please tell me what do you think about my poem?

Question

Failure of love


Love fails me
A disease that kills me
Taking a chunk every time
Leaving me bitter
Cautious
Sick

No time to understand
The reasons why
No one cares in my
Wandering by

Let’s stomp her down
So far she begins to crumble
Let’s shoot her in her precious
Heart, and make her a machine
Of hate,and disgust

Take every ounce of her hope
Burn all her dreams
Avoid telling her the truth
She’ll never get what it means

Advantage, because she is weak
And a mess of sorrow
Avoid knowing her today
She’ll still be going tomorrow


I’m all I have seen
I know every thing about me
Alone leaves me to analyze
My inner self
I don’t need you or anybody else.

Answer 1

I felt this way at one point in my life and I know what its like to feel despair and hoplessness. I had to learn the hard way down a long road that I needed to stop caring what other people do to me and think about me and take back control of my mind and life. I became bully foder in high school and I let some stupid girl dictate how i felt about myself and I took it out on my parents and by hooking up with lots of guys and making it even worse for myself in the long run. I hated myself for a long time. It wasn't untill a couple of years ago I reconcilled with myself all the drama i let myself endure (I am 20 now). I learned not to care about what other people thought of me and did to me if they were being hurtful or just plain stupid. Learning to love yourself when you are on the complete oposite side of the spectrum is very hard but when you slowly realize yuo are in control of your feelings and life and don't let other people dictate your life for you, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel and thing will get better, as hard as that is to believe sometimes, things always get better.

And disregard that dumb guy about the poetry section, he's stupid too. :)

Answer 2

Let's take this from both a psychological and philosophic view:

Say you're single. At any given time within the United States there are at least a million single men in your age group. As this is the case, there is nothing wrong with loving someone or being loved by someone. Painful experiences from love comes from making the wrong choices. When there are so many good men out there why dwell on a wrong choice? Why not just go out and find a better suited mate?

You buy shoes and dresses selectively. Why not simply be more selective with your affections?

If someone hurts you, that's their fault, their character flaw. But if you continue to let the same people hurt you it also becomes your fault.

As a baby when you put a dirty stone in your mouth to see what it tasted like and figured out it was bitter did this stop you from eating? Of course not. When you started to walk and fell down and hurt yourself did you decide you didn't want to walk because it might sometimes be painful? Of course not.

Go out and meet some of those 999,999 men you haven't met yet. And please try looking at all future relationships (romantic or not) the same way.

Answer 3

My favorite part was the last 5 lines. Good work! However, an improvement would be to put...idk...something in the rest of it that provokes more emotion from the reader. You use emotional words, but maybe some of the stuff is a little cliche (though true). This takes away from it a little bit. I'll call it a very very strong first draft. Nice job! You are very talented! :)

Answer 4

your poem is really good, but are you in a stage of your life where everything is going wrong, if so talk 2 someone about it

Answer 5

Wow This is a really good poem.
Your very talented :]

Answer 6

You realise this is the philosophy section, right? The poetry section is just one below it.

You're welcome.

Answer 7

nice...
you have done well...
yet...I think you
have earned what you say...

I have witnessed everything you say

Answer 8

WRONG SECTION!!!!