I'm scared to get married.....?

Question

I am 23 years old and I plan on getting married next year. The only problem is, I'm terrified!!! Here's why: By the time I get married I should have $40,000 saved up, plus a $10,000 car. I figure that by the time I pay for a down payment on a house though, my money will pretty much all be gone. I'll be left with about $20,000 and will have a RN job that'll pretty much pay all the bills, but I wont have much left for savings. How will I be able to make extra money. I think it might be better for me to just stay with my folks for 3 more years and save enough money and THEN move out. What should I do.. I need some good advice!

I love this girl so much that I'm with. She lives in Canada and I live in the US. We've waited for eachother for 1 1/12 years already. I'm afriad that if I put it off(marriage) any longer, than we will end up breaking up!! :(

Answer 1

You managed to save up $40K already, plus buy a car, and you're only 23 and you're worried? A lot of 23 year olds would love to be in your financial shoes. OK, so you'll spend some of the $40K buying a house, but still have half of it left - that's "pretty much all gone"?. Will your girlfriend be working also? Does she share your savings habits? You should still be able to save continue to save, although not as fast, even after you get married - obviously you've formed good financial habits. Financially, you're fine and doing very well.

But if you are really worried about being married rather than your financial security, you need to be very sure you're ready before you take that step in life. Be sure to talk through finances - if you are a saver and she's a spender, that could cause major problems between you.

Good luck in making the right decision.

Answer 2

Well, you are thinking too linear. You are assuming all things stay the same, but in fact you get raises, your wife might also make money, and you don't have to buy a house right away, in fact in the current market you should wait to buy anyway. For a 23 year old to have saved money like you do is very unusual and puts you in an excellent situation relative to your peers. You are being way too conservative in your thinking. Saving money has less to do with how much you are making than with your behavior patterns and committment to saving. If your wife were to work, which most do now, that's more money, you could organize yourselves to handle all bills and save money and buy a house, it's really just a matter of behavior, so that you don't go down the road many do of getting heavily in debt as a young person/people.

Answer 3

If anyone says that they were not scared to get married, they are lying. I was very scared, but 31 years later, my guy and I are still together and love each other more today than when we first met. Marriage is not perfect. You will struggle and there will be times when you wonder if its all worth it. All I can say is, yes it is. Don't wait to get married until you feel you can "afford" it or you won't ever get married. Marry the girl and if you have to, rent for awhile or see if you can lease with an option to buy the house. I assume your girl has a job and will be contributing to the household finances? If so, between your job as an RN, her job and what you have in savings, you will do just fine. Get married, don't wait!

Answer 4

You're forgetting one key thing. A house is an investment, not a liability like a car. It holds a usually increases in value. Especially in this market when prices are so low. If you buy a house, you don't lose your downpayment. Unless you lose value in the home, you maintain that equity.

Also, who says you have to buy a house right away. You can always rent until you decide what you guys want to do long term. In fact I recommend it. You're 23. You're going to want to travel and live life a bit. Why tie yourself down with a decision you may regret?

Answer 5

Is your fiancee disabled and or will not work?

No girl will wait 3 years so that you can be financially dependant. Love and money dont mix. What you should do its to tell her your plans before marrige. At least if she agrees there will be no suprises and then you work your problems out together.

I got maried at 21, no job, no savings, and pregnant. Went to work, so did she and we bought a 150,000 home at 26. We rented until that time. Your starting better of than me.

Answer 6

Are you considering both your incomes? Perhaps you need to take about financial goals before "setting the date."

(You have much more in savings than the average 23 year old and as an RN you have a good profession).

Answer 7

have you chosen a partner to marry yet.
omg what a joke dont you know that once you are married problems are over your parents have been burden with your being a dependant long enough
how do you suppose they have taken from thier savings while you are getting ahead struggle and do it on your own and further more if you have to go public with question as personal as this noone will want to marry you anyway finances are personal stuff

Answer 8

You didn't say anything about your relationship, or if you even have one. It's fine to be responsible about your money, but there's something to be said about being with the one you love. It sounds like you'd be doing fine if you moved out, got a house, and got married.

Answer 9

if you are not ready DONT DO IT, simple, this decision is better now than battling it out in divorce court. You are young, live a little more first... or you will possibly have resentment and anger

IF IT IS MEANT TO BE.... IT WILL BE

Answer 10

Doesn't Prince Charming have a job? You haven't taken his income into account. Hopefully you are not marrying someone in the slammer