My last had a bit of anger to it, but it was truly meant to be funny! Here is one I wrote and meant each word back when I wrote it:
Title: The Ending
I have reached the ending to the end.
The highway that never finished...
The sea with one big island...
Your heart at it's coldesac...
Standing in a puddle of rain,
My heart on your face,
my hands around your feet...
I clench onto the end
for one last breath
one last embrace...
And the mountains crumble,
and the sky slips away from the sun
as farewell slides out of your eyes...
and you wave goodbye~
2007-10-25 09:55:58 · 5 answers · asked by Mandolyn Monkey Munch 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Awesome poem.
Why not call it "The Last Wave".
You might think of water waves until you get to The End....no pun intended.
You are a wonderful wordsmith.
I give it 11 out of 10...really. AWESOME!!!
The title matters! "The End" was too sad for me, perhaps because my kid brother died recently.
I felt death, influenced by the poem's title, when "good byes" are not necessarily forever!
Especially if you believe in God, even death is not necessarily "the end"!!!
I was more hopeful, reading the poem, as if you were going to miss your guy, who was going away; but he may come back.
My brother took a job in Ottawa, and left his girlfriend in Windsor; "breaking up", thinking it was forever.
But was lonely for her, as he worked long hours at his important new job; and asked her to join him there, and they were soon married.
The poem reminded me of THAT moment in their lives, when they thought the were saying their last good-bye...and reflected that "hope" into the good-bye of death!
As he died, I told my brother, "I will see you again some day" ... so even death is NOT "the end"!!!
I was hoping Lisa would claim that promise for herself too.
I have a photo of Al's last good bye on my blog...see his LAST WAVE in link below.
2007-10-25 15:17:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I very much liked these three lines:
And the mountains crumble,
and the sky slips away from the sun
as farewell slides out of your eyes...
Nice writing.
2007-10-25 17:08:21 · answer #2 · answered by Todd 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
10 out of 10 very good.
2007-10-25 16:59:29 · answer #3 · answered by Rachael H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dang! That was good!!
I'm making a copy of that! Hope that's o.k.!
2007-10-27 09:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by Lover of Blue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good. i like it. keep writing. :D
2007-10-25 17:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by *luna's lover* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋