Ok, this might be a toughy for some of you to answer, but i'd really like honest answers, and please dont be negative, i need some serious advice here. Alrighty, my boyfriend and I are in a 'living together' relationship right now, and, i knew when i got into this, that he was still married, pursuing a divorce, already seeing the lawyer and all. Now the thing is, his soon-to-be ex wife, wanted nothing to do with him up until she found out that he was seeing someone again. So for the past 2 months, it seems like she has been trying to weasel her way back into his life. Something I might wanna add here is that while they were married, she had an affair and ended up pregnant. Hence forth, the reason for the divorce, now, the baby on the other hand, no dna test has been done. So the baby comes to visit once in awhile. I'm a very territorial person, and I get jealous easily. Am I over reacting when she asked to come spend a night with us because things in her current relationship arent
2007-10-25 10:43:32 · 10 answers · asked by decadentkyssys 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
going well. For some reason, its weird with her. Lately I overheard her telling him that she loves him and things like that. I'm not comfortable with this at all and I feel like I'm being shoved aside. Even thou he says he never wants another thing to do with her in that respect. I just dont think she has that same tune going thru her head. Please help and I can give more details if needed.
2007-10-25 10:45:57 · update #1
Ill be honest with you in my answer. Sounds to me like she didn't want him but didn't want anyone else to have him either... I know its weird but some ppl are like that. She may have seen what she lost AFTER her affair but that's her tough luck... she made her bed... let her stay in it. As far as the baby is concerned i think that DNA testing needs to be done. IF your bf is the father then he needs to take his rightful place and love the child and be a dad to him, but on the other hand if he isn't the father then HE needs to know that as well and get the ex or soon to be ex wife OUT of his life. Sugar we all are territorial when it comes to our homes. That's our nest!! I don't think your overreacting at all... and as far as the ex coming for an overnight visit NO WAY!! regardless of what her life is.... I'm afraid if she is allowed to come into your home she may start problems for you and your bf. I think letting her stay would be inviting problems and once she is in there you may also have problems getting her to leave. I hope for you that it all works out well.. As a mother of a child that i didn't give birth to ... be good to the child... he deserves the best.
2007-10-25 11:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The option of her spending the night should never be an option. When my husband and I first got together, he was still married (seperated but married). A man will work at their own pace to make the best decision for them no matter how you feel about it. Its up to you if you choose to hang in their. As far as the kid goes, I would ask him how he feels about the child (without demeaning its mother) even though he hasn't told you maybe he does feel that the child is his. There isn't a reason to be jealous in this situation if it is pertaining to the child.
2007-10-25 11:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by ladylaw_ladylaw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how this is making you feel. She shouldn't be coming to her EX-husbands house to spend the night, that right there is a major problem. If he really wants nothing to do with her then he needs to cut her out of his life. Since there were no DNA tests done on the child he might want to request them just to be sure the baby is not his. If he's not willing to cut her out of his life then you need to cut him out of yours. You don't want to be in a relationship where your man is spending more time with his ex than with you.
2007-10-25 13:03:13 · answer #3 · answered by lily_siren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesn't have a dad for her new baby and is willing to settle for him again. I'd tell him your feelings on this issue and let him know it's you or her. If he was done with her why is there no divorce yet? he probly still has feelings for her and feels wanted by her again, shes boosting his ego and you're waiting on the side for him the whole while. you need to make a decision if this is the man for you. and what if the child really is his, you'll have to deal with this woman for a long time then if he chooses to be with you and not take her back to make his "family work". he needs to make a decision and so do you. this woman is just meddling trying to keep him to take care of her.
2007-10-25 11:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by Sarahz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad relationships can definately affect your future relationships.You might even look into some therapy just to deal with some of the bad stuff that happens.The only way you will heal is if you get out the hurt and anger from the past.That way you can move forward and not risk your new relationship.
2016-04-10 05:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a manipulator. She is immature. She is nothing but trouble. It's good that he's getting away from her. He should distance himself as far away from her as possible. If he gives her even the smallest hole, she will work her way in to manipulate his life any way she can. But remember, it is his responsibility to get rid of her. You need to stay out of it. The last thing you want is a situation where you and this woman are battling against each other and he is sitting back watching.
2007-10-25 10:51:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why do you and your boyfriend even let her in the house?? Are there other children involved?? You need to get your BF to agree that she is not allowed to stay at your house. The fact that her relationship is not good is no reason to let her stay at your place. That is her making and her problem. If your BF is not agreeable to this situation, you need to reevaluate your relationship with him. You may feel that he is not trying to come on to his wife, but he is probably flattered about all the attention. He may be somewhat passive-aggressive too. You have thinking to do. Good luck.
2007-10-25 10:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by Don Drapers woman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Weasel her way back into his life"? Uhhh....she's his wife!! You might be the one who weasled! I don't understand the issue about her having an affair. Did that mean it was okay for him to live with you??? You don't have anything to be jealous over. You're with a married man. Sorry.
2007-10-25 11:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him and tell him to take a test to see if the baby is even his...if it is then he should be visiting it but if it isnt there is no need for her or her baby to be hanging around you or her ex husband...i would not trust her at all she sounds like a snake that just wants somebody to support her and her child
2007-10-25 10:50:32 · answer #9 · answered by gracey 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You ask for this heart ache when you went into a relationship with a man that was not divorced. All sin has a price.
2007-10-25 10:50:02 · answer #10 · answered by New Nana 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋