You can figure out if he wants the relationship by asking him to talk with you and ask him what he wants... marriage or internet girls?
I don't know what else to say, except i hope it works out for you, hon.
2007-10-25 23:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Have you consider thinking that there are actually some things that you dont provide and made him find someone else who can? im sure he loves you and still want this relationaship cause he never mention on leaving you...or anything like that!..
Have a talk with him a nice talk ...see whats up with him..is there something lack in your relationship that his not getting..
2007-10-25 23:55:01 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Something is definately taking place in order for your husband to search out and meet up with another woman. The only way of getting to the bottom of it is to discuss this with him and having him be totally honest. Only your husband can answer these questions for you, not this answer line. Has your life become boring and predictable....do you spend nights out with just the two of you? Couples NEED to have one on one together regularly to keep that feeling going...they stop giving each other one on one attention due to endless responsibilities...BUT you can change it by making dates and making each other a priority. I wish you the best!
2007-10-25 23:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he was planning on meeting up with this woman it sounds like he has one foot out the door already. Do you want to always be worrying that any day he can take the next step and go through with it? If he was talking to her on line and planning to meet up he will find someone else to talk to and meet up with.
2007-10-25 23:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
so when they met 4 times what were they doing? playing cards? it is pure cheating and i agree with that woman down there - maybe he is just bored. u didn¨t write how old u both are. but if u re in your mid thirties this is exactly the age of boredom. mostly if u re in long term relationships cheating starts at that age. divorse too
2007-10-26 00:01:30 · answer #9 · answered by yeahright 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd tell him to take a walk. Once they cheat, they'll always do it. No matter how good you are to them. I think most the time, if your a B... you get treated better. Negative attitude, I know, but I swear, the more nice you are to a guy, the more they will shi.....all over you, and vice versa. Know your boundaries and don't take ANY crap!
2007-10-26 00:42:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋