I knew my boyfriend loved to drink before we got together, but that's your typical army guy. He's been out of the army for a year now, but continously drinks. He's never mean, he's actullay more lovey-dovey when he drinks, never hit me. Why does it bother me so much? I don't drink that often, once in a blue moon because its just something I don't like to do that often. He doesn't drink to get drunk, but he will drink 3 or more mixed drinks a night & I know he's bigger than me & it takes a lot more for him to get drunk than me, but it bothers me. Can anyone tell me why I let it bother me so much? I've confronted him a few times about his drinking problem & he says he'll cut back & does for a few days, then it starts up again. I feel like I'm nagging him. I don't know what to do; He never hurts me & is never mean to me.He did drugs & everything before the army & now all he does is drink. I feel like a nagging girlfriend.
2007-10-25 15:21:17 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like an addiction to me, or he is on the verge. Ask him to try and go one entire month without drinking and see what happens. He will say he doesn't have to prove anything to you, so he wont do it. There lies the cop out.
What is worse is that anytime something goes really wrong, instead of coping, he will just drink more.
You cannot force someone to admit to an addiction or get help. You may want to contact your local AA chapter just for support or information, but it is a hard call since he isnt a crazy drunk...yet.
He needs a better way to let go of stress...
2007-10-25 15:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that it's bothering you because you know that drinking is an addiction. If someone doesn't try to stop an addiction, the addiction only gets worse.
My ex husband is an alcoholic. The alcohol changed his personality so much that, not only did I not want to be around him, our 2 kids didn't want to be around him. He was never physically abusive, but he became very verbally abusive.
Living with an alcoholic is very unpleasant - that's the nicest way I can think of to phrase it. You have to decide if you want to spend your life that way. If you don't, then you need to get yourself away from him, and the sooner the better.
Maybe you should go to an AA meeting , one for the families of alcoholics, and listen to their stories. That way you will have a better idea of how bad it is for the family in that situation. By doing this, you will understand why his drinking bothers you like it does.
If he won't admit that he has a problem, you can't help him. He has to want help before he can get better.
2007-10-26 04:36:49 · answer #2 · answered by grahod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he able to keep a job? Is he good to you? Does he get drunk? If no to these then why does it bother you? If his drinking doesn't interfer with his life and his job and how he treats you , then maybe he just likes drinking ! My spouse drinks at home everynight but only beer, He doesn't drink to get drunk , he keeps a job, he doesn't drink and drive !!! never !!! he doesn't drink with friends and stay out all night ! He just watches T.V. and has some beers! He works all day and almost everday So if he enjoys it and he is good to me and a good man and pays the bills , then why would i fuss at him about drinking !! Plus you can't make anyone stop drinking if they are addicted to it either ! they would have to want to stop for themself !! You should never nag him about that only makes it worse !! If he is getting drunk and stuff and you cant handle it then you would have to decide if you want to be with him or not ? Loving someone is excepting them the way they are !! You can't change anyone !!! so why try? You can only change you , and if you don't like it then you can change it by leaving him if thats what you want . thats all , just being honest about it!!
2007-10-25 23:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
because you probably feel as if the drinking is more important that you are to him, and know what.. it could be true.. someone who insist on drinking and even if they act OK when they are drinking,.. it still means that they are looking to get a break from reality and everyday.. he must be unhappy in someway and therefore... the drinking is taking the place of talking to you and being the person he needs to be for you.
2007-10-25 23:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by caligrl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its bothering you because your whole body is telling you this .. Only poverty and deceit is awaiting you Your bf has a serious drinking problem and he doesnt do nothing to take control of it . Very soon you will cry lots of tears if you dont dump this alcohlic
2007-10-25 22:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋