how do I control my anger?

Question

I have alot of anger but I don't do anything about it. My whole family has anger issues. My dad beat my brother and mom. My mom use to call me all these cus words and she threw a salt-shakker at my head and chipped my tooth (i got it fixed) but i was only 7 and shes pushed me a few times and my step-dad hit me....but only 2 times, she also kicked me out of her house (my mom and dad got divorce) and I had to move in with my dad and brother and I didn't even do anything, she put her hand up to slap me and I told her I'd call the police if she did so she kicked me out. My brother is a football player and thinks hes so cool and is mean to everyone (including me) and has the worst anger problems ever I can't even explain how angery he gets. I'm know as the 'sweet' one but I can feel myself getting so mad I'll start shaking and crush something in my hand. I don't act on my anger i keep it in but its affecting me and I was wonder does anyone know how to relax when you get mad...oh and I'm 13

Answer 1

I know how that is. My dad kicked me in the face for something Trivial when I was little once. And yes, my anger is somewhat... Well yes. I know how you feel. Just so much anger awaiting to explode at any given time. Funny part is, its better to just collapse on your bed and just cry. Just let it all go. You might feel a lot better after that. And yes, I'm a guy. I have no reservations in admitting that I used to do that when I was so angry.

Of course, your anger can be used to do various things. You can vent it the good way via exercise. If you like crushing things, you could go to the gym and hit on a sandbag. Dancing and whatnot helps you to relax and keep your mind of things as well.

But a good temporary cure is to lock yourself in your room, let go, and just... collapse on the bed and cry. Just don't scream out loud is all. Cheers. If you need anything, drop a mail.

Answer 2

Wow. Anyone with that type of family history needs some one on ne, and maybe even group therapy. Since you are 13, and still in school you can talk to your school counselor about those things. Basically, anger is a secondary emotion. It means, you feel angry to cover up your true feelings. There are some instances where it truly is a primary feeling, but not often. Find out what you are really feeling and then work on that issue. Example. Maybe you are angry because you feel belittled, not enough, not big, helpless. The way you would work on that is by gaining some self esteem. Basically, concentrate on the positive things in your life, focus on those things, hang around positive people. Negative people spread their vibes very quickly. Just try to stay around people who are caught up in Solution. Find God. If you already have, then talk to Him. Ask him to give you an answer only you can hear, or to speak to you in a way that only you will understand. If you aren't to that point yet with your relationship with Christ, go to a church and speak with someone there.

Answer 3

You've taken the first step by realizing you have an anger problem, and no wonder with everyone around you having anger problems. It's good that you don't always act on your anger, but you need to release it, and sometimes you should act on it. But acting on anger doesn't mean beating up anyone, and not giving it an outlet gives you the shakes. You should talk to your pastor, school counselor, school social worker, some adult you trust and work on ways to defuse and deal with your anger. Remember, your attitude needn't be a reflection of those around you. Sometimes it is necessary to talk to people who make you angry, but not to shout and scream at them. That is using self control, and is better than always bottling it up. However, it may not be possible to talk with those around you with their own anger problems.

Answer 4

It sounds like you have reason to be angry. Talk to someone you trust about it...like an adult....
Take deep breaths. Do something physical, like dancing.
Good luck

Answer 5

I think you need to get into some therapy. What would really help is for you to get out of that situation.