If your spouse was cheating and you didn't know, would you want someone to tell you?

Question

I know I would.

I'm just suprised at how many people always say to "mind your own business" or "don't get involved" or "it's not your problem", etc.

I'm just curious why people feel that way. The thought of being cheated on is awful enough, but it makes me wonder whether my friends would just sit back and laugh at me like many of the people on here.

I can't think of any reason why someone would want to protect the cheater. I mean, you don't need to have a sit down conversation with the whole family, you could even send an anonymous letter.

Thoughts? What would you do?

Answer 1

yes...happened to me after I gave her another chance and the real kick in the *** was that other people knew and didn't tell me. Of course I heard from them after I found out...they said they didn't want to get in the middle of it or that they worried about friendships etc...and they all wanted to know if I understood...I told them I didn't and that doing the right thing shouldn't ever be a hard choice.

Answer 2

Yes, I would want to know! I think most people would. However, the problem with being the one to bring it to the surface is sometimes people are angry, and hurt and unfortunatley they lash out on the the person who brought it to surface. They don't mean to, but they are experiencing so much hurt that they do. Then, that is so tramatic for the the person that was trying to do the right thing that they decide never again. Because now they are injured trying to protect a friend, or do the right thing. and that can just all be to much to bare.Not to mention they may suffter an attack from the cheating spouse. I mean this is alot to ask someone to take, for a relationship that they are not even in.So for most people that don't tell, I don't think its about protecting the cheater its about protecting themselves. And the truth is even if you send an anonymous letter, that is a hard thing to say to someone. You spouse is cheating, ooh I cringed just writing it then. Then, to make matters even more complicated you have to have proof, undeniable proof, and that is hard to do sometimes, and it may implicate you anyways so there goes your anonoymoity. So I think its just a complex situation for all involved, and most of the time the person baring the truth is feeling just as guilty for knowing, I mean your risking the relationship with the person your telling either way. So sometimes people rather just mind their own business and have faith that what you do in the dark will come to the light.

Answer 3

There are diverse clarification why spouses cheat or maybe as none of them are morally good, it is a few thing which will proceed to ensue. many women cheat because of a lack of emotional bonding of their relationships. If the female isn't reassured that she is horny, pleasing, tempting and so on then she would search for that affection elsewhere. besides, some women cheat because the sex is in simple terms straightforward uninteresting and they go with exhilaration of their mattress room. For adult males, it truly is slightly more suitable straightforward. adult males who cheat many times have an brilliant courting with their better halves. I honestly have talked to adult males about this and they say that they cheat because the different women is a warm piece of ***. yet in reality, all pussy is an identical. besides, i'm effective adult males cheat if their better halves change into repulsive and vice versa..

Answer 4

If it was a close friend or family member I would hope that they would tell me(if they were 1000% sure he was cheating).Many years ago someone called me and told me my now ex husband was with another woman.It was his cousin.They had just left our house 30 minutes earlier to get something from the grocery store we needed for dinner,so I knew it was his cousin.It can cause a lot of problems if the person isn't really sure.I don't really much worth in a person that I hardly know telling me.You don't really know what they may be up to.

Answer 5

I would for sure tell. However, I would only say something if I saw it myself and not a hear say. People like to gossip or things sometimes get added on to the fact (exagerated) so I wouldn't if I don't have a concrete proof. It is about a marriage so I'd want to be really sure before I start a war.

Answer 6

I definitely would want to know. If for no other reason, so I would know to stop having unprotected sex with him and go see my doctor to get tested for STDs. But also, so I could quit living a lie with him!

Often people don't want to know (which is beyond me) and you've heard the old saying of "shoot the messenger" so one doesn't have to listen to the message. Unfortunately, some people get angry at the one who tells them of the cheating, instead of being mad at the cheater!

Answer 7

I think the reason I would say to not tell is that so many people pass along rumors when they really don't know it to be true. Unless I saw it with my own eyes I wouldn't be telling anyone. It isn't so much to protect the cheater but to protect a family. Just think, what if it isn't true or blown out of proportion?

Answer 8

Really depends on the situation and the relationship. If this friend is in agony because she doesn't know where her husband is or doesn't know why they're having relationship problems, I might chime in.

But say I'm walking down the street and I see her man kiss another person sexually or something like that, I would keep it to myself or confront the supposed cheater.

Personally, if my man were cheating on me and someone I knew found out, I wouldn't want to hear it from the outsider. It would be incredibly embarrassing. I would want to hear it from my partner.

Besides, the truth always reveals itself.

Answer 9

Honestly, i have mixed feelings about this. if someone told me, it would make me suspicious, and if it turned out not to be true, my fiance would feel like i didn't trust him, and that could cause major problems. on the other hand, if it was true and someone i knew told me about it, i'd want to know. it's just hard these days, cuz ppl are so shady (i don't just mean ur significant other, i mean friends u think u can trust).

But regardless of if any outsider tells or not, the truth will come out eventually. the sooner the better, but it WILL come out.

Answer 10

My ex lied , he bought a motorcycle and hid it in a storage unit when my Dad was having cancer surgery and I worked nights, he would go out riding then take it back to the storage unit fpr 4 months at least. I had no idea and all our "friends" knew, no one told me a thing. I think he was cheating too. I wish someone would have told me. He was an idiot anyway.