I've spent the last few years denying my homosexuality and trying to find out why I am the way I am. I don't think I was born gay, but rather a combination of being raised primarily by females, of having no father or father figure, of being teased and called a f**got in middle school for four years, and of admiring other males to learn how to act like a "man, all helped make me a homosexual. Most of these circumstances were well beyond my control and have shaped who I am in so many other aspects of my life as well.
But in the end, does it really matter how I became gay, now that I am willing to accept that I am exclusively attracted to men and therefore a homosexual?
2007-10-25 15:10:28 · 17 answers · asked by Connor 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
it's kind of like digging up all the bodies buried in the back yard (a difficult job) and then just leaving them there?.....?
well, it beats just pasting a smile on your face and saying "i'm fine" over and over....
ps I wish you the best in your search. best to u
2007-10-25 15:36:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the end as long as you accept yourself it doesn't matter.
But really, do you know how many boys are called the f word in school? Just about everyone at some point and they don't end up gay because of that, so I think that reason is pretty silly.
I don't particularly think admiring men makes you gay either, straight men can admire another man without being sexual or physically attracted to them.
You can explain some aspect of it maybe with what went on, but unless you used to be attracted to girls, I really don't believe you have any valid explanations for the physical attraction. But really, whatever helps you sleep at night I guess.
2007-10-25 22:21:47 · answer #2 · answered by The Smile Man 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO it does not matter... You are who you are! I dont agree with some of the situations you think may have made you gay. Dont make excuses just enjoy what you have accepted, gay, homosexual...or whatever you call it. I for many years tried to hide the fact that I was attracted to women. Went as far as getting married, but that didnt last. I was too afraid of what others thought and now that I have accepted what I am, I am much happier. Dont dwell on the small stuff!
2007-10-25 22:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by belinda_130 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can sit down with a therapist for years and really talk about what it is step by step year by year that lead to you being gay. If it important for you to figure it out you can journal and go to therapy and really come to terms with it, but it is up to you. For most people they generally know so it isn't a big deal. Some people choose to believe that it was just genetics and they go on with their lives. If it is important to you than it is imporatant, but to most people in the community it doesn't necessarily matter why, it is interesting to study and even just for curiosity but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter in the slightest.
2007-10-25 22:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by tammy p 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't matter how you came to be gay.
But I don't buy your story about how you came to be gay.
I grew up with 8 brothers and it didn't make me gay because I couldn't stand to look at any of them in that way so it most certainly didn't turn me gay.
I'm fairly sure I was born this way because while my own brothers have always been a turn off to make you puke some of the boys at school were enough to make you nut.
Though it was the new neighbor boy who saved the day.
2007-10-25 22:32:19 · answer #5 · answered by Joe Bleu 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
hummm...you sound very confused.
I hear you though. I wonder if Im really a lesbian or if I have issue with my dad/men. I grew up with him but I hate the man, and never had a positive male role model in my life so I ended up detesting males. ( And the fact that some black men dont like looking like the ideal male - confident, well read, poised and openly heartfelt) leaves me wondering if I will end up with a male. Or even a transexual. But I do want someone who loves me regardless and is not hung up on gender crap.
You hit on alot of controversial topics. Dont get too hung up, if your have been denying something for the past 5 years that means its been there for awhile. Gender and sexual epression is something that fluxtuates throughout your life.
2007-10-25 22:17:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, it doesn't matter! The fact that you accept yourself is awesome. We don't know how we got to be gay, even though I don't agree with how you think you became gay. Many people in your scenario had a father present in their lives and were gay. It's not like female heterosexuality somehow rubbed off onto you. Fear not, sexuality is not contagious! lol
I don't care what you think, it's more important to accept you are. In the end, you live one life, and you might as well spend it being who you really are.
2007-10-25 22:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
I was raised by a man and woman and still am gay. Were you ever attracted to a woman, maybe you're bi. I don't think it's a choice but maybe you just didn't realize it till recently.
2007-10-26 20:41:08 · answer #8 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly, honestly believe with all my heart that being gay is genetic. Science is proving this more and more everyday. In terms of accepting your homosexuality, life will get easier.
2007-10-25 22:47:43 · answer #9 · answered by your_dear_old_mother 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as you are satisfied and comfortable with yourself NO it doesn't matter! The simple truth is you are who you are. There are some that can't accept that but in the end all that matters is YOU!
2007-10-25 22:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by amber fairie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋