he left last november i look after our 15yr old but he refuses to see his dad. my 20yr old agrees that he shouldnt because he wont see his dad. i have had no help and c.s.a have done nothing even though i have been in touch with them, when my husband found out he packed up work. i work full time.
2007-10-25 13:45:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Paying child support is not buying the right to see a son. Although it may seem unfair to the father in this case, child support is a parent taking financial responsibility for a child they have fathered, whether they get to see them or not. I am not sure about your situation but i hope that your son, you, and your X can work something out. Keep in touch with CSA the more you push the better it will be.
2007-10-25 13:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No matter the reason why your husband left; The children are is, carry his name, and are his joined responsibility with you.
It's a shame people think that when they are no more a couple, they are not parents either.
You can live separately, and still be very good parents to your kids.
Well, try not to antagonize him, and just keep telling him that he is and will always be the father of the children and as such, no matter what has happened between the two of you, he should not punish the children and still support them.
I don't understand, how adults can let their anger get the better of them over important responsibility.
They are hurting not each other, but the children.
Hope he will come to his senses.
Good luck, and try also not to set your children against their dad, even though you might have the best reasons in the world.
I know it's easier said than done. But I've been there too. When I felt so angry and wanted to open my children's eyes on the way their dad was behaving.
But, thank God, I didnt. They were hurt as it is not to see their dad. And when we as adults managed to sort out our problems, and are getting on well as parents today, I am terribly happy I didn't.
A separation is hard for on both parties. Everybody thinks they're right. There's everybody's side, and the reality.
So, keep doing your best by your children and hopefully, your ex husband will come to his senses.
Good luck to you.xxx
2007-10-25 21:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he still has to pay for the 15 year old but if he is out of work then that will be hard. But a s for who asked who to leave any father should pay maintenance for their child or am I being old fashioned here support the child.
2007-10-25 18:37:54 · answer #3 · answered by Edgein 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if your son wants to see his father or not, Dad still needs to pay child support. Take him to court, sometimes if c.s.a. is not helping you have to take them to court yourself. Pain in the rear, yes, but don't put up with that.
My kids don't see their father and he still has to keep paying. The judge ordered child support and visitation at my discretion. less visitation does not equal less child support. My state is 25% of gross pay for one child, 33% for two, it goes up....the highest is 40% I believe. My kids father tried working part time, and then quitting completely, it didn't work.....the judge told him he had to get a job or he was going to jail for non-payment. It just kept adding up when he wasn't paying, so now he has to pay extra on top of the original amount toward the back balance, he can't get a passport because of the balance, and it's on his credit report that he owes all this child support.
2007-10-25 13:56:51 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should pay child support for your son just because he's left doesn't mean his parenting is done.
I feel sorry for your son after all what sort of message is he sending to him by refusing to help keep him? Not a good one that's for sure.
2007-10-25 14:05:35 · answer #5 · answered by Talcat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every parent has a financial obligation to their minor children, I dont care what the situation is whether he remarried or you did, or if you had more children etc, the bottom line is that if you have kids you must support them, many dead beat parents dont realize that the money they pay is not for their ex spouse, no,no, the money should be spent on the minor child, this means rent, medical care, food, electric, clothes, etc, so yes this person needs and must support his child, it is not the states responsibility to provide for your children, it is your responsibilty and your ex,s. So go after him with everything you,ve got!
2007-10-25 14:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The parent who does not have custody of the child is obligated, by law, to pay child support to the custodial parent.
It does not make any difference who moved out or who divorced who.
Child support is about the child. Not the relationship.
2007-10-25 14:24:17 · answer #7 · answered by krinkn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure he should pay child support....but... that is the least of your problems and you know it.
Stop trying to dump your problems on everyone else. Own up to your problems and find the solutions. Nobody is responsible for your life but you.
Good luck.
2007-10-25 13:54:19 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though your child is 15 years old and refuses to see his/her father, the father is still responsible for helping support the child.Morally, he should feel responsible. If the child left first, maybe he would not be.This is not the case though.
2007-10-25 13:52:31 · answer #9 · answered by Ava 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know all the details but it seems like you're going through rough time at the moment.all i can offer is keep your chin up and do your best and always know that no matter what YOU did the best for your son.If dad doesn't want to pay let that lay on his conscience.it seems like he is using your child to hurt you.hope all goes well in the future.
2007-10-25 14:06:54 · answer #10 · answered by smiler21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋