How do you desensitize yourself from negative/mean people?

Question

Ignoring just doesn't work for me yet. For some reason I take things to heart still. I want to be able to let them go once I hear them and forget about them.

Answer 1

I use to have a hard time with this one too then someone told me that the only reason for someone to be mean to you is because they are jealous. Also competitive they are testing you to see if the can effect you because when they compare themselves to you they feel like you are better. I hope this makes sense, and it won't change over night but it didn't take that long before I would hear what people were saying and thought "well if they are going through this much trouble to try and get at me, then they must really think highly of me". It starts to sound like a compliment and when they see they are not bothering you you will sometimes find a insecure person who really just wanted to be your friend but didn't know how to say it. They will stop after a few tries and nothing happening.

In one ear out the other never worked for me but I heard this one the most I can't just shut it off but feeling happy that someone thinks your great works for me.

Answer 2

Desensitize Yourself

Answer 3

Me and you both Melissa! I have been so knocked around I have finally started to hate people and life. That's not good either. I use to have a very cheery disposition and I miss it. I would like to learn not to get so "beat up" from people either. I will keep on checking your question maybe someone will post a good answer. I will also look at that book the other person posted. There are so many books out on the market and I have read alot. At this point, I'm like oh great another book that I will read and not grasp the concept and I will still be me getting hurt by mean people. Anyway, best of luck to you.

Answer 4

You pretty much answered your own question. IGNORE THEM!
The example I will use is ignoring negative energy in the workplace. In the workplace one must learn to coexist in order to make a work place doable. But unfortunately people will try to test you. You can get a bossy boss, or gossipy co-workers. Or, my favorite, customers who are bitchy and rude. Try not to get involved in office gossip. What comes around goes around...remember that! When customers start wailing on you and pointing the finger I have learned the easy way to deflect their negative energy is to let the customer vent, then say "I'm sorry". Or simply apologize for the incident. It throws the customer off their guard. They do not know how to respond to forgiveness. Usually getting a good vent off your chest tones down ones behavior. Now dealing with a bossy, bitchy boss is tricky. I have always tried to just go with the flow, stay out of the way, and avoid confrontation especially when you can see your boss is having a bad day. Now I am not saying be a whimp and let your boss run all over you but avoidance is a good option.
Ignoring negative people can make your life so much more peaceful.

Answer 5

Someone else mentioned Dr. Dyer. He tells a story of how this beautiful woman was abused by her husband. The Dr. asked, "If he said you were a car, would that make you a car?" People say what they do to hurt or to make themselves feel better, at your expense. It doesn't make what they think or say true. You can't live your life as if it is controlled by others.
You don't owe mean people a second glance. Do what you said you want to do. Think, " You are a liar and a bully and I pity you, you poor, sick jerk. I don't need anything from you. You just don't matter at all. I love me."
C. :)!!

Answer 6

Realize that hurt people hurt people. So when someone really hurts you, think of how unhappy they must be. You can take some sort of sick pleasure from that, or let your compassion rise above that junk and feel bad for them. One of the most satisfying things I've done on this earth is turning a mean person around to at least tolerable. Rise above!

Answer 7

You need to address how you feel about yourself. I'm no expert, but from personal experience, I can guess that whatever hurts or bothers you is something that you are already insecure about. If you are secure about something, then someone saying something negative about it goes in one ear and out the other.
Ignoring them won't help much if they echo what you already believe.

I know this doesn't help overcome the problem, but from personal experience I hope it helps you see where the problem lies.

Answer 8

It is not easy but you do need to let it go and not comment on what they say. Don't repeat it to any one and remember where it came from. No one is better than any one else it is just some people do not have the common sense that God gave them and they do not use their brains for what is important. You need to harden yourself to the comments and get some more self esteem. Remember you are as good as they are but you know what is better left unsaid.

Answer 9

I recommend the old book "Pulling Your Own Strings" by Dr. Wayne Dyer http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu_FPMSFH5_MA_2xXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE5NGVtZ2M4BHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMQRjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA1BSMDEwXzkwBGwDV1Mx/SIG=12rc8prog/EXP=1193444047/**http%3a//www.amazon.com/Pulling-Your-Own-Strings-Techniques/dp/006109224X

This isn't just a "feel good" book. It is practical techniques to change the way you think about things like this. Once you change the way you think, the way you feel with change right along with it. For instance, it no longer bothers me that my mother things I'm a sloppy housekeeper. My thought is "Well that goes to show how my mother thinks, doesn't it?"

Answer 10

Listen patiently as it goes in one ear and out the other.