Wouldn’t Most Women Be More Attractive If They Spent Less Time Trying To Look Attractive?

Question

The right clothes. The right makeup. The right hair style. The right look. The thousands of hours spent trying to look attractive?

If more women spent half as much time worrying about looking physically attractive and used this time and energy to feed their minds instead, to expand their knowledge and life experiences, would they be less attractive? Shouldn’t a more complete woman be more attractive?

Are we that superficial that we can’t see intelligent, educated, knowledgeable women as more attractive? Men aren’t subjected to the same scrutiny. Why the double-standards?

It's not likely that Einstein spent, or Hawkin spends, much time worrying about the right look, the right hair style.

Lesley, there is a difference between caring about your looks and letting worrying about your looks stifle the rest of what you could become as a complete person.

It's always very difficult to select a 'best' answer when so many respond with sincere, well thought replies. If I could I would select at least five 'best' answers here. But we're allowed only one.

Answer 1

Hi Doc, When you get to my age you realize that beauty is a internal thing & external beauty becomes much less important. But it takes a little to get to that point . Women are programed by society from little girls that outside is what is important & unfortunately the unlearning comes with age. I may not be able to compete with the 20 yr. old bathing beauties any longer, & nor do I care to any longer. Self confidence & purity of spirit have a beauty all their own that no amount of makeup can supply. Thanks for great Q.
(((hug)))

Answer 2

I don't think you are the problem. He still finds you attractive and loves you very much I'm sure. The problem may be that he thinks he is less of a man and can't do all the manly things that other husbands do that aren't on disability. I realize that you work at home and take care of him and your kids and family, but now you have to make him feel like he is ten feet tall and you wouldn't have it any other way. Since the two of you can't go out because of money, make a late date for at home anyway. It really is too bad that his parents won't help out and babysit, but if you know your neighbours at all, maybe ask them to do it. Anyway, hopefully when you do find a sitter, you should make a date and after you eat and stuff, put on something sexy and revealing and offer to give him a full body massage' and rub and kiss him all over letting him know just how much you need him in your life, and let nature take its course. Good luck.

Answer 3

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, And like all else some
over do, some should do more, Balance is always the answer, and not to be or become vain. I think men are subject to the same scrutiny in this area. For each it's kindof
like a package deal. And the look of each of us is of a differ
from the classic to the glamorous, some natural beauty, some have to help it along, I guess we should all take heed to
"Don't judge a book by it's cover." Balance is the key.

Answer 4

I dont go by what the eyes see, as often so many things are altered or enhanced. Instead I go what is in their heart, how they act, what they say and their body language.
Being a woman myself, I watch other women trying to get a man's attention by sprucing and putting on airs about something they're not all about.
I look at men as humans with their attractiveness about them.
So I try to let them see who I am not what I am. I'm not out to win a beauty contest and if they guys are going by looks then they miss the chance to know the right person. As one of the mottos I live by , is beauty isnt what the eyes sees when looking at you, It's what the heart sees when speaking with you. If you are caring and kind and shine a positive light about you then others can see it and will want to be a round you. but if you're bitter and cold, or have a negative attitude, Then all the beauty in the world wont make you attractive or appealing in my eyes

Answer 5

I completely agree with you. That's why I don't wear make-up. I figure that if someone likes me, then they should like me for who I really am. Then again, guys don't exactly walk around thinking "I hope that girl has a good personality" they go for looks, then move on from there. But I don't care what they think about how I initially look b/c I'm happy w/out wearing makeup b/c I just feel fake when I wear it. And fake doesn't equal beauty.

Answer 6

On one hand, I agree that way too much emphasis is placed on looks. But who do you think put that emphasis there in the first place. Men, and other women, competing for men. Lingering old teachings of our past history that taught men to aim for the stars and women that they were only supposed to think of men.

It takes a long time to overcome that kind of teaching.

But there's also lots and lots of folks trying to become educated and knowledgeable and become more developed as humans and their looks are part of the package.

I think we are trying to teach ourselves that beauty may be skin deep but stupid runs clean to the bone and learn to balance the two.

Answer 7

My daughter, who will be 25 years old next month, is very beautiful, but she would wear make-up...until my older son told her that he preferred the natural look, and after he passed away she stopped wearing make-up in Honor of him, except for on her wedding day.
By the way, when I met my husband 26 years ago, he was always concerned about his looks, and not kidding, he would comb his long beautiful hair almost every hour of the day...One day as he was combing his hair on the balcony, he accidentally dropped his comb down to the balcony below...and we both wanted to go down to the apartment below us to see if we could retrieve the comb...but we decided to look for another comb around our own apartment...low and behold we found one...and still to this day
we make sure we have many easily accessible combs around our place.

Answer 8

Vanity is sin.
but if it takes a woman to expect perfection in everything, then let her have it as long as she dont offend others with her ultimate fascination.
there will always be double standard. now let take for instance for a man, he would ideally want a woman who is beautiful inside and out and got the brains to match. im sure y'all could come up with names for women who would qualify for these category. but then not all women are these gifted.
though i could come up with some shallow women i know, better still, i think its wrong to coined that women who worry about how they look are shallow bitches.
we care how we look physically maybe because thats what society expects of us, or to be honest, we do it for ourselves. its our one way of taking care of ourselves to earn more respect from work example. i mean if you meet up with your doctor, you expect somebody to at least look presentable right. though this dont mean we have to mold to some certain ideals. but its just wrong to judge a woman because she looked as good. so horrah for women of the millennium. LOL. we know what we want, and with the right attitude, get it too. =)
wonder why this have to be argued about.

Answer 9

i agree that women who looked too made up aren't attractive. they only look very high-maintenance and like they are trying VERY hard to hide their flaws. while every woman can benefit from makeup (if done properly), i don't think beauty is about slathering copious amounts of junk on your face. i find, the most beautiful women are the ones that look naturally pretty. otherwise, it appears that the woman isn't comfortable in her own skin. i think the double standard is art imitating life and life imitating art. on tv, a fatty like kevin james or jim belushi can be married to leah remini or courtney thorne-smith. women see this on tv, and they begin trying to conform to these ideals of beauty. tv writers see this in real life and begin writing it into shows. it's very circular and has deep societal roots that go back to women traditionally only being valued as objects of beauty.

Answer 10

I agree absolutely! It's not the brand of her purse or the cost of her make-up. Maya Angelou says it best:

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou