Its been 2 days since he did that--who should start the conversation? we have been married for 7 yrs and never been mad at each other for more than couple oh hours but this time since i was shocked and dissapointed i stopped talking. He said stuff about my family whereas they are really nice to him since day one and treat him as there son. I am really hurt and disappointed... please suggest what should I do? i know I can't make him respect someone but atleast he shouldn't say stuff like that to me coz he knows it hurts since I am really close to my familly.
2007-10-25 14:52:44 · 13 answers · asked by Ak B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is exactly why he said what he said he wanted to hurt you.I don't think it was anything to actually with your family.He just said that like I said to hurt you. when you do start talking to him again ask him if he'd like it if you said horrible things about the people he loves.Ask him how it would make him feel. I do think you should bring it up and get it all out in the open so as if it is to happens again then you can tell him off in the most kindest way possible.What ever you do do not say things like that back to him it only adds fuel to the fire.Take it from some who HAS lived it but no longer lives it and never will again. Words stick and as we all know they hurt. I think Id rather take a beating then hear words that hurt.At least the bruises go away. Don't take that from him anymore you tell him what ever you think is appropriate that you WILL not take his abuse any longer because that is what it is. Good luck to you Hun
2007-10-25 15:09:50 · answer #1 · answered by Smiley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can start the conversation and suggest marriage counseling to see what the problems are in the relationship. Since he knows how close you are to your family, He picked the one thing to say which hurt you the most and probably doesn't mean anything he said about your family.but used that as a weapon against you. Perhaps he feels you are too close to your family if they are involved with you more than he thinks they should be but that is where the counseling will hopefully help the two of you get past this. I hope that you can get past this and wish you good luck!
2007-10-25 15:05:55 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, not talking is about the worst thing you can do.
You probably do not have to tell him he hurt you with the things he said. I am sure he knows it. What good well it do for you to beat him with it?
Have you ever said something in anger or frustration you knew you should not have said? I have. I think most people have. that does not make us horrible people.
My suggestion, think about what you could say to him (first thing out of your mouth) that will have the most positive effect on the conversation. Remember, thinking and acting positive will bring more positive in your life.
Truly forgive and forget. Unless it becomes a habit.
2007-10-25 15:48:42 · answer #3 · answered by Hubby . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what ever your arguement was about, your husband out of anger said those hurtful things about your family was to hurt you. i am sure your husband knows that your family is very kind to him,and he probaly loves them very much but to get back at you for something that might of been hurtful to him that you might of said to him this was his little way of getting you back because you are probably very close with your family. i would tell him if he is going to say this again how will he feel if you said things about his family. i would forgive him because arguemnts do happen between husband and wife. let him know if it continues thats how resentment starts and gets uglier. tell him not to take it out on your family and focus on the real issue than to blame others.i think it really doesnt mean alot to him about it other than getting under your skin like all of the other husbands do in this world.
2007-10-25 15:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by Cheryl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did u ever consider that he wants to start something with u to get the arguing going so he can leave? often times when a man is wanting out of a relationship he will say and do things u never thought he would. its clear he doesn't respect u, or care about your feelings if he did he would keep it to himself he wants to hurt u because he may be trying t find reasons to leave u and he hopes u will react to it.
2007-10-25 14:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He owes you an appology a biggggggg one... Are you sure he did not just say it in jest? You are right he does not have to like any of your family but it seems to me that after all these years and your family liking him so much I beleve he is a phony. (now dont be mad at me for saying that let me explain) as I said before after all these years he has not said a thing and now all of a sudden there is someone in your family thats done someting to him? Something went wrong very quickly or he was just trying to pee you off... I wish you luck..
2007-10-25 15:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That might be the problem. He may feel that you are closer to them than you are to him. Have you ever stopped talking to your family? My ex's family would constantly put themselves in the middle of me and my ex, in every way they could. They could have visited at any time of the year. They chose to visit during Christmas, which I had no problem with if they wanted to celebrate at my house, instead of other nearby relatives of theirs, so that I could be with my parents also. But they never wanted to do that. They wanted us to spend all of Christmas every year without even seeing my family at all. My parents were older and in worse health and I wanted to spend time with them. But he'd get on the phone with his mother who lived hundreds of miles away in October and plan the whole 2 weeks around Christmas without ever even considering the fact that I have parents too. They did this for 20 years and finally I put my foot down when my parents health got real bad. We separated a month after the last Christmas. And I'll be honest with you. I don't miss any of them including my ex.
2007-10-25 15:13:39 · answer #7 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely open the conversation You are feeling bad and hes feeling Its take a hero here and be the one
2007-10-25 15:00:37 · answer #8 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will just have to tell him how you feel about what he said, you also need to remember most people like to make sure their partners feel free to express themselves and have their own opinions so you will need to know that this is what he was doing. so explain to him what he said was hurtful and he can express his opinion without being rude or nasty to someone. you need to also forgive him, we all say things we dont always mean when angry
2007-10-25 14:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit and talk to him about the situation. tell him how you feel. and let him know that he hurt your feelings and why he said those things. Good luck
2007-10-25 14:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by brenda_lilb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋