I hate to be "Shallow Hal" here....
I'm considering settling down because i've found a woman that fascinates and excites me physically and inspires me to do things for her and be a better man. A large part of this has to do with her physical beauty. I love to be and be seen with her.
Of course she is remarkabley selfish, stubborn and shallow in many ways and other I have other partners not quite so pretty who I could see would be better in the long run as a lifelong companion.
Can someone please offer me some insight?
2007-10-25 12:32:07 · 19 answers · asked by Dan L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is superficiality beyond belief.
2007-10-25 13:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same physical beauty that you find so fascinating now will bore you when over time you see the whole person as perhaps not so desirable after all. Unless, of course, you too are remarkably selfish, stubborn, and shallow in many ways, as you describe her. In which case, you'll be a perfect match and can drive each other crazy.
2007-10-25 19:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same problem. I am an attractive woman and am in love the a man who is amazing. He is the most beautiful man ever - built, blue eyes, no ego, 6'5", incredible shape, etc... But, I am so much more comfortable with another man who is not so attractive. The second man loves me for who I am and would do anything for me and would also be extremely faithful. But, I can't seem to get over the first guy - my heart melts when I see him and I know it has alot to do with his looks. He is nice and fun, but not compared to the second guy. So, basically, since I can't make a decision I see both of them. The first for fun and the second for dates - which I could combine the two! Let me be clear - I am not cheating - I don't have a commitment with either guy, but we only see each other (the unspoken commitment). I hope you get lots of answers as I could use some advice too!
2007-10-25 19:46:21 · answer #3 · answered by Kitt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, let me introduce myself. I am your polar opposite. I am considering settling down because I have found a man who is solid and reliable, but is far from my physical ideal. He inspires me to be more responsible and he's very sweet, yet I'm somewhat bored.
I was in a long past relationship more like your own, based on attraction and looks and awesome sex. All I can say is that this does not make for the best of futures....FOR ME. Sure, I'm not really super happy now, but I'm sane. And I can entertain the prospect of growing old and fat with this person. I know a man just like you who married her because she's gorgeous. Guess what? While he was out working hard, supporting her and their kids...she was screwing their landscaper...10 years younger than herself. How would that grab you?
I doubt it's all about looks. If you love drama, go for it. If you want peace, don't.
2007-10-25 19:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by lovebird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marrying for looks is shallow, because when u base your feelings u have because of looks when the looks fade and they always do, what will u have then? the honeymoon stage doesn't last too long, and its not what true love is, true love is about trust, giving, being considerate, and trustworthy, knowing u can count on a person even if they disappoint u. if all u have to go on here is her beauty u are going to get a rude awakening and be disappointed in time.
2007-10-25 21:48:41 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't just walk away, RUN away .. what about when her beauty is gone, can you take the "remarkabley selfish, stubborn and shallow in many ways"
Good Luck!
2007-10-25 19:35:57 · answer #6 · answered by Queenie` 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How are you going to feel if she is maimed, disfigured, gains weight, develops a crippling disease, or simply doesn't age well (and she will age; we all do)? If you were with someone for personality, you would be willing to accept physical changes. If you marry her, you will end up with an old wrinkled woman who is selfish, stubborn and shallow. How appealing will she, and marital commitment, be then?
2007-10-25 20:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by Teresa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You like to be seen with her. Now I consider that kind of shallow on your part.
Trust me looks have a way of fading , and then all you see is the faults you have mentioned, that coupled with the realization that you settled for a paper doll. And signed on the dotted line.
2007-10-25 19:42:50 · answer #8 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Physical beauty lasts for only a short time. What will you do after she has a few children and is not so slim and cute and things start to sag a bit? That's when real love comes in and you still look at this woman with respect and wonder....and still think she is really beautiful...this is what love is...
2007-10-25 19:36:15 · answer #9 · answered by bevrossg 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to this one. "Of course she is
remarkably selfish, stubborn and shallow in many ways..."--
SURE, that's what I'd like to base a marriage on!!! Go ahead and do it, but it won't last. And then you'll complain
about how much it costs you to keep her looking that good.
2007-10-25 19:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to put your heart on the line for someone you already know is selfish, stubborn and shallow?? You may acquiesce for a while; I assure you, that will pass. You will resent her and be angry w/yourself for settling for someone who doesn't know how to love you or anyone else.
2007-10-25 19:37:07 · answer #11 · answered by Laura G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋