Why has sex become such a focus?

Question

It seems IMO that people have become so preoccupied with sex that they have forgotten what is most important, the relationship.

Do u think that people in this generation seem to choose partners based on a sexual encounter rather than true companionship? If so then do u think that maybe this idea of "lust" rather than love has lead to our high divorce rate?

Answer 1

An interesting survey was conducted a couple hundred years ago around the time that Massachusettes became a state and found that roughly half of all children were born out of wedlock.

My point is this: neither sex nor lust nor bad decisions are anything new by any stretch of the imagination.

As to possible causes of the divorce rate... I can think of at least a half dozen plausible ones. Maybe being able to get married on a few minutes notice is part of the reason. Maybe the perception that marriage doesn't have to be permanent is part of the reason. Maybe even poor acceptance of cheating is part of the reason (there are some correlations between nations where cheating is accepted and low divorce rates).

Most likely ALL of these are reasons, as well as poor relationship skills. By picking just one (and a disputable one such as a sudden surge of lust) you are probably way overinflating its importance.

Answer 2

Of course, you hit the nail on the head buddy. That's exactly the problem - -and if you read enough of peoples questions here on Yahoo you'll see that quite clearly. It's about who looks good, who turns you on, I don't want to leave cause they're good in bed. . stupid stuff-- and for the most part, it's window dressing. It's not the glue that holds two people together. The things people should be focusing on to make sure they have a good person, are the last things on their list. Do you ever see someone writing, I like a guy, but I want to make sure he's a God fearing guy, or goes to church, is respectful of his mother. . that stuff doesn't matter to folks. And in most cases, people know before hand they have someone who isn't a faithful type or is deceptive in some way but keep trying to make it work - when you knew from the beginning how they were, but you always think you can change someone. And truth be told that wasn't the right person for you anyway you picked him based on something shallow like their looks, their clothes, their car, how much money they spent on you. . then folks wonder why they're getting a divorce.

Answer 3

Honestly I think ppl in this generation are just more comfy talking about sex. and being that it comes across as more of a focus. My marriage the sex is great but so is the relationship.

I believe the divorce rate is higher because more ppl like a quick fix they get upset and don't want to actually "work" on the real problems.

Answer 4

I think you are totally right, sex has become so advertised everywhere it is pathetic.

It is on tv, on the radio, on billboards, it is everywhere!!!!

It is giving our children the wrong idea about sex!! That is why I am a stay at home mother, I am there and here for my daughter when she needs to talk about anything and everything, if I had a job, I would not be there for her and by the time I got home, it would be to late to talk, she would be in bed and sleeping! Then the next day, she would go to school with the same question in her mind.

I have nothing against working parents, but I am proud of what I am able to do, because during this day and age, we as parents really need to protect our children of the future, and I am so blessed to be a stay-at-home-mom!

I have a wonderful husband who totally agrees and supports me!!!!

I think that in this day and age, people forgot about love and when they meet someone it is all lust, then they say their vows in front of God and their families and then a few years later, they lost everything, everything and every feeling for their spouse.

Pretty sad, just look at all the questions that are being posted here about lost lust, and cheating, and angry spouses, and spouses wanting to cheat..........it is so sad!!!!

If we could all take a lesson from our elders maby the world would be a better place.

Answer 5

I think that your question is very on point. The divorce rate is high these days because the relationship focus is on the self rather than the partnership. The whole idea of picking a dating partner because "they're hot" when they have issues that make them a poor relationship partner for that person.

I once heard a man talk about how he was entitled to have sex as often as he wanted to, and if his wife wasn't willing to do it, then he had every right to go out there and find someone who could....

I think that the focus in our society is the gratification.... the physiological sensation and not on the emotional connection or all the things that make a relationship successful.

Answer 6

I agree. I was convinced I was to be alone forever when I met my husband. For 4 years, we were the best friends...only.

Now, we've been married for five and we still can't get over how cool it is that we enjoy our time together so much. And having kids made it more fun.

I hear so many people focusing on the little stuff and it bugs me out and gives me a sense of relief that we're not like that.

Sex is great, but it's just one part of a big picture.

Answer 7

I have to say yes to both of your questions. I think this is partly why my parents stressed the wait until you are married to have sex that way you know you love the person not only lust for the person well i did not wait but I have to say sex is not the focus of our marriage. I think we are instilling in our kids today the importance of sex by throwing it at them in school at such a young age. Just my thoughts

Answer 8

i think lust/love has nothing to do with the divorce rate. People are finding out that they do not have to hold on to traditional ideas about marriage, sex and relationships to be accepted. I think "free" thinking people will come back to sticking with partners for the right reasons as opposed to getting with them for the wrong ones

Answer 9

Sex is a very important part of an intimate relationship. Try doing without sex for a long time while in a relationship and you will know what I mean.

Don't get me wrong, it is not the most important thing, but it is definitely in the top 5. I can have a lot of good friends, but my partner is more than that, and I want to share myself with them, and I want them to want me.

Answer 10

When you get older Pookie you will understand that in recent years people have begun to feel more secure about being sexual creatures and admitting publicly that they like sex. Sex is no more a focus now than ever. It's just in the media more. But people have been having all kinds of sex since---we came into existence!