I am only 20 years old and already lots of people my age are wanting to get married. What's wrong with getting married in your 30's or later? I think i'd rather just sit it out until i find exactly the right person.
2007-10-25 15:07:00 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, even if your 30 and you have dated the same person for 10 years it doesn't automatically = a happy marriage. Marriage is truly a union and institution that does change the dynamics of a relationship.Besides that, people change during marriage and during the course of their life, so you just never know! No matter the age! But I do think people are rushing to marriage in general right now bc of 2 reasons 1. BC people no longer feel that marriage is necessarily until death does them part, whether they are willing to admit it or not, alot of people now days stay for as long as things are easy for them. Divorce is so accepted now days that, that is the first hard solution they try! Its unfortunate but its the truth.2ndly. Bc although we would like to believe that in this day and time whether your married or not doesn't define you as a person.( which is what I believe) There is still alot of pressure around any long term couple regardless of the age to make that jump. Really people dont' mean any harm but its almost always the follow up question, when you tell someone that your not married but your in a committed relationship.Well, when are you? like you have to do it or else your relationship is not valid.Those beliefs can infiltrate even the best relationships if your not extremely careful. Personally, I am mid thirties and I believe in everything about marriage. And I am happily married. I got married at 26 which some people consider old, but I got married when I was ready, and so I didn't do it when others expected me too. I made sure the my marriage had good foundation, so that we can endure the good times and the bad times. And even, after marriage alot people want to sit at your marriage table and impose the expectations on your marriage. But you and your mate have to define what the marriage means to you and him/her and go with that. Let that define your marriage not other people( parents friends, in laws etc.) And that is hard but necessary. If you truly want a happy marriage at any age!
2007-10-25 16:02:51 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they don't sit there and go through all the things that could go wrong and if they really want to be with this person the rest of their life. I am 22 and almost made the mistake of getting married before I was 20. I'm glad that relationship didn't work out. I am with someone better, and we are choosing not to get married until he turns 30 in two years. I will be 24 then and we will have been living together for over two years. We also want to be financially ready.
2007-10-25 22:14:05 · answer #2 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you waiting till you find the right person, But you never know when they might come along in fact they might come into your life tomarrow, but you don't need to rush into getting married. You can get engaged and just be engaged for a long time and if they really love you and you two are meant to be together than they would stay and understand why you would want to wait. I'm 21 and I've been engaged for 2 years and I'm not getting married until 2 more years.Just remember that this is your choice and don't let anyone tell you different you sound like a smart girl who has her head on her shoulders and wants to live her life and grow before settlein' down. Good for you. And there is nothin' wrong waitin' till yer 30 or older. But Love creeps up when you aint payin' attention. Good Luck
2007-10-25 23:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by DevilDog'sKitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kris55a:
If you live with someone, you can find out if you are able to live together and can get along. You find out so much more about a person when you live with them. Thank god I did not marry anyone before I lived with them. I would have gone through 2 expensive divorces. I am now engaged (at 35) after living with my fiance for a year and a half. I know I will be able to stick with him for the long term.
It is a hard decision because you can choose you partner and make better decisions when you are older, but I find it is best to have kids in your 20's so that you have enough energy to play with them and keep up with them. Also, when you are single in your 30's, most of the singles you meet will be divorcee's, which is ok, but may have baggage.
Do whatever you feel is best for you and don't rush into anything. Also, don't pass up the right person for you just because you are determined to wait. Take life as it comes and use your own judgement. You'll know when you're ready.
2007-10-25 22:26:49 · answer #4 · answered by jennniferlea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never really got it either, I'm the same age as you and I know of 2 people who went to my school who are getting married. I just don't understand it...ok its good that they found a person they love but why get married now? Can't it wait?
If you really feel you can spend the rest of your life with that person, can't you get married later so you can be financially stable first? It's too much of a big decision to rush into.
I think people are being blinded into this supposed nirvana with marriage.
Recently I haven't seen the point of marriage, it's just a title. You could still be in a marriage but not be legally married.
2007-10-26 06:21:06 · answer #5 · answered by thedon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the media tend to make it seem, at least to women, like life doesn't begin until you're married. Some people are just afraid to be alone and live their own lives independantly for a while, though it's probably best if they do.
The right age isn't going to be the same for everyone, but I'm willing to bet that, for most people, it's after they've lived on their own long enough to know who they are and how to stand on their own two feet.
2007-10-25 22:13:23 · answer #6 · answered by Mich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I am 22, and have been with my fiance for 5 years, and if it were not a financial issue, we would already be married. i love him and know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and want us to be my family. I know he is the right person. However, I guess that is not so common these days, and that is why people wait til they are older.
2007-10-25 22:44:18 · answer #7 · answered by autismcaregiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well is depends maybe some people at age 20 have already found the right person but theres nothing wrong with wating
2007-10-25 22:11:23 · answer #8 · answered by Eliza N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes they think they are ready, but they need to be careful that they don't regret it not very long down the road. If they are thinking of it than they really need to consider it carefully and make sure he or she is the one. I have learned the hard way that even if you are ready the one who says yes may not be ready. Make sure they are mature enough for a long term relationship.
2007-10-25 22:59:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, maybe the people to whom you refer HAVE found the right person? or think they have?
live and let live. it's a good idea to become established and financially prepared before we get married. not many do this.
you are doing what is best for you. be happy with YOURSELF and your own decisions.
take care too
2007-10-25 22:12:21 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋