My future husband and I use to do drugs together 7 years ago when we were in middle school, We have both grown from that and come back to each other and we are getting married in December, How do I convince my mother that he is not the same guy he use to be 7 years ago?
I am 19 and I know that I am young and I still have college, I have thought about everything someone needs to think about before getting married. I know that there are other guys out there and guys I will meet in college, but I love him, I always have and he's the one that I've always wanted to be with, even when i was in other relationships. Divorce is not even an option with us. He is in the army right now about to go to Iraq this summer and we are getting married the end of December before I go off to school. we really want to do this right and not elope
My mom hates to talk about it and everyone tells me that these kinda things never work out.
I've prayed about it and I've got a peace about this whole thing.
2007-10-25 16:09:20 · 9 answers · asked by tickerspam 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You see ppl would tell you that things would never work out but i dont believe that crap and so do you ....and all you need to believe and keep in your everyday mind it can work out soo well and just fine its you and him in this till the rest of your lives ,it is hard to convince your mother to like him so i suggest theres really nothin else you can do to make them like him..remember everyone is against you so they would always try to put you both down hoping you both will not work things out good ....
this is a challenge in live for both of you , hold on and be strong cause at the end of the day once they see you both are serious and they can see that you both love each other ...they would start to except the fact that you both are serious and all grown ups.
good times will come be patient and be strong hold on to what you love dont let anyone put you both down...even your family cause now both of you are getting married you have your own family by the time your married and thats who you need to stand up for ...your husband..!
Dont let anyone break you both apart ...!and there are gonna be more challenge coming for you and your husband to be...
congrats...to you both and wishing you all the best!
2007-10-25 16:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire the fact that you see some of the obstacles in this, and that you both got away from the drugs, but let me mention a few more things to consider. First, there is a very high rate of divorce among many couples who marry before finishing college because of the college itself and because your life style will change tremendously between where you are now and where you will be when you graduate and start to work in your chosen field, especially if that field is either medicine or law -80% rate of divorces in those areas according to one study I saw.
Next, because he is going to Iraq, although the majority of those who serve over there remain faithful to someone here, after facing horror that they sometime see some men do end up in affairs over there or are not the same person when they return because of all they see there.
If you both understand and accept these two basic things, among a few others, the marriage may be fine, but if you wait until he returns and you at least begin school and then get married if you still feel the same at that point, I think the marriage will be far stronger and have a better chance of survival than if you marry in December because you will have faced and overcome a major obstacle to your happiness.
Good luck to you whatever you decide to do and I wish you both happiness.
2007-10-25 23:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to first understand where your mother is coming from. 19 is awfully young for marriage, then in addition to that you add the deployment and away time to that, I mean that is alot for a young couple to handle. Even, much older more seasoned couples sometimes crumble under those circumstances. So she may not be trying the keep you from the love of your life but she is trying to protect you from the pain she knows can happen.Over 50 percent of marriages end in the divorce, and most of them probably have less hurdles starting out. So she is in a sense just trying to it real. But this is ultimatley your decision, and if you have thought about it, and prayed about and this is what you feel is right, than take that and go with GOD! Ultimatley this is your life, although you always want to respect your parents opinion bc most of the time they are coming from a place of love, but you have to make your own decisions for your life. Now I know you said you thought about but you may want to consider marriage counseling bc sometimes they are things you don't think about that arise. But either way good luck to you! and congratulations on your engagement!
2007-10-25 23:21:11 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can convince your mom he isn't the same guy, that is not for you do do, he will have to prove himself to her before she changes her mind.
I also think 19 is too young to get married. You are an adult and old enough to live with the choices you make. If you were my daughter the only thing I would ask is that you wait till you graduate from college before you get married.
Your heart is telling you yes. What is your head telling you?
2007-10-25 23:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie Pink 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every daughter must make a choice between her mother and her man, at some point.
Once the daughter chooses the man, the mother will back off.
Adversaries can make your relationship stronger.
p.s. There is something romantic about soldiers getting married before going off to war... best wishes!
2007-10-25 23:48:25 · answer #5 · answered by daughter four 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother understands what being 19 is like and that unless you're an exceptional young woman you're way to young to get married.
Your mother will eventually have to back off since you're determined to do this anyway......and in my opinion that's too bad.
2007-10-25 23:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you cant change her mind maybe but over time maybe he can prove to her and you that hes a different person.. also fair warning if hes going to be going over seas its going to be hard on both of you and are you willing to put yourself though that without each other.. if he loves you and you love him then why not wait and see how things go for you both due to your both going to be having new experiences that can be hard enough without one going to war.. please take more time to think about the furture and if you all love each other as much as you say it will stand the test of time.. good luck
2007-10-25 23:19:27 · answer #7 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that when he comes back from Iraq, he will be a differ ant person.
Good luck.
2007-10-25 23:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to convince anyone but yourself.
2007-10-25 23:16:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋