"An iron hand in a velvet glave"; How strict should parents be?

Answer 1

There are certain rules that are established, period. When those are broken, there are consequences. Consistency, love, and open communication are 3 vital aspects of discipline. You cannot hold a child so close they are smothered yet so free there are no established rules with consequences. Alot of how strict parents have to be is also determined by the child, some require less, others you almost wanna choke. Open, non-judgmental, communication has been awesome for us. Not that we agree on everything but we sit and listen objectively and respect them as a person and their feelings. Best of luck

Answer 2

Parents need to set boundaries for their children and not give in to whining and wheedling.

Make the punishment fit the crime. If you ground a child for two weeks over a minor problem, how is that child going to respect and learn from the discipline if he/she misbehaves in a manner that requires two weeks grounding?

Physical punishment is a no-no no matter what the child does. And I'll hedge by saying I smacked my kids on the hand when they were getting ready to attack an electrical outlet. I also smacked my granddaughter on the bottom when she ran out into the street. Both issues needed immediate attention and impression in their minds.

Answer 3

I'm not sure but I can tell you if you give your child everything and allow them to make decisions at a very young age you may have the same troubles I have. My son is 15 and he feels so equal to myself and my husband that he talks to me as if we are a married couple. Its unbelieveable how he corrects me. (of course I corrected him for years. I thought I was suppose to.) He makes all his own choices(except he needs permisssion t skip school and drive the car.) He was inviting friends over to spend the night and after awhile I decided I have to change this .....so I suggested he ask permission. well he did not feel the same so finally I had to put his friends out just to let him know he is not the primary home owner.( we do not mind his friends comming for an overnight but kids should ask.) His grades began to slide because at least I believe because we always made everything so easy for him because we wanted him to be happy. well he is happy but we are not quite as happy as he is. So I do think I would add firmness to my parenting if I could do it over again. I did not want my son to fear us as I feared my dad. but what my dad did paid off. We never mouthed off. but our son does. we never slurped our soup. but our son does. we always ate what offered us. but my son asks for something different if he does not like the dish. Our dad made us eat everything mom served. like it or not. now most of us were quite fat and I thought it was dads fault because we had to finish adult size servings. but guess what our son is overweight also because he was allowed to make his own choices. best of luck in the future. I am not sure if there is a perfect answer for this question. Good question though.

Answer 4

It depends upon the situation and the individual.

I had two children, and i had to handle each differently. Different personalities...