It's hard to describe this question in few words, child custody, father in prison..please open.?

Question

My son is now 2 years old. He has my last name and his father has never been in our lives. I admit I made the mistake of being with this "man" when I was young and not so wise, looking for love in all the wrong places. Yes, I know I have grown fast in the past 2 years, I am earning two certificates in college an associates degree next and then moving on to pursue a Bachelors Degree in English-Philosophy. I am ensuring a good life for my son and things are going well, all until the day I get that letter in the mail from his father. He still have not taken the paternity test, he keeps being moved from prison to prison. I am wishing that I could just stop the process, tell him he's not the father, but I know I cannot do this. He was charged with Abuse of Child and Fire Enhancement, drug trafficing the list goes on. I do not want this man in my son's life. What can I do, if I were to ask them to stop pursuing him for child support what would happen? Would I owe the state since I am on.....

welfare, I hate being on welfare, which is why I'm working so hard to prove I am a good mother and make a great life for us. I hate being so needy and depending on the state. Not to mention, I am afraid that if his father cannot win in court he will do things his way or just skip court and do things his way right away. What are my options, how much could this cost me to keep this man out of our lives. My son has my last name and now he's sending me documents with his fathers last name attached to mine. But he dodges paternity tests. I am so confused, any help would be much appriciated. Thank you all.

Answer 1

You can have his parental rights terminated.
http://www.divorcenet.com/states/minnesota/mn_art23
State statutes can be found here:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/groundtermin.cfm

Answer 2

first of all i just want to say that i am sorry for what you are going through. that is awesome that you want to pursue a better life for you and your son, it shows that you are a great mom who cares a great deal about her child. you cant stop the state from him owing back child support, my parents are still going through this and my youngest sibling is now 18 and he still owes back child support to the state. you would not owe the state anything for him owing child support, if your not getting any money from him right now so you need the states help that is what it is there for, so you would not owe the state anything. if and when he gets out of prison do not let him see your child until you get the paternity test done, and even if he is the father of your son and he tries to get full custody there is no way the courts would let that happen seeing his record of child abuse and drug charges. so you dont have to worry there. i hope all goes well on your part and take care of yourself and your precious child.

Answer 3

If you are on public assistance or something similar, you may not have that option. The State has the right to file in your name, to regain the money it is giving to you to help support your child. You can probably seek sole custody and ask for no visitation, but the support matter, I believe, is in the hands of the State as long as you receive money or medical coverage from them. At least, that is how it works in my state (I work in Family Court). You can force the paternity test issue, particularly if he is incarcerated. But that may leave the door open for a name change to include the father's last name, if the father requests. Sorry, wish I had better news. You need to talk with your Child Support representative (not the account person, your LEGAL representative) and/or the equivalent of the Family Court in your area.

Answer 4

Continue with the DNA tests, have a court hearing about the child custody. Make sure you have sole custody, then, have the courts order him to stay away, or seek counseling. There is nothing you can do to eliminate his being the father. as much as we wish it. You can protect your child though, by going through the proper channels. Tell the judge that you do not want this man in your child's life, due not only to the fact that he is in prison,but that he is a risk to the childs health and safety. Change your address to a post office box and have an advocate to handle any contact with the monster

Answer 5

I have to say this. I have a BA in English Lit...don't major in English anything unless you plan to be a teacher or pursue more schooling. I have been out of college since '04 and have yet to pursue a job using my degree.

In regard to your question, I think the only thing you can do to stop anything is if you fail to comply with their wishes. If you stop cooperating then they will stop the investigation.

I was in a situation sort of similar to yours. I was on govt aid for a while and then my fiance moved in. I didn't report he was living with me so then they began asking questions about him. I told him he was living in his last apartment still as far as I knew but then I got a letter requesting I show up in court to obtain child support from him. I just didn't show and they closed the investigation.

Answer 6

First, you should file a restraining order against the father. That should stop the mail. Tell your case worker of the situation and get referred to legal counsel.

He's being moved prison to prison as that is a form of punishment. You can bet he is misbehaving in prison. That is the form of punishment since solitary confinement was limited. Depriving him of a steady bunk and keeping them on the move in busses works on all but the worst.

Great on your persuits to improve your life for you and your child. You are the type that welfare was made to help.

Answer 7

Why pursue child support with him? If he ever gets free and pays you a visit, then you will really have your hands full. I would rather sign up for welfare and try to get an education that way. This is not a person you want in your life at any time. I would tell the welfare person that I don't who the father was. It doesn't matter if they think that I slept around; it's for the safety of myself and my child.

Answer 8

go to the Citizens Advice and ask them for help. If his father has been convicted of child abuse and Drug trafficking then you may have a strong case against him having anything to do with your son. As for child support just because a parent does not have access does not mean they shouldn't pay support. Get some legal advice

Answer 9

Based on his character, I don't see how you would have any problem at all fielding any attempts he might make to put himself into your child's life when he gets out of prison. You did the right thing reporting him as the child's father, however, and you have every right to go after him for child support. Only problem is it doesn't sound like he will ever be employed in any kind of work where you could possibly hope to get anything out of him. However, because you declared him as the child's father, I believe this will go in your favor if you should ever need government help with the costs of raising your child.

The authorities will certainly think very favorably of you as they see what you are doing to improve your own situation and quality of life, as you work hard to earn your college credentials. Incidentally, I would strongly urge you to do everything you need to do to ensure the authorities notify you when and if he is released from prison. Given his extensive criminal activities, including charges of child abuse, you are absolutely justified in requesting this information, and, in your shoes, I would say also seeking an order of restraint against him in the belief that he might come after you when he gets out. I don't think it would hurt at all if you had a little chat with a lawyer who specializes in this kind of situation. Lawyers will usually give you the benefit of knowledge for a little bit of nothing, or even totally free of charge. Giving you advice, they aren't actually doing any work for you, so unless or until you do hire that lawyer, he most likely will not charge you anything. You can learn an awful lot of very valuable stuff from a lawyer in a thirty minute, or hour's conversation, and it could put you on the right track as to how you could, and should prepare for any possible contingency.

You hang in there, and keep up the good work academically. The hard work will certainly pay off in future, and enable you to make a good life for yourself and your little boy. Oh, and don't forget there are a lot of women's help organizations out there these days for this kind of thing. Find one in your area and visit with them too.

Answer 10

You need to see a lawyer. You have very specific questions about your very specific case. The laws in every state are different. Since he abused a child you may be able to get a order of protection for when he gets out.

If you are on public assistance it is not up to you if they pursue child support or not. You have already accepted child support. They are now after what he owes them.

Answer 11

as Yahzmin already stated, the state has the right to file for child support if you are receiving public assistance/welfare benefits from them. they expect you to cooperate in their efforts to recover some of the benefits paid to you. i don't think there is much you can do about that.

but, PLEASE, establish custody as quickly as possible, if you haven't already done that. people assume they do not have to do this if the are the sole or primary caretaker of a child. however, it could become a problem in the future if you do not have custody of your child. it will be best for you to do this while he is still locked up. hopefully when he gets out he will not want to spend the money to contest it.

good luck, girl. you sound like you are headed in the right direction and have a good plan. keep your head up, don't let him get to you and PROTECT your parental rights NOW.