in need of funny/whitty comments for senior skit.. please help?

Question

okay, our senior skit is a beauty contest, i am one of the judges.. i need a comment on 6 "girls" for swimwear, then one for a talent portion dealing with lassoing a cow, and then one on 6 girls making it to the next level. They all have to be encouraging..

thanks for your help :)

yeah, they're half guys half girls.. we have a guy win at the end, then have someone reviel that he is a guy and then the runner up. also a guy wins..

also, we have 6 judges, each has a diff pesonallity and way they compliment them, im suppose to be encouraging and funny at the same time.. i just need like a witty line or comment for bathing suit, talent and proceding to the next level... and its like.. they said they want me to be like paula abdul, you know, loves everything no matter what kinda thing..

Answer 1

You say "girls"... are they guys dressed as girls but you have to pretend they're really girls and give serious comments that will be funny to your audience? It would be helpful to have more info. We're not your classmates so you won't be ruining the joke for anyone. Can you tell us more about your character? Are you playing your own age or someone older? Are you playing someone who's ditsy or an ex pageant winner who takes the job of judging very seriously and believes it to be such an honor?

Anything you could tell us would be helpful.

Personally I'm picturing an older lady who's so enamored with pageants and so grateful to have been asked to be a judge that she think everything is just wonderful! Like each girl is her own grandaughter. She would be so proud when the girl lasso's that cow that it brings tears to her eyes and a pitter patter to her heart. I see her wearing white gloves for some reason and pulling out a hanky from time to time ;-)

The girls in the bathing suits are all just darling! She might comment on how the colors compliment their hair or eye color, maybe even be inappropriate about how cute and round a tush or two is (because grandmas can do that). If you want to say anything negative it can be underhandedly the way older ladies do (Isn't that top great? It's so pretty maybe you don't notice her behind so much. What diet do you think she did? I know her family and whatever she did must have worked wonders!)

good luck!
Marianne